What The Military Taught Me About Success • Sergio Nazzaro

Sergio Nazzaro a performance coach from Denver shares his experience gained as a soldier in Afghanistan and his transition into a real estate agent. Next, Sergio explains the principal is using from the military rules like serving clients in very high lever and correctness, and how an agent should be the eye for the transactions and have the ability to manage stress in order to deal with the client in a proper way. Last, Sergio discusses the importance of setting the boundaries from the beginning in relation to clients.

Please check out Sergio’s “The Sergio Nazzaro podcast” here.

If you’d prefer to watch this interview, click here to view on YouTube!

Sergio Nazzaro can be reached at (303) 324-7641 and Sergio@8z.com.

This episode is brought to you by Real Geeks.

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Transcript

D.J. Paris 0:00
Have you ever noticed that veterans who become realtor’s ended up doing really, really well? And you might wonder why is that we’re going to find out today. Stay tuned. This episode of Keeping it real is brought to you by real geeks. How many homes are you going to sell this year? Do you have the right tools? Is your website turning soft leads and interested buyers? Are you spending money on leads that aren’t converting? Well real geeks is your solution. Find out why agents across the country choose real geeks as their technology partner. Real geeks was created by an agent for agents. They pride themselves on delivering a sales and marketing solutions so that you can easily generate more business. There agent websites are fast and built for lead conversion with a smooth search experience for your visitors. Real geeks also includes an easy to use agent CRM. So once a lead signs up on your website, you can track their interest and have great follow up conversations. Real geeks is loaded with a ton of marketing tools to nurture your leads and increase brand awareness visit real geeks.com forward slash keeping it real pod and find out why Realtors come to real geeks to generate more business again, visit real geeks.com forward slash keeping it real pod and now on to our show

Hello, and welcome to another episode of Keeping it real the largest podcast made by real estate agents and for real estate agents. My name is DJ Paris. I am your guide and host through the show and in just a moment. We’re going to be speaking with top producer Sergio bizarro, before we get to Sergio just a couple Oh, actually just one one announcement to to to broadcast. And it is about social media. So we actually have an Instagram account now as well as Tik Tok. And we are on all the social channels including LinkedIn, YouTube, Facebook, Instagram, and probably a couple of others. But we specifically are now on Instagram. So you can find us top agent interviews again, top agent interviews and every single day or weekday I don’t do it on the weekends. But on the weekdays, we post short form video clips from our episodes that were you know, important moments, memorable moments, something that you could actually use in your sort of daily scrolling through social media. So please follow us. Tell us what you think about these video clips top agent interviews on Instagram and again you can find us everywhere on social media just search for the keeping it real podcast and hit that subscribe button and also please tell a friend about the show. Think of one other realtor that you know that’s struggling right now send them a link to our website or our podcast and we would appreciate it Alright guys, let’s get to the main event my conversation with Sergio bizarro.

Okay, today on the show, my guest is Sergio and bizarro with eight z real estate in Denver. Let’s tell you more about Sergio. Sergio is a real estate agent and performance coach from Denver, Colorado. He graduated from the Air Force Academy and served as an officer for six years and after getting out of the military and obtaining his MBA, he quickly realized his project management experience his digital marketing skills, his business education and his negotiation skills placed him in a unique position to excel in the representation of buyers and sellers throughout the home buying and selling process. Sergio is now on a mission to help entrepreneurs have it all in their marriage, their health and their business. Please follow Sergio on Instagram, which is at Sergio dot Nizar, that is NA ZZ aro we will have a link to that in the show notes. And also check out Sergios website where you can listen to his podcast and also consider becoming one of his coaching clients, which has become the standard dot live become the standard dot live. There’s a link to that as well in the show notes. Sergio, super excited to have you.

Sergio Nazzaro 4:26
Thank you for having me today. I really appreciate it, man. That’s quite the intro.

D.J. Paris 4:31
Well, I’ll tell you, you know, this is going to be I put a lot of energy into the intro because as a podcast host yourself. I don’t have to work as hard today. So I am really excited, because I just did my heavy lifting. Seriously, I love talking to people who have podcasts because Well number one, the conversation tends to be, you know, just more fluid and natural. But also, you know, just when people come on our show, I’m talking talking to the audience for a second. When people come on our show we ask them some questions. Just so we have some prompts of, of things to say in case the conversation lols. And we just need to fill some time or transition to a new topic. Sergio has some amazing ones, and I never ever get to them in my show. So we are going to make sure we get to some of these before the end of the show. But let’s start. Let’s start at the very beginning. And I’d love to know how you got into real estate and why real estate?

Sergio Nazzaro 5:22
Yeah, there’s, it’s, it’s interesting. So when I got into the military, I had just got back from Afghanistan. And I decided, well, I don’t know what I want to do with my life, I’m gonna go get my MBA, which that’s why most people get it. And so I’m using the GI Bill which pays for school, the government pays for school. And then they also give you a housing allowance to pay for your your your rent every month. Well, there’s a gap between my summer semester and my fall semester, it’s three weeks long. And the only way that I can make rent is I have to find a class to take. So I decide, well, let’s get this real estate license, I want to buy a house at some point. So I get my real estate license. And it’s a three week class, I finally get the money I need for my rent, I get my license. And I don’t do anything with it for a little while. Because it took a while for me to realize why I got it right. There’s always been like this little bit of a calling, right? I joined the military to serve people on a larger scale. I got my real estate license because of what happened to my parents when I was a kid. And so like there’s just this perfect storm that came together. And that’s why I got it.

D.J. Paris 6:28
Well, first, thank you for your service to this country and six years of service, if not more time altogether. That is more than Admiral and respectable. And on behalf of the audience, of course, we think thank you for keeping us safe. curious to hear the parents story. Tell us tell us I hope it’s not too tragic of a story as I’m laughing. I hope it’s not. But I’m interested to hear sort of what happens. So that turns you into, you know, we’re a real estate agent.

