How To Connect With Your Ancestors Spiritually

Are you curious about how to connect with your ancestors spiritually for help, healing and more? In this episode, I explain easy ways to communicate with departed family and handle the ones who haven’t yet healed.

Connect with Your Ancestors

All over the world, people work with their ancestors to create a sacred connection. There are many reasons to reach out across the veil and speak to your kinfolk.

It doesn’t have to be complicated, spooky, or overly ceremonial. This is not Hollywood, right? At it’s heart, ancestor work is a beautiful spiritual practice that honors where you come from and invites supportive ancestral energy into your life.

In this post, you’ll discover why you might want to connect with your ancestors, how to begin, what to offer, and what to do when the ancestors who show up aren’t exactly wise, loving, or… helpful. (Yes, it happens.)

I’m not going deep into ancestral healing in this episode. But it’s good to know when you heal yourself of anything passed down through your family, you often heal the family line as well, back to the root of the problem.

Why Work With Ancestors?

People come to ancestral work for all kinds of reasons. Curiosity. Grief. Nostalgia. A desire to connect more deeply with your roots. Working with your ancestors offers guidance, healing, and a profound sense of belonging.

5 Reasons to Build a Relationship with Your Ancestors

Support and guidance: They’ve lived through hard times too. Their wisdom is embedded in your DNA.

A sense of rootedness: Feeling disconnected from the world? Your lineage can ground you.

Spiritual clarity: This practice helps you tune in to something deeper than daily noise.

Reciprocity: Honoring those who came before you expands your spiritual life in surprising ways.

Energetic healing: When trauma or patterns are inherited, ancestral work can help you clear them for yourself and future generations.

You don’t need to have had a great relationship with your family—or even know their stories. This is about connecting with the wise, healed ancestors who may have experience with what is challenging you today. They can offer assistance.

These are all wonderful reasons to learn how to connect with your ancetsors spiritually.

How to Set Up an Ancestor Altar

Creating an altar is a beautiful, simple way to invite connection. You’re making a space that says, “You are welcome here.”

You’ll need:

• A small, clean surface
• A cloth to define the space
• Photos or names of ancestors
• A candle
• A glass of water (a spiritual conduit)
• Any personal or symbolic items that feel meaningful

You don’t need to overthink it. Just let the space feel like a warm invitation. And remember to state clearly that you are calling on your “loving, whole, and healed ancestors.” This filters out the ones who aren’t quite there yet (more on that later).

What Offerings to Make

Offerings are a way to honor and build relationships. These gifts create energetic reciprocity. You’re giving thanks, showing respect, and strengthening the bond, making it easier to connect with your ancestors spiritually.

Simple offerings might include:

• Fresh water
• Coffee, tea, or a favorite drink
• Bread, fruit, or sweets
• Flowers or herbs
• Incense or perfume they used to wear

When to Make Offerings

• On birthdays, anniversaries, or holidays
• During full or new moons, solstices or equinoxes
• Anytime you need guidance or feel grateful

You can refresh offerings weekly or monthly, or when you want to connect – it’s totally up to you.

A Simple Ritual to Connect

Here’s one more important thing to know about how to connect with your ancestors spiritually – it can be easy! Here’s a short, yet powerful 5-step ritual you can do anytime:

Prepare – Clear your energy, straighten up the altar, light a candle, and place your offering.

Invite – Say something like: “I call on my loving, whole, and healed ancestors who have the desire and ability to help me. I remember and honor you.”

Speak – Share what’s in your heart and on your mind. Thank them. Ask for guidance or just be present.

Listen – Be open to receiving messages through thoughts, emotions, symbols, or dreams.

Close – Thank them again. Blow out the candle. Return offerings to nature.

If you enjoy journaling, try automatic writing. Ask for a message, then write whatever comes without editing. You might be surprised by the wisdom that flows. And sometimes ancestral healing may crop up in the writing.

Here’s another episode about working with your ancestors.

What You Can Work On Together

Ancestor work isn’t just about healing the past, but can also build an ongoing connection. You can:

• Ask for clarity around life decisions
• Request help with relationships (including family)
• Seek encouragement and protection
• Discover hidden talents or spiritual gifts
• Explore lineage stories or karmic themes

Some believe that helping us is part of our ancestors’ soul evolution. They want to support us. And the more you connect, the more the relationship grows.

When Ancestors Get Snarky

Okay, let’s talk about the awkward part. Sometimes the ancestors who show up are not exactly warm or wise. Some might show up cranky, judgmental, or even downright snarky. Just because someone has crossed over doesn’t mean they’ve evolved or are any wiser.

Years ago, I did a poorly worded invocation during a magic ritual. I asked for the “highest available ancestors,” thinking that meant spiritually evolved.

What I got instead was a group of spiritually bossy types who were available. They proceeded to scold me like disapproving Victorian aunts. So rude! The lesson I learned was to be specific and only call on ancestors who are loving, whole, and healed.

This is why you want to learn how to connect with your ancestors spiritually the proper way. I haven’t worked on ancestral healing with these difficult spirits but it’s probably a good idea.

Another Snarky Ancestor Story

Then recently, I had a reading from someone I hadn’t worked with before. As she began channeling, the messages were laced with digs—like “You’re too independent” and “too practical.”

I asked her to shift the energy upward and reach above those spirits. We did get a few helpful nuggets, but most of it remained tangled in the snark-zone. Even the reader admitted it was the snarkiest reading she’d ever done. I believe it.

So, keep this in mind whether you doing ancestral healing or just calling on your ancestors for support or comfort. You get to decide who you talk to.

Just because someone is on the other side doesn’t mean they’re spiritually evolved—or helpful. There’s no need to tolerate unkind or critical energy from the spirit world (or this world either).

How to Set Boundaries With Spirits

Think of communicating with spirits like any relationship. As you discover how to connect with your ancestors spiritually, if someone shows up acting shady, now you know you don’t have to work with them.

• Be specific when inviting: “Only loving, whole, and healed ancestors.”
• Set firm boundaries: “If you are not of 100% light, please leave now.”
• Trust your intuition—if something feels off, it probably is.
• Feel free to say “No” and send pesky ancestors packing.
• Ask questions: “Who are you? From which line? How far back do you go?”

You wouldn’t let just anyone in your house. Same goes for your entering energy field!

To work with your ancestors, you don’t need to know your full family tree, have formal training, or attend any special workshops. It’s about respect, intuition, and relationships.

Whether you light a candle, whisper a name, or leave out a cup of tea, you’re opening a line of communication. You are the living legacy of countless lives. They walk with you. But you get to decide who walks beside you.

And if a spirit shows up acting shady? Firmly ask them to leave. You might do a bit of ancestral healing to separate and clear things up with any difficult spirits.

Remember it’s your altar, your energy, your rules. And your whole and healed ancestors surely will visit to cheer you on!

Go ahead – light a candle, offer a cookie, and say hello. That’s how to connect with your ancestors spiritually. Someone loving is likely waiting to hear from you.

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