This podcast explores the psychology behind dating apps in your 20s, including the impact of choice overload, romantic preferences, and seeking validation. Lucille from Bumble joins to discuss maximizing dating app usage, converting matches into real connections, and dating outside your 'type'. The podcast also covers the genesis of Bumble, the value of actively participating in dating apps, and the importance of dating with intention.
The convenience and expanded options of dating apps have led to a shift in how we approach dating, as well as changed our behavioral patterns in real-life dating scenarios.
Our preferences on dating apps may be influenced by factors such as genetic imprinting theory, familiarity, similarity, and the desire for partners of similar attractiveness, emphasizing the need for flexibility.
Having too many options on dating apps can lead to choice overload and dating app burnout, which can be overcome by focusing on quality over quantity and actively engaging in real-life interactions.
Deep dives
Dating Apps as a Primary Way of Meeting People
Dating apps, such as Tinder, Hinge, and Bumble, have become one of the main ways people meet new individuals and form romantic connections, particularly in their 20s. A study by the Pew Research Center revealed that almost half of young adults between 18 and 29 have used a dating app. While there may be concerns about the variety of intentions and preferences on these apps, the way we approach dating apps can shape our experiences. The convenience and expanded options of dating apps have led to a shift in how we approach dating, as well as changed our behavioral patterns in real-life dating scenarios.
The Psychology of Preferences on Dating Apps
Dating apps have allowed us to be more specific with our preferences when it comes to age, height, race, and other factors. However, it is important to recognize that these preferences may not always accurately predict compatibility. Genetic imprinting theory suggests that we may subconsciously seek partners who resemble our parents, but this theory does not account for non-heterosexual relationships or intercultural relationships. Additionally, our preferences can also be influenced by familiarity, similarity, and the desire for partners of similar attractiveness. Research shows that our ideal partner preferences may change over time, emphasizing the need for flexibility when using dating apps.
The Paradox of Choice and Overcoming Dating App Burnout
The advent of dating apps has provided us with an abundance of choices, but having too many options can lead to choice overload and difficulty in making decisions. Research indicates that individuals who use swipe-based dating apps often meet fewer people and experience dating app burnout. This burnout can stem from seeking validation rather than genuine connections, as well as feeling overwhelmed by the vast number of potential matches. Overcoming dating app burnout involves recognizing the value of quality over quantity, setting clear intentions, and actively engaging in real-life interactions to move beyond the app and into meaningful connections.
The Skill of Dating and Making the Most of Being Single
Dating is a skill that can be developed through practice and experience. Being proactive and open to meeting different types of people can lead to growth and self-discovery. Going on dates, even if they may not lead to long-term connections, can provide valuable experiences, improve social skills, and boost confidence. It is important to remember that dating should be enjoyable and to have fun along the way. Additionally, taking advantage of features like Bumble BFF can help build platonic connections and expand social networks, while in-app speed dating offers a fun and efficient way to engage with potential matches.
Balancing Fate and Taking Action in Dating
Dating involves a combination of fate and action. While it is important to be proactive and engage in the process of dating, it is equally crucial to have faith in the possibility of meeting the right person through serendipity. Success in dating comes from a balance between actively participating in the search for connections and being open to unexpected opportunities. Dating with intention involves being clear about personal desires and boundaries, practicing good communication skills in conversations, and understanding that both rejection and serendipity play a role in the dating journey.
The new reality of dating in your 20s is that the majority of us who are single are on the dating apps. Tinder, Hinge and Bumble have completely changed how we approach dating by expanding our options, making dating convenient and accessible and are increasingly becoming the way many of us meet our partners. A study conducted by the Pew Research Centre found that almost half of us between 18 and 29 have used a dating app. Yet, this has also transformed a lot of our offline behaviours towards dating. In this episode we break down the psychology behind dating apps including:
The impact of choice overload
The psychology behind our romantic preferences
The scarcity effect
Seeking validation through dating apps
Dopamine and swipe based dating
Dealing with rejection and dating app burnout
We are also joined by the wonderful Lucille McCart from Bumble who discusses how we can use dating apps to their full potential in our 20s. She explains how we can convert our online matches into real world connections, why you should be the one asking people on dates and the benefit dating people outside of your 'type'. All of that a more. Listen now.