Sergio Nazzaro 7:00
Yeah, listen, just to kind of see the preface this, like, I’m really grateful that it happened. So it is a little tragic. But it all worked out. You know, we I grew up in New Jersey, and my parents moved down to Texas, and I was right around 12 years old. And we were living down there. And my parents decided that they wanted to plant some roots there and buy a home. So they find this new bill, they meet up with this real estate agent, and at the time it was stated income to get your loan. And for those of you who don’t know what that means, it means you just tell the bank how much you make. And then they’re like, Hey, we’re gonna give you money. That’s how we got into this HomeTrust. Yeah, he looked like a trustable person, let’s just here take all this money. And so they, they’re going to buy this home, and they have to qualify at a certain income level. Well, they don’t make that much money. And so the real estate agent tells him Listen, nobody’s going to check, just say that you make this much and everything will be okay. Why don’t they do some employee verification. And both my parents get fired from their job. Oh, we lose the house that we were about to get in, we had already put in notification on the rental. And so we ended up homeless for three months. Oh my gosh, it was because of that, that my parents, they’re like, Okay, hey, you and your sister need to go to your grandparents home in New Jersey for the summer. Your mom and I are gonna figure this out. And we’re gonna move to Colorado. And so I’ll never forget, it was the first time I ever watched my mom console my dad, because of what happened. And as a 12 year old boy, looking at your dad crying one, there’s something really great about watching your father be able to express those emotions, but

D.J. Paris 8:36
not as a 12 year old. Adult looking back. Yeah. 100 like hindsight, 20 as a 12 year old, that’s gotta be terrifying. It was

Sergio Nazzaro 8:45
and you just feel so helpless as to like, what’s going on. And because of that, because of that one moment. That’s the reason I had to join the military. That’s the reason I had to try to get into the Air Force Academy because my parents could afford college. I had one option. And it really was a domino that has said everything else in my life down this amazing path.

D.J. Paris 9:08
Wow. Well, I am. That is an incredibly unfortunate story about what happened to your family. I obviously, you know, things things have all worked out for you in particular, and has led you to this path. And it’s like, you know, sometimes the gift of these tragedies there’s there’s this gift that sort of shows up later. But seriously, a terrible terrible story there and but also a good reminder to everyone listening about why being ethical and honest is just the only only way to go because you don’t just possibly, you know, damage your own career or your license or, you know, you’re you’re hurting families. If you you know, there’s anyway, but I am. I am yeah, I’m sad to hear that but obviously, you know, it’s funny, you know, you Talk about being in the military, which is a service position, right? It’s like in the very nature of the job. And real estate, I feel is a service industry as well. So I’m curious. Well, there’s a lot of things. Of course, I’m sure you learned in the military discipline, structure, you know, lots of things that I wouldn’t know about, like you do. I’m curious on what you learned in the military, how it ended, ultimately ended up ends up serving you today? Are you taking some of those lessons and skills and bringing them into the real estate game?

Sergio Nazzaro 10:30
Oh, absolutely. I think just high level, right? Just a general sense of core values, right? The Airforce, right integrity, first service before self and excellence. And all we do. And I’ve tried to encapsulate that in the way I’ve run my business, like, I will talk you out of a home, if it’s a bad financial investment, right, I need to be able to put my head down at night knowing that we made the right decisions, right. And yet there is this pursuit that I’m on to be the absolute best at what I do to serve my clients at the highest level doesn’t mean I don’t make mistakes. But I’m definitely doing that. And so there was those core values that really became part of my DNA. And I took those into this industry, because I feel like it’s lacking quite a bit. And you’ve seen this influx of agents. Now there’s like, kind of like a bunch of agents getting out. But you saw this influx of agents getting in when the market was hot, and things were easy. Well, the barrier to entry to this thing is really low. And so when you have that, there’s not a whole lot of like people holding each other accountable, except for some of these boards. And even that’s debatable. So I brought that in. And I think the other part about this is like this job, there is nobody watching you. There’s nobody telling you to wake up, there’s nobody telling you to make the phone calls, there’s nobody telling you how to get the business. I mean, you need coaches, but the end of the day, it’s you. And so what I took from that is like, cool, I have the discipline that I need, that I had in the military, and I can carry some of those foundational frameworks into this career and simply in taking that. And then run project management skills. When I was in office in the Air Force, like I’m leaps and bounds above everybody, because I’ve simply just taken that and applied that to, to this.

D.J. Paris 12:11
Well, you know, the one the one thing that that I know, we want to talk about, which I think complements what you just said, is about stress management. And I know this is a really important topic for you, and I am I’m simpatico with you I absolutely believe I went through a home buying experience a few years ago, and I’m in this industry, and it wasn’t my first home that I purchased. So you’d think I’d be like pretty used to the experience, although I haven’t done it that many times. But just being around the industry, you think I would know, it’s sort of how it goes. And I was completely up and down throughout the process. And it wasn’t all that complicated of a sale. There weren’t a lot of, you know, sort of pitfalls along the way, or the stumbling blocks or whatever, it literally went pretty smooth, and I was still completely out of my mind stress. So I came out of that experience going, Gosh, you know, people don’t really talk about the stress management of it, the management of for the agent themselves to handle their own emotions, and then also to how to, you know, reduce the distress level of their clients when those challenges happen. And I’m so glad that you want to talk about this because it doesn’t

Unknown Speaker 13:22
your business?

Sergio Nazzaro 13:25
So you broke up there for a quick second.

D.J. Paris 13:27
But sorry, I was saying about stress management, like what is stress management mean to you? And how do you apply that in your business?

