S3E10: Summer Rewatch Series: How Purity Culture is Uniquely Damaging to Teens and Young Adults, with Linda Kay Klein

16 years ago, Linda Kay Klein embarked on a storytelling journey that would change her life (and the lives of many others).

In her 2018 book Pure: Inside the Evangelical Movement That Shamed a Generation of Young Women and How I Broke Free, Linda captures the experiences of hundreds of women, herself included, who grew up within and confronted the consequences of the Evangelical purity culture movement in the 90s and early 2000s. Through Pure and her nonprofit, Break Free Together, Linda has created numerous spaces to bring folks together to share their stories about repression, bravery, and ultimately freedom. We are thrilled to have her as a podcast guest!

Freedom comes in expected and unexpected ways. For instance, in this episode, learn how shrimp tails and boxes drawn on a dorm room wall were formative experiences that helped Linda access the bravery to tell the story that she was so afraid to share.

“The great thing about doing something that you’re really, really afraid of is the feeling when you survive.”

Linda, Jeremiah, and Julia also discuss:

• What makes purity culture particularly appealing and damaging to adolescents (10:00): At a time in which youth are particularly vulnerable, leaders within the purity culture movement combine language of belonging and intense emotionality to create a culture of conformity. Linda describes, “When I left Evangelicalism, I had to contend with how damaging it was. I went in with a pretty good sense of myself and the world.” Sadly, the confines of purity culture had long-lasting, devastating consequences.

• The grief and anger that accompanied the writing process (21:30): Initially, Linda was hopeful when she met other women who could relate to her story. “But then, when the numbers started to add up, and it became clear that this was a lot of people who are hurting, that became something to grieve over time.” Additionally, the systemic coverup of overt and covert sexual abuse in churches and the ensuing silencing of survivors showed that the people who were supposed to protect a generation of women had failed to keep them safe.

• The confusion in finding your freedom (30:00): As a sexual health coach, Linda’s clients often want to dive right into “fixing” sexual problems. Linda wisely takes a step back and asks people to explore simpler decisions. After all, purity culture’s rigid binary system increases the anxiety around the decision-making process. Identifying what you want sexually is really challenging when you’re not even sure how to decide what you want for dinner.

• What it’s like to have relationships with people who are “worried” about you (42:00): When a person leaves Evangelicalism, those within the community tend to worry about your wellbeing, and even your salvation. Linda describes her experiences of navigating this, and Jeremiah and Julia introduce a potential support group: Moms of Millenials Straying from the Church.

• How motherhood impacts sexuality (58:00): Linda describes how she talks about sexuality with her 19-year-old stepdaughter differently than she experienced in the church, and how parenting a newborn can introduce a new type of intimacy within the couple and family relationships.

Wherever you are in your journey toward sexual freedom, we hope that you can find comfort and healing in the power of telling and sharing stories.

Let’s heal together!