All In The Mind cover image

All In The Mind

The ick: dating, disgust and evolutionary psychology

Mar 8, 2025
In this engaging discussion, clinical psychologist Adam Horvath and couples counselor Jerry Karancis explore the intriguing phenomenon of 'the ick' in dating. They dissect how minor details, like a peculiar hat or quirky laugh, can suddenly turn attraction into aversion. The conversation dives into evolutionary psychology, examining how social and cultural factors shape our irrational dislikes. They also address the role of attachment styles and modern dating dynamics, shedding light on how these elements influence our romantic connections.
29:06

Podcast summary created with Snipd AI

Quick takeaways

  • The 'ick' is often a superficial reaction driven by personal biases rather than serious red flags, influencing dating decisions.
  • Evolutionary psychology suggests that women's sensitivity to the 'ick' helps them navigate mate selection, reflecting their higher emotional stakes.

Deep dives

Understanding The Ick

The 'ick' refers to the sudden feeling of cringe or disgust that can occur in the early stages of dating, essentially making a person feel repulsed by what may seem trivial. For example, one individual experienced the ick when she saw a potential match wearing hats she found unappealing, leading her to question if it was just a personal bias. This sensation is different from acknowledging red flags, as it often centers around superficial traits that might provoke a visceral reaction rather than any serious behavioral concerns. Exploring this phenomenon reveals the deeper psychological elements at play, hinting at issues related to mate selection and even attachment styles.

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