Sergio Nazzaro 13:34
Yeah, I think the way I look at this as like as the as the professional in this transaction, you are the eye, you are the quarterback, you’re making sure that everything is working together. And if you as the agent don’t have the ability to manage your stress, how can you bring the power and the capacity that is required to make the space for your clients in a stressful situation, and to handle this without getting caught up in all of the emotion and the money and the potential emotions of the other agent or the seller or the buyer on the other side? And so I think it really starts with the skill set, have you been able to manage yourself and lead yourself through stressful situations, being able to recognize what those are put yourself in the best possible position to handle it so that you can lead your clients? And I think a lot of times, right, I just had experience today. Agents have no fucking boundaries in their business. They’re rude. I’m getting calls at like 10pm and I’m asleep. So I don’t answer calls after seven right. So my Do Not Disturb goes on. People are trying to write offers at 10pm and like get the hell out of here. Right like one you’re not allowing your clients to make a a decision when they’re in the best frame of mind. Nobody wants to make a decision at 10pm at night and to how are you showing up as an agent at 10 o’clock at night. And so there is this stress management where like you have to be thoughtful about the boundaries you’ve set your daily habits and routines, and then you have to be compact it enough to know that stress is part of this industry. That is why we get paid a lot of money. And I would argue sometimes we get overpaid for what we do, right. And so like stress management is one of the best tools that you need to have because you have to deliver that to your clients. And you also have to let them know that it’s going to be stressful. But your job is to mitigate as much of that as can by providing clarity.

D.J. Paris 15:22
Yeah, it reminds me I was recently I use the calm app for meditation. And I was, yeah, it’s a nice little app. And they’re all these courses throughout it. And gosh, I I’m like the worst person to talk about sports figures, because I don’t remember who this is one of the best, maybe LeBron James, I think it’s LeBron James, he has a course in there, which I didn’t know anything about him other than his name, I don’t, you know, I know. He’s like one of the very greatest of all time. And so I was like, I’ll take his course, he’s the greatest of all time, he’s probably got some wisdom, and the very first, and I didn’t, you know, I didn’t know, he was even a meditator, whatever, and I’m barely a meditator. But I was taking the course. And he was talking about state management at the very, very first lesson. And he was saying that all of this teammates on any, you know, any team he’s played for, he’s like, one of the big things we focus on is how to maintain sort of a level of calm when chaos is happening. And obviously, on the basketball court, chaos is always happening. And especially like, emotions can flare, people get punched, it hurt, you know, people bump into each other, and then you get a want to get angry and, and lash out or you get a bad call or whatever, you get tripped. And he was saying, we are taught to just not react and to learn how to manage our stress in our states. You were talking about how does the agent show up at at 10? o’clock? How does the client show up at 10? o’clock? You know, yeah, probably not? Well, unless you’re one of those strange people where that’s like your prime time to work. But most of us aren’t wired for that. And so I, at 46 years old, I never thought about stress management, with respect to how important it is for performance. I just thought, you know, and he was like, yeah, he was I literally don’t have access to certain resources. If I’m angry. He’s like, I can’t be my best basketball, I can’t be the best basketball player if I’m angry, or if I’m scared, or if I’m sad. And so he talked about like, and I was like, that’s so simple. It’s not easy. But it’s, it’s, it’s really important, because you’re right, the agent needs to show up as the professional and be the adult in the room and sort of just, I’m can weather the storms. Right?

Sergio Nazzaro 17:24
Yeah. And I think Listen, I have a very unique perspective on stress after being deployed to Afghanistan. And I hold that in a very special spot in my heart. And in my mind, because stress is all relative, right doesn’t mean what I experienced, you know, in combat was not, are more or less stressful than what somebody experiences with, with death, divorce or buying a home. It’s all relative to the individual. Sure, however, talking about state management, and your ability as a creator, to create the state that you know, you operate the best in all comes from stress management. So if you’re working on a, it doesn’t really matter, right? A $200,000 condo or a $200 million multimeter, whatever it is, your ability to manage stress in your state, as you show up to those is what sets you apart from everybody else.

D.J. Paris 18:16
Yeah. Yeah, it’s it’s so absolutely true. And it’s it’s a practice, right. It’s not a switch that you flip and go Well, now I’m now I’m calm, cool and collected, no matter what’s happening around me or within me. It’s a practice. It’s a discipline. And the military obviously teaches this, I’m sure you were taught stress management in the Air Force. And just an incredible important skill, because of course, in combat, again, I’ve not been there. So I can’t speak to what the experience is like, but I would assume being calm, cool and collected is critical for survival for success of the mission. I assume it’s just number one in the priority list. Because if you’re not, if you’re not in a in a controlled state, then you may be subject to someone else’s controlled state, which might be the enemy on the other side who wishes harm.

Sergio Nazzaro 19:08
Absolutely. And, you know, as we’re talking about stress, there’s this other aspect of like, What do most agents have stressed with right now? Finding business? Yeah, lack of leads, lack of leads. And so let’s kind of like play this situation out, right? Yeah. When you don’t have business coming in and your stress starts to build. Right now you’re starting to have stress within the household right now. Maybe you’re speaking to your partner, a little bit sharp tongue because you’re stressed. Now maybe your kids feel it a little bit more. Right now your relationship with yourself, right? Like maybe now you’re having like, chest problems right now. Maybe you’re not you’re not sleeping well. And so all of this stress is starting to build. And so when a lead does come in, and they’re like, Damn, you’re frazzled as all hell, like I don’t want to work with you. Right? You miss out on the opportunity that presented itself. And so stress management, right like you mentioned is a daily practice. And it’s not just a switch, because if it was, we would all be super Zen and calm. But we’re not. We’re all running around fucking crazy. And I think that’s, that’s a really important thing because like, if you can manage your stress, when things are hard, your ability to manage your stress when things are good, will allow you to get more opportunities from those opportunities.

D.J. Paris 20:23
100% agree, and I think you said something at the very beginning about boundaries, which ties into this, which is, every agent should know when they are, you know, working at their best their natural sort of rhythm of their body and their mind, what parts of the day, the evening, the morning, which parts where are you at your your peak, you know, where you can actually you’re firing on all cylinders, you’re calm, your collected, but your your your productive. And if it’s not 10 o’clock at night, then maybe taking phone calls at 10 o’clock at night are replying and even a text messages. It’s really easy to do at 10 o’clock, because you’re sitting there watching TV or going to bed, but maybe not the best option. And also this idea of like, what are you? What are you teaching your clients, if you’re letting them message you at 10 o’clock, if you don’t want that if you want that fine. But if you don’t have a boundary people again, especially with text messages is a really great a great point. Because text messages really don’t end they start, but the conversation never really concludes. Right? And so there isn’t an a natural ending to this sort of interaction. So people just feel well, I’ll send them a message. And then, you know, if you reply right away, then, you know, sort of the assumption is that the next time that message comes in, you also reply right away, or at least, you know, maybe quicker than you would want to prefer. So let’s let’s talk about boundaries a little bit. What how do you how do you set boundaries around your business and your clients and what works best for you?

