Relationship Churning: The On-Again, Off-Again Cycle | Sarah Halpern-Meekin | #128

Relationship churning—the pattern of breaking up and getting back together with the same partner—affects nearly half of young adults and creates emotional whiplash for couples, children, and their support networks. Dr. Sarah Halpern-Meekin shares her groundbreaking research on this common relationship phenomenon, explaining why couples fall into these patterns and what it means for their wellbeing.

• Relationship churning comes in two main forms: breaking up and getting back together, and having sex with an ex
• Nearly half of young adults report churning in their current or most recent relationship
• Churning relationships show higher psychological distress, lower satisfaction, and worse communication, but surprisingly higher intimate self-disclosure
• Fathers in churning relationships stay more involved with their children than those who permanently break up
• Economic distress, incarceration history, and one-sided breakups increase likelihood of churning
• The key to healthy relationships includes investing time in connection, developing conflict management skills, and setting clear expectations
• Before reconciling after a breakup, ask if what caused the original breakup has actually changed

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