137: You Don’t Need More Motivation, You Need More Self-Connection with MFY Coach Patrick McKee

Aug 15, 2025

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External motivation is a tricky and fickle thing that can make you consistent one week, only to feel defeated and deflated the next 3 weeks.

Why?

Because external motivation is a short-term band-aid that’s not only unsustainable over time, but actually makes it harder to be consistent with any goal you’re trying to achieve.

There’s a better source to fuel your energy in pursuit of your goals: Yourself.

Problem is, we’ve never been more disconnected from our true selves than ever before thanks in large part to social media. But something magical happens when you reconnect with yourself:

Your brain joins your team instead of constantly criticizing you.

This journey of self-connection isn’t always puppies and rainbows… but it’s possible. And today’s guest, MFY Coach Patrick, LCPC (who has 25+ years of experience as a mental health professional) understands this better than anyone, especially as it relates to your consistency with fitness.

Patrick battled depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem first hand, which led him to become a mental health specialist in the first place. And as the Motivation & Consistency Coach at Man Flow Yoga, he has a sixth sense for helping you understand how you hold yourself back on an emotional level.

He also understands how to talk to your “inner world” in a way that reconnects you to yourself, and allows you to be consistent without relying on motivation.

Here’s what Coach Patrick shares in this episode:

How to give yourself permission to stop beating yourself up
The “Monster in the Basement” trap of negative self-talk that flies under most guys’ radars
How to be kinder with yourself even when you’re not in a good place

And more, including these highlights:

Why advice that only tells you what to do falls flat (even if it’s good advice, it doesn’t empower you like Coach Patrick’s “Empowerment Therapy” coaching style) (4:46)
The weird way celebrating your wins, even if they’re small, prevents you from falling into the trap of self-sabotage (5:54)
How motivational YouTube videos can actually make you feel defeated and deflated (and the trick to stop relying on motivation completely without sacrificing your fitness goals) (10:12)
2 reasons why more men are unhappy today than we’ve ever been (13:02)
Do you feel disconnected from yourself? Here are 3 techniques that help you tune out the noise and understand yourself on a deeper level (17:09)
How to actually convince your brain to join your team instead of being your biggest critic (21:37)
How to point out your flaws and faults and failures in a kind way (31:01)
Why focusing your intrusive thoughts, anxieties, and insecurities to a specific body part can help you “digest” the emotion without spiraling (47:48)
The counterintuitive reason trying to ignore negative thoughts, emotions, and stories give them more power of you (49:41)

Listen now!

Resources mentioned on this episode:

1. 1-on-1 Coaching with MFY Coach Patrick: If you’re struggling with motivation and consistency, negative self-talk and self-sabotage, or another mental health problem, Coach Patrick has 1-on-1 coaching spots open. You can learn more about being coached by Patrick and sign up for 1-on-1 coaching here: https://manflowyoga.com/man-flow-yoga-one-on-one-coaching/

2. Group Coaching with MFY Coach Patrick: Or, if you prefer a group setting where you’re surrounded by other like-minded men who are struggling through similar problems as you, Coach Patrick also does group coaching. You can learn more about group coaching and sign up for group coaching with Coach Patrick here: https://manflowyoga.com/mfy-12-week/