Sergio Nazzaro 21:53
Oh, yeah, great question. I think my business didn’t take off until I started to have boundaries. Like it really didn’t hit like a high like elite level until I started to create boundaries. And I think a lot of agents, myself included at the time were afraid to talk about boundaries, because they were trying to introduce them too late. And so your client has these expectations of like, well, we’ve been communicating. And now you’re just going to stop. And so I think the only reason that boundaries aren’t going to be effective or work is if you are not clear about them, and you don’t communicate them at the right time. So whenever I meet with a client, one of the things that we conclude the initial buyer’s consultation or listing consultation with is my working hours. And I tell them, right, like, I start my day at 830. And I will respond no later than 7pm. You can text me at seven o’clock, you will not get a response from me until 830 The next day. Oh, and by the way, I also don’t work Sundays. So if something comes up on a Sunday, you can talk to my assistant, right, but I will not be part of the transaction, I will get back to you on Monday. And so they get that they hear it, I follow up with an email letting them know, but I also say listen, you can text me, after seven, you can text me at 2am I don’t care. My phone’s on Do Not Disturb I’m I’m gonna get it. But if you have to get something off your chest or something pops up, go ahead and send it but just know that these are my working hours and 100% of the time. People are like, Okay, thank you. Do people be like, well, we want you know what, if we want to work past six, I was like, Do you think clearly after a long day’s of work, or a long day of work? Like not really as like cool, then let’s not make decisions and put yourself in a position that’s going to increase the stress for you. And so you put it back on the client. And now they’re like, I like this, you’re in control?

D.J. Paris 23:39
Well, and being also you’re not, you know, the setting the boundaries thing is important. Because you’re not just saying, here are my rules. You’re saying, here are my rules. And here’s why I have these rules. And here’s why it’s even good for you, Mr. or Mrs. client that I have these roles. So you’re not just saying hey, you know this, it’s my way or the highway too bad. You’re saying it’s, it’s my way, it’s not my way or the highway. It’s this is I can’t perform at my best at this time. And you you’ve set the expectation ahead of time so that they know the rules. And like you said I was going to ask you what percentage of the time I knew you. I hope so. But you’re gonna go there because you did. And I was hoping it was 100% because I’m like, you know, we all can appreciate and respect boundaries when they are set up ahead of time. If they’re reasonable. If they’re not reasonable, then yeah, maybe you’ll have a problem. But you know, you just set it in such a way that I can’t imagine anyone ever saying wow. And by the way, if they don’t like your boundaries, they’ll choose another agent that just won’t be you. And that’s okay.

Sergio Nazzaro 24:39
100%. And so that was my initial fears like, well, what if they choose somebody else? And my wife, she goes, Yeah, but those aren’t the people you want to work with. And I was like, damn, good point, Lizzie. And so like, that’s the truth. Like, imagine the people that don’t respect your boundaries. And now they’re texting you at 10pm How is that going to increase your stress? And then how does that impact the other clients that you have? How does that impact their experience? Or how does that impact your stress levels to try and get new business, like these boundaries are really important because it’s a slippery slope that can impact your other clients or your future business.

D.J. Paris 25:17
So we’re talking about really SOP standard operating procedures and having having some sort of rules of engagement, right. So this is what I do. This is what I don’t do, here’s what I’m available. Here’s what I’m not, here’s what I’m capable of. And here’s why. And not just here’s how it is, here’s how it is and why it’s the way it is. And it’s to your benefit, Mr. And Mrs. client that it is this way. And that is really hard to argue with, as you said, 100% 100% agreement on that, from clients. So clearly, it’s working. And, you know, just incredible. And I think a lot of agents, again, this is a structure, conversation, it’s having structure, having these these rules, these these sort of, you know, procedures that that you’ve as the individual agent have set up, and you’re right, this industry doesn’t naturally sort of allow for that, or promote that, because agents are kind of in their own silo, most of the time, it’s just them, they’re probably working from home, they really have no accountability, you know, unless they’re in a group or they have a coach or, or something. And boy, I will tell you, if you are somebody that is struggling out you, Sergio, because obviously you’re incredibly disciplined yourself, but you’re a coach, so you can appreciate this. Having having if you somebody that struggles with accountability, finding accountability partner, getting a coach even better, is really going to be the key to taking you to the next level. And it’s okay to be the person that wakes up and goes, I’m not good at like starting my day and knowing what to do like that’s totally honest, reasonable. And by the way, most of us are that way. So it’s not even unusual. But if you are that person, I had to do this with the gym. Two and a half years ago, I was 40 in my early 40s. And I was like, I don’t go to the gym, and I was ashamed of that. I was like I should go, I should want to go on my own. Well, I finally was like, I guess I’m just going to have to get a trainer because I know if I pay for something, I’m going to use it. And I started doing that. And here I am almost three years later, haven’t missed a session. And it’s not because I like going to the gym. I don’t. But I go there because I have accountability. It’s the only thing that works for me. Does it cost me a little bit extra money? Yeah, but I mean, I’m in the best shape I’ve ever been. Because I set up the structure. So if you’re somebody who struggles like this, get an accountability partner, or even better hire a coach, and you have a coaching program and a business. So let’s let’s talk about the coaching since we can talk about right now. And then I want to jump into social media. But yes, about become the standard.

