#15 What Do Men Fantasize About? (with Dr. Justin Lehmiller)

On episode 15 of the podcast, I chat with Dr. Justin Lehmiller, a social psychologist and Research Fellow at The Kinsey Institute. He is author of the blog Sex and Psychology and the popular book Tell Me What You Want: The Science of Sexual Desire and How It Can Help You Improve Your Sex Life. Dr. Lehmiller is an award-winning educator, having been honored three times with the Certificate of Teaching Excellence from Harvard University, where he taught for several years. He is also a prolific researcher who has published more than 50 academic works, including a textbook titled The Psychology of Human Sexuality that is used in college classrooms around the world. Dr. Lehmiller is a much sought-after voice in the media on sexuality research and education. He has been interviewed by The Wall Street Journal, The New York Times, and CNN, and he has appeared on dozens of international radio, podcast, and television programs. We discuss his research about fantasies and particularly about what men fantasize about, as well as how to healthy explore your desires.

Key Points:

- Dr. Lehmiller introduces his research

- The most common fantasies

- Differences between men's and women's fantasies

- Men's fantasies and pressure to be a certain way

- Shame about our fantasies

- The origin of sexual fantasies

- Underlying emotional needs

- Dr. Lehmiller's dial analogy

- Advice for exploring sexual fantasies

Relevant Links:

Dr. Lehmiller's website: www.lehmiller.com