Learn 12 valuable lessons in the host's polycurious journey, including patience, honesty, and decreasing jealousy over time. They discuss meeting partners, controlling feelings for others, and the power of non-sexual intimacy. The podcast also explores the benefits of non-monogamy and navigating new relationship energy. The host reflects on personal growth and encourages openness in non-monogamous relationships.
Patience and going at a comfortable pace is crucial in a non-monogamous journey, respecting the needs and adjustments of both partners.
Choosing the right time to discuss non-monogamous desires is vital to create a safe and open space for honest conversations.
Deep dives
Lesson 1: Be patient and go at a pace comfortable for both partners
One of the main lessons learned in the journey is the importance of patience and going at a pace that is comfortable for both partners. The speaker shares their experience of wanting to be open from the beginning of their relationship, but understanding that their partner needed time to adjust. They discuss the importance of taking small steps and compromising to create a safe and smooth transition into non-monogamy.
Lesson 2: Find the right time to discuss non-monogamous desires
Another important lesson shared is the significance of finding the right time to discuss non-monogamous desires with a partner. The speaker reveals that bringing up the topic during a date was not ideal for their partner, as it felt like a contamination of their time together. Instead, they learned to wait for a moment after spending quality time together to have open and honest conversations about seeing other people.
Lesson 3: Communication and checking in before making plans
The podcast episode emphasizes the importance of checking in with one's partner before making plans with other people. The speaker shares personal experiences of making plans without consulting their partner first, which led to cancellations and misunderstandings. They emphasize the need for open communication and ensuring that both partners are on the same page, even before solidifying plans with others.
Lesson 4: Accepting feelings and managing guilt
A key lesson discussed is the acceptance of feelings for other people and managing guilt associated with them. The speaker describes feeling guilt even though their primary relationship was strong. They emphasize the importance of acknowledging that having feelings for others doesn't necessarily mean something is wrong with the primary relationship. Learning to navigate and manage these emotions is an essential part of the non-monogamous journey.