Sergio Nazzaro 27:42
Listen, I, my my first best year in real estate that I had was probably my third year ever, and I sold 52 homes, right around 35 $35 million in volume. Incredible. And I got to the end of the year, and I can say without a doubt that I was a professional success in a personal failure. My wife looked at me and we were struggling, we had to get into couples therapy we had called our wedding. I was hanging out with my parents and you know, they would say things like, dude, like you’re in the room, but you’re not in the room like, cuz I’m always on my phone, I was always doing something else and like to hear those things hit me right in the fucking face. I was like, damn, this is just like, This is not who I was meant to be. And I know a lot of real estate agents struggle with this. I know a lot of entrepreneurs struggle with this, right? Like, you’re going down this thing you’re trying to become you’re trying to make this money. It’s addictive. Like I get it, you’re trying to become you’re running your own business. And then you have a relationship. And then you have kids maybe and you’re trying to take care of your health. There’s all of these things going on. And so a lot of times we let things fall by the wayside, and we focus on one, maybe two, usually it’s your body. And then the other part of your business. It’s usually where people fall into. And I just started thinking, right, like, I got a coach. And he’s like, Well, what if you can have it all? And then what do you mean? He’s like, Well, what if you can have it all? What if you can have the business that you want the relationship that you want with your wife and your kids, you could have a connection with yourself where you can make decisions with confidence, knowing that you’re moving yourself in the right directions. And that it no matter what age you had an elite body, I was like, oh, that sounds great. And so I’ve been down this path of working on that for a long time. And so now I’m setting up my own company to do the same thing. And that’s simply to teach entrepreneurs how to have it all in their life because what I found is that when the your relationships with yourself, your spouse, your kids, and your fitness are all on point, your business will take care of itself. And what I found is once I was able to get aligned on those and not perfect I want to be very clear on that. Like I still have my struggles. But once I was able to get aligned on those was the first time I made a million dollars in a year.

D.J. Paris 29:53
That’s incredible. And I it’s not it’s not shocking, but it is awesome to hear and I like hearing these kind of success stories repeated. Because we do tend to focus in these compartmentalized ways, right? We focus on our health, and we get to the gym and we, we get our body in order, or we, you know, we work on these little sort of one offs. They’re important, but we don’t sort of see it holistically as easily. As we can see, I don’t go to the gym, and I need to focus on that. Versus like, well, if I did go to the gym, how would that impact my business? How would it impact my relationships? How would I be able to show up for my children or my wife, or, you know, my friends, my co workers, my clients, right? There is a lot of benefit to getting everything in line. And I do believe that balances is impossible, but you can get close. And if you can just get close to being in balance. Boy, you’re right, you’re well, I mean, look, you’re living proof you you went from unbelievable. And by the way, 35 million in your third year is insane in and of itself. But you said it came at a cost, right? It was like, That is a huge metric of success. For anyone listening to the show. I bet 99.9% of our listeners didn’t achieve that level of production in their third year. But maybe you wouldn’t want to, if it means you’re going to, you know, other things are going to suffer. So this is really I can’t, I could not agree with you more. Getting in alignment and taking care of it’s it’s I learned this from Brian Tracy a million years ago. And he just said two words, he goes, everything counts, like everything counts. So you better you better pay attention to everything.

Sergio Nazzaro 31:34
100%. And you know, I think, you know, you talk about balance, I would, I would challenge you on that. Because if it’s in balance, that means it’s in stagnation. And if it’s in stagnation, it means it’s one step away from either going backwards, but it’s probably not going to go forward. And so it’s semantics, but it is important. And so when you think about how all of these impact each other, I just want to make this like final connection on this, right? Like, the way you take care of your body and working out and your nutrition. When you look in the mirror, right before you get to the shower, you’re looking at the mirror naked, you’re like, damn, I like the way I look. Then you go take your shower, now you’re going on a meeting, and you show up and you feel like I feel good in my skin. I feel good in what I’m wearing your clients feel this magnetic energy, there’s this presence, you’ve elevated, everyone’s like, I don’t know what it is about you. But I’m attracted to it and not attracted to it in like a sexual way. But attracted to it. Like there’s something about you that I want to I want to work with. Yeah. And so when you do those, go ahead, no, go, No, I don’t have to go right ahead. And so you know, part of that is like cool. You’ve worked on your body. But there’s always been situations where you know, I’m getting ready to go on a listing consultation, and my wife and I get into a fight. Right before we’re on the way out. And I’m like, damn it, I’m gonna perfect timing. Great. Thanks, right, because that, you know, on that, so I’m blaming her, even though it’s her fault. However, think about what your relationship, you guys are connected, and you’re supporting one another, and your kids are looking at you. And they’re like, Mom, Dad, I love you. Right. And now you also have the body aspect of it. And now you go on that meeting, knowing that your home life has taken care of that you can show up to that with confidence. Oh, and by the way, when you have that connection on who you are, as an individual, those boundaries that we talked about are really easy to put in play because you know what you stand for. And so your business is impacted by all of these things, all of them. And if you don’t have the money in your business, then none of this other shit matters, because you can’t live the life that you want. And so it’s this, really, you have to look at it from all these different ways. But it’s really important to get these things moving forward together. And the only way to do that is to get clarity on what you want.

D.J. Paris 33:46
Yeah, and then there are systems to assist with making it not so manual for every part of your life, right? There are coaches you can hire, there are people that can help you manage finances, manage your body, manage nutrition, there are there are systems, thank God, we don’t have to come up with all of this ourselves. We can employ people, we can read books, we can attend seminars, we can, we can learn and it’s hard. But it’s the worthy endeavor because for the rest of my life, I’m going to be pushing a boulder up up the mountain every day. That’s just the deal. Like, that’s how it goes. Every time I go to the gym, I got a lift, and it’s even make it like a really easy metaphor, like I got to push really, really I got to be willing to go into some physical pain, to be able to get more muscle growth. That’s just the way the body works. And the same thing works in every other area of the life. If you can just get through that pain of this is uncomfortable. This hurts. If it’s going to lead you to a more balanced perspective, a balanced life like you were saying, If I couldn’t pay my mortgage next month, and I hope to God that isn’t the case. But let’s just say it was I wouldn’t be able to show up here for this interview very present in a very present way I would be terrified. Oh my god, how am I gonna pay my bills. I wouldn’t be able to do a good job interviewing you or if I was a practicing realtor, I wouldn’t be able to pry probably do a good job for my clients, I’d be so worried about that commission, not paying, you know, not coming in. So all of these things, everything counts. And this is why this is why getting a coach is so important because a coach can actually help you, in all of these areas figure out you don’t have to do it all. You don’t have to suffer alone, you can actually have somebody who has some wisdom, some guidance. And by the way, Wouldn’t you love to be coached by somebody who did 35 million in his third year, even if it was totally out of balance, like, Don’t you just want to know how to do that, like Sergio is the guy. But I’m gonna switch gears because I want everybody to consider by the way, reaching out to Sergio because he is he is he is the man, go to his website, become the standard dot live fill out a form, his team is going to contact you to see if you’d be a good fit for his coaching programs, listen to his podcast, as well become the standard. We’ll have links to that all in the show notes. You are a big social media guy. So I’m going to switch gears just for a moment. And I want to talk about the role of social media, that for realtors, what you found that’s been working, maybe mistakes you see agents making. So let’s talk about social media tell us how that applies to your business.

