Nope! We're Not Monogamous The Anxious Person's Toolkit for Successful Non-Monogamous Connections with Lola Phoenix
Are you navigating the emotional landscape of non-monogamy? In this episode, I chat with Lola Phoenix, author of "The Anxious Person's Guide to Non-Monogamy", "The Non-monogamy Journal", and host of the "Non-Monogamy Help" podcast. We chat about the complexities of open relationships and how to build a toolkit for managing the intense emotions that often arise.
Key Insights:
- The importance of having a personal "anchor" in non-monogamous relationships
- Creating a self-care emergency protocol for challenging emotional moments
- Why traditional advice like "just go on a date night" might not always work
- How to approach STI discussions and boundaries in open relationships
- The value of community support in navigating non-monogamous lifestyles
We explore the concept of an "anchor" - a personal reason for choosing non-monogamy that goes beyond just keeping your current relationship intact. Lola explains why this is crucial for weathering the inevitable emotional storms that come with opening up a relationship.
A Peek Into the Episode:
"I think that anxiety is actually a pretty normal reaction for most people to their relationship opening. And I don't think that you necessarily have to be an anxious person to be super anxious when that's happening." ~Lola Phoenix
Lola challenges the notion that you can simply "research your way out of feelings" and offers practical advice for creating a self-care plan. We discuss the importance of writing down your strategies for managing difficult emotions, as your brain might not be in a learning state when you're feeling activated.
We also touch on the sometimes heartbreaking situations Lola encounters in their advice column, where non-monogamy isn't the real issue, but rather a symptom of deeper relationship problems.
Whether you're new to non-monogamy or a seasoned explorer, this conversation offers valuable perspectives on building healthier, more authentic relationships. Join us as we unpack the emotional complexities of open relationships and discover tools for creating more fulfilling connections.
Check out Lola's books and resources at nonmonogamyhelp.com, and stay tuned for their upcoming course on practical non-monogamy skills.
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Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar Lindstein
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