Using real words and accurate terminology when discussing serious topics with kids can help them have a clearer understanding of the situation and make appropriate associations.
Providing children with a framework for the conversation and connecting the scattered information helps alleviate confusion and helps children feel more secure and less frightened.
Deep dives
Having hard conversations with kids
The podcast discusses the challenges of having difficult conversations with children, particularly when it involves discussing serious topics like illness. The host shares a personal story of a tough day she had due to her husband's incurable cancer and the emotional impact it has on their family. The conversation shifts from the planned topic of talking to kids about money to addressing the husband's cancer and how to communicate it to their son. The host provides advice on using real words, giving a framework for the conversation, and being honest with children while considering their age and level of understanding.
Using real words and creating a framework
The podcast emphasizes the importance of using real words when discussing serious topics with kids, such as cancer and chemotherapy. By using accurate terminology, children can have a clearer understanding of the situation and make appropriate associations. The host suggests creating a framework for the conversation by preparing children for the discussion and explaining that they may have questions and different feelings. This approach helps children feel more informed and less confused or alone in the absence of information.
The impact of scattered information on kids
The podcast highlights the negative effects of children piecing together scattered information about a difficult situation. The host explains that when kids notice changes and emotions in their environment, it's crucial to provide them with a story or explanation that connects the dots and alleviates confusion. By quilting the pieces of information together, children feel more secure and can better process and understand the situation, rather than feeling overwhelmed or frightened by fragmented details.
Balancing truth and uncertainty
The podcast addresses the dilemma of how much truth to share with children about serious illnesses like cancer. The host acknowledges that there isn't a one-size-fits-all approach and encourages parents to consider their own values and the specific circumstances of the situation. While the truth should be shared, it is important to balance it with the uncertainty and ongoing research about the illness. The host advocates for being transparent, honoring children's questions, and providing ongoing support as the situation evolves.
Talking about illness or other hard topics with kids can be daunting. So it's understandable that you might want to put it off. But information doesn’t scare kids. It’s the lack of information that feels scary to them. In this conversation, Dr. Becky sits down with a mom who is struggling with how to have a hard conversation with her kids.
Get the Good Inside App by Dr. Becky: https://bit.ly/3LKlQou Follow Dr. Becky on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drbeckyatgoodinside Sign up for our weekly email, Good Insider: https://www.goodinside.com/newsletter Order Dr. Becky's book, Good Inside: A Guide to Becoming the Parent You Want to Be, at goodinside.com/book or wherever you order your books. For a full transcript of the episode, go to goodinside.com/podcast
To listen to Dr. Becky's TED Talk on repair visit https://www.ted.com/talks/becky_kennedy_the_single_most_important_parenting_strategy
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