Sergio Nazzaro 36:09
The way I look at this is right, like it’s all leverage. When I first got in, it was like you got to cold call, you got to door knock, you got to do all this. And I was like, I tried it. And in the first seven months, I was like, I haven’t sold a single home. And none of this seems to be working. Right? Okay. Not that there’s not value to making phone calls. But I just I couldn’t keep up with the pace. And so I saw social media and I was like, Listen, you can put up these posts, it gets 100 likes or you put up this video and it gets 2000 views. I started to ask myself, would I ever make 2000 phone calls in a day?

D.J. Paris 36:45
I think it will be a long day. Be a long day.

Sergio Nazzaro 36:48
Right? You want to talk about being on balance? Right? And so I saw the leverage there. And I was like, Cool. Well, why is this so important to me, because people love stories. They love your story. They love your client story. They love information that’s delivered in an in a fun way. Social media is a really powerful tool, because it allows you to control whatever it is that you want to control and how you put it out there. It allows people to connect with you build trust with you that know like and trust becomes really easy when you not only just talk about real estate, but you allow them to see part of your life. And so the moment I started really getting into into creating content on a regular basis, nothing happened for 18 months. And then the year after that I got 24 deals from Instagram. And I was like, huh, I didn’t pay for a single ad. All I paid for was editing and distribution of my content.

D.J. Paris 37:41
Yeah, it’s all good, because the time and energy it took and I’m sorry, I missed how many months before you got your first deal for 1818? And then you got 24 deals that following year or that next 12 months? Yeah, well, those results clearly speak for themselves. How often were you posting and what type of content Did you find worked best for your audience?

Sergio Nazzaro 38:06
Yeah, so I think people want to see you. There is this speaker that came to our conference. Her name’s Chelsea pizza, go follow her on Instagram. She’s a really good coach. She said your brand is not a house. Nobody really gives a shit about your under contracts or your new listings or anything like that. Yes, you should promote them. But that’s not what’s gonna get them to like you. Because you DJ are not just a real estate agent, right? You’re, you’re more than that. And so people want to know what you like to do. I like to snowboard mountain bike, go to concerts, right like to be outside. I’ve done more listing and buyer’s consultations, mountain biking and skiing than I’ve done, like in an actual office setting. And so people are able to connect with me, I let them see a glimpse into my life. And so I think it’s really just about telling my story and then also telling my clients story through video.

D.J. Paris 38:56
Got it? So curious. So now a question I’m, I’m hearing these ghost questions coming in from from our listeners. And hopefully this is this is one that that I think a lot of our listeners might be having, which is, you know, this concern of, I’m afraid to show too much of myself on social because I want to keep certain things private. And I see agents that just, I’m at the gym. Now I’m at Starbucks. Now I’m doing all of these things. Now I’m with my kids. Here’s my dog. Curious. And again, everyone’s sort of, you know, the barometer for what everyone wants to share is different for each person. But how do you think about what you were willing to share and what you want to keep just for you and your family?

Sergio Nazzaro 39:39
The way I look at this is all of the things that have been in my life

can be a beacon of light to somebody else. And so the path I’ve chosen is I’m pretty much a open book that feels comfortable to me, right I feel comfortable talking about my struggles in my marriage that we used to have, I feel comfortable talking about the success that I’ve had, I used to be really afraid to talk about that. I feel comfortable sharing things about, you know, vacations I’m going on, or what I’m doing in the morning at the gym, all of those feel very natural to me. And so when you talk about like, well, what should I share? And what shouldn’t I share? I think there’s this aspect of like, well, what feels right to you? And then maybe take a moment to feel like, okay, this feels right to me, and then ask yourself this question. Are you playing it safe? Because you’re scared? Or do you truly not feel comfortable sharing it? Right? And

D.J. Paris 40:36
those are two very, very different things. There’s this, there’s this, Hey, I really want to take this leap. But I’m scared. And that’s an end, you need to get honest about that and say, no, okay, this is really a fear thing. And you know, what you can evaluate whether it’s a legitimate fear or whether it’s a fear to overcome, that’s, that’s fine, but just identifying, okay? The truth is, I’m actually afraid to show people I’m into, you know, weaving because I don’t think that’s masculine or something or, or I’m worried about how that might be perceived, or whatever, whatever, you know, your thing is that you don’t, but it’s like really important to you. It’s and the other thing, so the one thing is about figuring out, what is just legitimate fear of like, you know, maybe this would be better not to share, if my wisest self says, you know, don’t share that, because you want to keep that for yourself or for your close friends. And then there’s the other part that’s like, No, I’m just a little bit scared of how it might be perceived, like the fear of other people judging me. That’s a different thing. And that’s what what we’re talking about is like, you know, it’s funny. So you had mentioned going into couples therapy prior to your, your marriage prior to getting married. And even if you were still in couples therapy, I don’t think any rational human being would would be judgmental of that in a negative way. I think they would be like, Wow, that’s awesome. That him he and Lizzie went, you know, went into counseling to figure things out and to get the help that they need. And, you know, gosh, probably most couples need couples therapy. But just this idea of sharing it, what it does is it’s vulnerable, it’s courageous to share it. Because again, you are putting yourself out to possibly be judged and have somebody go, Well, what’s wrong with with their marriage or whatever, you’re willing to share it? It obviously worked out well for you guys. But even if it hadn’t worked out, well, the the willingness to share what’s hard, is what creates intimacy. It’s what creates this connection. Now I feel more connected to you, because I’m a therapy guy. I’ve been in therapy forever. So I like you more now. Because you’re like me, you’re a therapy guy. That’s cool. You’re a coach, I have a coach like all of these things. sharing these vulnerabilities typically have the reverse effect, we might have some fear about, oh, I’ll get judged. I’ll get rejected. People will laugh at me whatever. The truth is, that almost never happens. Maybe if you’re a child and you’re in the playground, maybe but as an adult, people just feel more endearing to you. They want to they feel like this. This guy’s sharing his heart.

