Living with Heart: From Birth to Death 76 - Pitfalls of Leadership: #5 Secrets Sap Passion and Purpose
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Remember that the Pitfalls are descending steps; one connects to the other with predictable effects.
Some leaders have referred to the descent as a “chain reaction.”
The descent can be stopped at any time, with an intervention from others whom the leader listens and healthily responds to, or a cry out from the leader in descent who is heard and responded to by others.
The Five Pitfalls:
- Work becomes confused with one’s worth.
- Performance begins to be valued more than one’s presence.
- People become things.
- To be an example to others, the true self is isolated.
- Secrets sap one’s passion and purpose.
These pitfalls can destroy careers, friendships, reputations, marriages and families—unless one is freed from them.
# 5 Secrets sap the leader’s passion and purpose
Once the leader’s true self is isolated, the “getaway” or “cure” is usually a closely held secret.
A secret is anything one withholds from appropriate people because they
fear rejection, judgment, censuring, or being controlled.
Secrets:
- require a person to withhold emotional and spiritual struggles from the people who hunger to know them and care about them.
- block the intimacy, or “into-me-see,” that is an essential part of human encouragement and fulfillment.
- make a person sick because they are not connected to relationship with others.
At this point, a leader begins to survive in a cycle of work, performance, isolation, and secrets that increase toxic shame and guilt.
To dissipate the shame and guilt, the leader tries to work harder, perform better, which cycles into a repetition of isolation and secrets.
As the cycle continues, a leader will begin to experience symptoms of burnout, depression, excessive anxiety, addiction, and other forms of impairment.
Jesus says in John 10:10, “I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. (NIV)
To many leaders who are caught up in the swirl of Pitfall #5, this scripture reference seems like a long-lost illusion.
By Pitfall #5, the leader is far away from everything they had once hoped and believed.
Jesus also says in John 10:10, “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy.” (NIV)
This reference is a living, breathing experience for the leader. He or she is being robbed of every blessing they were created to experience in the passion, struggle, and joy of getting to do what they were created to do.