123: How To Date Intentionally and Find a Healthy Relationship — In the Trenches with Ali Jackson
Feb 11, 2025
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Explore the realities of long-distance relationships and discover if they're worth the emotional investment. Learn to differentiate between limerence and genuine connection, ensuring you're truly interested, not just infatuated. Get tips on addressing exclusivity without ruining the vibe, and recognize red flags in casual flings. Plus, there's a wake-up call about waiting for someone—it's time to take action! Tune in for raw, unfiltered advice that will reshape your dating journey and lead to healthier relationships.
Navigating long-distance relationships requires both partners' commitment to maintain emotional connection and effective communication to avoid frustration.
Understanding the difference between limerence and genuine connection is crucial in recognizing when to let go of unreciprocated feelings.
Taking proactive steps in dating rather than waiting for the 'right time' encourages authentic relationships and personal happiness without insecurities.
Deep dives
The Dynamics of Long-Distance Relationships
Long-distance relationships pose unique challenges and complexities, particularly in maintaining communication and emotional connection. The episode discusses how individuals often find themselves involved with someone they connect with during travel, only to face the reality of distance once the initial excitement fades. It highlights the importance of both parties being equally invested in sustaining the relationship, as a lack of mutual effort can lead to feelings of frustration and unreciprocated emotions. The conversation emphasizes that without clear intentions from both partners regarding their commitment, such relationships might not endure.
Understanding Release and Emotional Growth
The importance of emotional release in dating is a focal point in the discussion, where the speakers highlight that it is essential to let go of relationships that no longer serve you. They express that individuals sometimes mistakenly hold onto connections out of fear or limerence, but true growth comes from recognizing when something is not meant to last. The episode stresses that relationships can teach valuable lessons, even if they end, and that it's crucial to acknowledge the temporary nature of some connections without attaching deep emotional significance to them. Releasing your grip on expectations can lead to newfound emotional freedom.
The Inefficacy of Waiting for the 'Right' Timing
The speakers address the common misconception that waiting for the 'right time' or 'right person' will eventually lead to success in love. They assert that a relationship's worth is not determined by waiting but by actively pursuing what one truly desires. It is discussed that hesitation often stems from insecurity, and genuine connections can develop when both individuals are willing to express their intentions clearly rather than putting their lives on hold for someone else's timeline. The importance of taking responsibility for one's happiness and not relying on others to dictate one's emotional state is emphasized.
Communication: The Key to Conflict Resolution
Effective communication in relationships is underscored as a vital component for resolving conflicts and ensuring harmony. The speakers advocate for direct discussions about how each partner handles conflict, arguing that understanding each other's approaches can mitigate potential issues down the line. They also highlight the distinction between asking questions and passively observing behavior, asserting that both methods play vital roles in gauging compatibility. By establishing open lines of communication, couples can navigate disputes more gracefully and build a stronger foundation for their relationship.
Deciding When to Move On
The topic of determining when to let go of a relationship that may not be progressing is thoroughly examined. Listeners are encouraged to evaluate their feelings toward the relationship, particularly when one party expresses a desire to keep things casual. The speakers provide insights on avoiding emotional attachments that aren't reciprocated, cautioning against investing energy in relationships that lack mutual commitment. They advocate for recognizing one's worth and pursuing connections that align with personal desires for growth and stability.
Ever found yourself obsessing over someone who doesn’t make you feel secure? Struggling with long-distance dynamics or wondering if you’re stuck in limerence? This episode is your reality check.
Sabrina sits down with the unapologetically honest Ali Jackson, creator of @findingmrheight, to answer YOUR burning questions straight from the trenches. From navigating long-distance situationships to decoding mixed signals and handling the dreaded “I’m not ready for a relationship” talk, we’re cutting through the noise with raw, unfiltered advice.
What You'll Learn:
Long-Distance Reality Check: Is it worth it? What signs should you never ignore?
Limerence vs. Genuine Connection: Are you truly into them or just the fantasy?
How to Bring Up Exclusivity: Without feeling like you're 'ruining' anything.
When to Walk Away: Spotting red flags in situationships and casual flings.
The Truth About Waiting for Someone: (Hint: Stop.)
Get Involved: Got a question for Sabrina? Send your dating dilemmas, screenshots, or situationships to inthetrenches@sabrinazohar.com for a chance to be featured in the next episode.
Stuck After the Podcast? Master Implementation in 8 Weeks with Sabrina's Foundation Course HERE! Do you feel like your emotions run the show and react in ways you can’t control? Join the Nervous System 101: Navigating the Unknowns In Early Dating from Sabrina and Masha Kay HERE! Struggling with a breakup? Join the Make It Make Sense: Getting Through a Breakup course from Sabrina and Britt Frank HERE!
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Disclaimer: The Sabrina Zohar Show, formally known as Do The Work, is not affiliated with A.Z & associates LLC in any capacity.
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