Sergio Nazzaro 42:58
Yeah. And listen, I think there’s, there’s part of that, too, is like, if you don’t feel comfortable showing your face on camera, then right? If you don’t feel comfortable writing that sort of podcast and speak, there’s so many different ways to do it. And not one way is better than the other. But there’s something really special about being able to see another human being on the other side of the camera. Have them experience something, and you’ll be able to look at that and be like, oh, man, I remember the first time that happened to me. Right? I should probably reach out or I appreciate that. And they share it with somebody else. Like you don’t know the impact. And so I think there is this aspect of like, if you’re afraid to do it, and I’ll share this with you. I was one I used to be afraid of public speaking. And two, I was afraid to get on camera. And so how I got over it was I did 30 days of going live on Instagram. And I’ll never forget, I shot the first one, I put the phone down. I said every possible swear word you could possibly say throw it on the bed. And I went back to the conference. I didn’t come back and check it for six hours. I came back and like three people that watched it, it didn’t even matter. Right? And so I just think there’s this part where you like, you think that people are gonna judge you? And the reality is, it’s like 95% of people are consumers. 5% are creators. Be a part of the creative group.

D.J. Paris 44:13
Yeah, and even if nothing else, you can share parts of you that will create connections with people who what you’re saying might be exactly what they needed to hear or see that particular day. And that is something that is very invisible and hard to sort of think about ahead of time, but if you think hey, you know if I’m gonna post myself coming out of the gym, saying gosh, I just had a great workout. I’m so proud that I went and did this. It’s not a brag. I mean, it could be a brag if you’re bragging, but if you’re just sharing Well, I just did something really hard and now I’m off to work. You know, that might be what somebody needs to see to get them motivated to get in the gym or, and it doesn’t mean you only have to share success to like I’m always impressed and it’s so rare to see. But when people post their cheer challengers on social media that boy, that is that is a real courageous act as well. But I love that because it’s like we we don’t really relate to perfection, we only relate to imperfection. So this idea of going like, wow, like there was there’s an agent, I can’t help. I don’t have it in front of me. But there’s an agent that literally posts all their failures that they have as a realtor, which I love. And I’m like, boy, that’s That is incredible. And they’re like, yeah, it was the best decision I ever made. Because now people, now people feel like they can trust me, but I’m willing to share the imperfection of my life. And you know, because it’s all imperfection anyway, you might as well share it. It’s all everything’s imperfect

Sergio Nazzaro 45:38
100%. And, you know, I’ll share this, like probably the most vulnerable moment that I’ve had probably in 2023. My wife and I had a miscarriage about a month and a half ago. And it was really, really hard. And as part of my coaching company, I’m trying to let people see that your ability to be vulnerable and process these emotions have an impact. We’ve talked about all this right, TJ, I get on, and I share what it’s like to manage miscarriage as a man. Nobody talks about it. Right? I’ve never had so many people reach out share their stories with me. We have conversations. I’m talking like hundreds of people. And now I have a deep connection with these people about a mutual experience that nobody wanted to talk about. Yeah. Was that hard for me? Yes. Am I telling you to go do it? No, I’m just saying that like sometimes when you open up about something that you’ve experienced, and now you can start to navigate some conversations, the relationships that you build, right, you don’t know what’s going to come from that. And I’ll tell you this, two of those people have already reached out to ask me to help them buy a home. Now, I’m not saying there’s a direct correlation between the miscarriage conversation and real estate. But what I am saying is there is a direct correlation between your authenticity and your vulnerability and you’re able to communicate that and building deep connections with people that will eventually lead you and probably working with you.

D.J. Paris 46:59
Yeah, and by the way, sorry, sorry. So sorry to hear about about the miscarriage.

Sergio Nazzaro 47:04
I’m not trying to draw sad bombs on you. I just thought I’d share that.

D.J. Paris 47:07
No, I look it’s it’s not it’s not even sad. It’s it’s it’s a it’s a it’s a tragedy for sure. But what what what did you sharing that with me? Do just for me, okay, so I’m thinking about our relationship, which is a new relationship with you. We’ve only been, we’ve only known each other for about 45 minutes, I feel much more connected to you, after sharing what happened to your family what happened, you know, to or to your parents now, now to you. I feel more connected, we connect over challenge much more than we connect over over victory. Right. And so and we know that there’s, you know, I mean, miscarriages is such a common thing. Again, nobody talks about it, maybe close friends and family know, when when it happens. It’s happened in my family as well. And it’s something that people don’t really get the support they need outside of their friends and family, it’s hard to talk about, and people just don’t because it’s maybe there’s embarrassment, maybe there’s shame, maybe there’s just, I don’t want to burden people with this information, whatever it might be. The reality of it is people want to connect with you. And they connect with you through honesty and vulnerability, like you just demonstrated for our entire audience. So I commend you on that courage. And and really, just amazing. I could I share my toughest moment and 2023 No, I don’t think I could yet. So I don’t think I’m I can find that courage today to do that. So you’ve now inspired me to maybe think about finding that courage for the future. So I admire you for doing something that I can’t even do myself today. But that’s why you’re a coach. That’s why you’re so good at what you do. In social media. Oh, well, we just talked about we got I think we got through everything on social media, I wanted to ask about your your sphere of influence, and talking about the importance of how to cultivate and deepen those relationships, obviously, through vulnerability, like you’re talking about that, that certainly does it. But how else are you staying in touch with your sphere in a way that isn’t just hey, look at this new home I just sold, which is what we were talking about in social media, you know, just the just listed just sold just under contract. That’s fine. It’s great. It’s it’s wonderful. It’s a trophy that you can post, but probably not exactly what the clients always want to see from you exclusively.

