The Gentleman's Take

#14 The Evolutionary Psychology of What Women Really Want - Macken Murphy

Sep 4, 2025
Macken Murphy, an evolutionary psychology researcher and PhD candidate, discusses the surprising truths about what women actually desire in relationships. He debunks the myth of the macho ideal, revealing that balanced masculinity often wins out over extreme traits. They dive into how attractiveness shifts with age, the impact of hobbies like artistry on mate value, and the diminishing returns of wealth in attraction. Macken also highlights how personality can trump looks, and how certain historical factors can predict relationship stability.
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INSIGHT

Bond Is A Male Fantasy

  • James Bond appeals more to men's fantasies than women's actual preferences.
  • Macken Murphy says Bond signals competence, status, and dominance that men admire.
INSIGHT

Men Overestimate Masculinity Needs

  • Men overestimate how much women prefer extreme masculinity like huge muscles or full beards.
  • Women prefer moderate masculinity and balance over maximal masculine cues.
ADVICE

Train Sensibly, Don't Chase Extremes

  • Build a natural, healthy level of muscle; extreme bodybuilding is unnecessary for most men.
  • If you train sensibly (no exogenous substances) you’re unlikely to become 'too muscular' for women.
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