All In The Mind

The ick: dating, disgust and evolutionary psychology

Mar 8, 2025
In this engaging discussion, clinical psychologist Adam Horvath and couples counselor Jerry Karancis explore the intriguing phenomenon of 'the ick' in dating. They dissect how minor details, like a peculiar hat or quirky laugh, can suddenly turn attraction into aversion. The conversation dives into evolutionary psychology, examining how social and cultural factors shape our irrational dislikes. They also address the role of attachment styles and modern dating dynamics, shedding light on how these elements influence our romantic connections.
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ANECDOTE

The Fedora Incident

  • Michaela got the ick from a man's hat on his dating profile.
  • Despite trying to overcome it, the hat continued to bother her throughout their dates.
INSIGHT

The Ick Defined

  • The "ick" is a visceral feeling of cringe or disgust in early dating, distinct from red flags.
  • It's often irrational and superficial but can reveal insights into mate selection, attachment styles, and personal insecurities.
INSIGHT

Asymmetric Cost of Mating

  • Evolutionary psychology suggests women are more selective due to higher mating costs.
  • This "asymmetric cost of mating" may explain why women experience the "ick" more often, using it to deselect mismatches.
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