What We Really Want: Conversations About Connection 45 | Drew Boa: How We Outgrow Porn
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People addicted to pornography often experience lots of shame and self-contempt ("What's wrong with me?!"). They often see their sexual desire, and the fact that they go to porn to try and satisfy it, as THE problem.
Our guest, DREW BOA, disagrees. In his new book Outgrow Porn: Find Lasting Freedom Without Fighting an Exhausting Battle, Drew says, "Your sexuality is not the problem, and the urge to watch porn is not bad either. It's a symptom of unprocessed pain. When you understand this, your journey will dramatically change."
In this great conversation with our first returning guest, we talk with Drew about how compassion and curiosity are far more helpful in outgrowing porn struggles than shame, self-condemnation, and strategies limited only to behavior management. We discuss how evangelicalism's history of unhelpful messages about sex have negatively contributed to people's struggles. And we talk about how committing to a path of healing and recovery can help us find what we've been looking for all along.
Drew is the founder of Husband Material, an online community where men can find friends, coaching, and resources to support them in their path to living as mature, healthy men.
Some of the items we discussed in the episode:
- Drew's previous episode of What We Really Want
- Sheila & Keith Gregoire's episode of What We Really Want
- Johan Hari's famous TED Talk
How to connect with Drew:
- Husband Material website
- Husband Material podcast
- Outgrow Porn book from Drew's website (discount + bonus materials)
- Outgrow Porn book on Amazon
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