Learn strategies to handle stress in difficult conversations; normalize stress and improve relationships; manage anxiety and focus on intentions; how to calm nerves and embrace vulnerability; encouraging questions and engagement.
Focus on having a conversation and improving the relationship, instead of feeling the pressure to perform in difficult conversations.
Practice speaking out loud to gain confidence in expressing yourself and increase trust in your ability to speak coherently.
Deep dives
Release the pressure of performing
During difficult conversations, it's common to feel stressed and anxious. However, it's important to release the idea that you have to perform. Instead, focus on having a conversation and improving the relationship. Trust that your intention is good and that your purpose is to make things better.
Practice speaking out loud
To overcome nervousness in difficult conversations, it's helpful to practice speaking out loud. Mentally rehearsing the conversation is not enough. By saying the words out loud, either alone or using voice-to-text technology, you can gain confidence in expressing yourself. This practice also helps to increase the trust in your ability to speak clearly and coherently.
Prepare an opening sentence and set your intention
Knowing how to start the conversation and setting clear intentions are important strategies. Determine your opening sentence and practice it until you feel comfortable. Additionally, ask yourself what you want for yourself, the other person, and the relationship. Keeping your focus on your intentions and self-awareness can help reduce anxiety and keep the conversation on track.
It happens to all of us, no matter how many times we’ve been in a difficult conversation: we get nervous. We feel stress. That stress can show up in lots of ways: in our body language, breathing patterns, our seeming inability to put words together in a logical order. Even when we figure out what we want to say and how to say it, we can tie ourselves up in nervous knots.
Our question this episode: how can you work through stress so that you can effectively engage in a difficult conversation?
This episode features my response to a question submitted by a listener. If you have a question you’d like addressed on a future episode, visit howcanisaythis.com for details. You’ll also find the transcript of this episode, plus archives of past episodes, on the site. Thanks for listening!