How To Be a Terrible Daughter 022: No Contact II: The Quiet Place
So you finally did it. You went no contact. You broke out of the emotional prison your narcissist built, and now you are standing in the sunlight, blinking like a hostage released from a basement full of family heirlooms and gaslighting.
In this episode, we talk about what happens next. The emotional hangover, the logistical chaos, the sudden silence that feels both terrifying and euphoric. We get honest about the reality of going no contact, how no one does it lightly, and how keeping that boundary takes every ounce of strength you have.
Elizabeth shares what surprised them most after cutting contact, including how much energy it took just to hold the line when the narcissist tried to creep back in through cracks in the wall. We also talk about the importance of having a neutral, pre-set answer ready for those Flying Monkeys who come sniffing around with "concern" and subtle guilt trips.
Then we explore how trauma can turn everyday life into a minefield, why birthdays, holidays, and even old family photos can suddenly feel radioactive, and how it is okay to opt out of the traditions that hurt more than they heal.
We also dig into the process of rebuilding your identity after no contact. When you have spent a lifetime molding yourself to survive someone else's moods, figuring out what you actually like can feel both thrilling and confusing. But it is the good kind of confusion, the kind that comes with freedom.
Elizabeth brings this week's Crazy Mom-Off featuring whispering hauntings from the narcissist beyond, plus a real-time tool for grounding when your nervous system starts hosting a family reunion you never agreed to. Megan shares a confusing story she is still unpacking and a trick she has been using to quiet her inner critic, especially the one that tries to ruin reading time.
We close with the reminder that yes, breaking family barriers can feel like being cut by glass, but it is still better than being slowly poisoned for years.
Because no contact is not the end of your story, it is the part where you finally start living your own.
Thank you for joining us here for a brand-new season of the podcast! If you haven't already, don't forget to subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube or your favorite podcast app to make sure you get new episodes as soon as they drop. Unlike the narcissist in your life, we'd love to hear your stories and how they affected you. Email us or DM us on Instagram, @terribledaughterpod or at H2Bterrible@gmail.com!
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What We Cover In This Episode:
● What you can do to start managing the emotional and logistical aftermath of going no contact with the narcissist and finally escape from the prison they've created for you [3:19]
● Elizabeth's inner experience after going no contact and what surprised them the most after doing it [9:15]
● The importance of having a neutral, pre-set answer to protect yourself from gaslighting and guilt when dealing with those pesky "flying monkeys" [14:29]
● What really happens when trauma weaponizes normal life and why holidays, birthdays and even childhood memories can become terrifying triggers [23:11]
● How to approach rebuilding from scratch after no contact by intentionally creating space and time to discover your true self and preferences [25:05]
● The reason why breaking family barriers can feel like "being cut by glass" [spoiler alert: it's much better than being poisoned for years] [42:30]
● Elizabeth's Crazy Mom Off story featuring haunting whispers from a narcissist, and a demonstration of a real-time tool that helps them cope and thrive [44:44]
● A confusing story Megan is still processing and a tool she's been using to overcome her inner critic while reading books [51:38]
Links & Resources:
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Speak No Evil (2024 Remake) and Speak No Evil (Original)