Sergio Nazzaro 49:24
No, yeah. Who doesn’t care about new listings, people who just bought a home, right? So, you know, the way I look at this is every client has their story. And I have the reason I follow my clients on social media is I want to see how their life plays out. Because I care about them. I care about most of them. Some of them, right were terrible clients. I’m like, it is what it is. But the majority of them I want to I have a good relationship with them. And so I try to stay in tune with their story using social media. But I also try to create the relationship and continue Did nurse relationship in a lot of ways? One of them is, I always send them home anniversary gifts every single year. They get that for me. And then halfway through the year, I also send them cookies just because I wanted them to have like something sweet like why not, you know. And then on top of that, like during they’re twice a year, I’ll give them a call just to check in, see how they’re doing like just Hey, what’s up? One time a year also do what I like to call a real estate review. So think of it like as a CMA, we’re talking about their biggest investment, I refer to it as their annual checkup on their home, right? And then Thanksgiving, right? Like, this is kind of like my favorite time of the year, right? You have October, November, December, October, I invite them to my client appreciation party, November, all of them get home baked apple pies. And by homebaked, as you mean, like from a local bakery? Sure, then in December, they get my Christmas card. And like, it’s me and my wife and our newest son, Luca, who turns one on Sunday. And a lot of people are like, that seems really intimate. And I’m like, but it’s my family. And I want them to like I want to see them to see what’s going on. And so what’s been beautiful about that is like people call me on my birthday. No, right? People are sending me their Christmas cards, right? People are sending me gifts. And it’s interesting. And it’s like, I wasn’t doing it for that. But what I love about it is that, like, I know, we have an actual relationship now. And so I always tell my clients, our relationship actually begins after closing. And so I mean, that

D.J. Paris 51:31
will and you have a, you have processes in place to deliver on that promise, which don’t do any. Right. Right. But this idea is like, you know, you know, every year you’re going to be having this annual review, you’re gonna be calling them to other times throughout the year, you’re going to be you know, delivering things for them over the holiday season. And, and most importantly, you’re checking in on their social media to learn what they’re doing. So this way, when you do call them or you do reach out, you’re like, Hey, I saw you were just in Cancun, over you know, the last weekend like, how was that that looked awesome. Like you actually gives you things to talk about when you want to reach out because you know, what’s going on in their life? Thank God for social media for that, that aspect of it.

Sergio Nazzaro 52:12
Yeah, I think I just, you know, people, because I coach, I have coached some real estate agents at AZ to the director of coaching and training at etc. And a lot of agents get worked up and the fact that like, well, I don’t want to annoy my clients, I was like, would you annoy your friend, if you saw them go on vacation? You ask them how it was? And they’re like, No, I was like, so you think these people are just different? I’ll see if it feels right to you. And I tell them this, your intent is your compass. If your intent is simply to ask about their vacation, then that’s your compass. And that’s okay.

D.J. Paris 52:45
Yeah. I’ve always said, especially like, in the dating scene, sometimes, you know, men, I get, I’m a man. So I think from a man’s perspective, men who are like wanting to approach a woman, they’re like, I don’t want to be creepy. And I’m like, here’s the rule. If you’re not a creep, you don’t have to worry about it. If you’re a creep, then yeah, don’t approach a woman. But if you’re not a creepy person, you don’t have to worry because people understand that you’re not a creepy person, or they’ll figure that out really quickly. You don’t have to be too concerned. Like you were said most people aren’t thinking about you anyway, right? They’ve got their own problems, their own shit going on in their mind, and they just want to get through the day. But but the point is, they’re not really thinking about about you very much. But, but you can demonstrate a tremendous amount of care about them by by learning what’s going on in their lives and, you know, paying attention and giving them feedback that you know, what, what’s going on with them. And, yeah, all of this makes, you know, we’re gonna I’m gonna cut this episode off in just a moment, because there’s so much more I want to get to and I would have you on for another hour. And I’m going to have you back because this is this is all incredible. And Sergio, Sergio is just incredible person, you know, served our country has been incredibly successful in real estate is willing to start teaching other people about this. He’s doing this at his own company. He has his own podcast, he has also, you know, this, this coaching business that I want you guys all to explore. First, I want you to listen to his podcast and also check out his his coaching company. So I want everybody to go to become the standard dot live link to that will be in the show notes. And I want you to consider learning more about Sergios coaching program. God, you know, so many coaches in this industry have never actually sold real estate. So, so why don’t go to somebody who actually knows what they’re doing has actually been in the trenches, and also doesn’t just focus on business, he can tell you the pitfalls of focusing exclusively on business and what that does to every other part of your life. So he can actually help you holistically and really iron out any of the rough edges in your life and we all have rough edges. It’s all part of the deal. And so having somebody that can help guide you through those rough edges. I mean, our best thinking got us to those rough edges. Is ourselves right? So we could FASAB are all our own problems ourselves, we would guess what we can’t, but we can get help when we need it. And Sergio is there to help you. So listen to his podcast become the standard, go visit his website, become the standard dot live, check out his coaching program, follow him on Instagram, watch what he’s doing and consider getting through some of those fears yourself. Guess what, nobody likes the way they look or sound on audio or video. Nobody likes it. So if you’re like, I don’t like the way look and sound join the Club. We’re all in that same club. But you can still get through it and actually serve your clients better by putting yourself a little bit out there and somebody like Sergio can help find help you find the confidence to do that. So follow me on Instagram, Sergio dot Nizar na ZZ Aaro become the standard dot live is where you go to learn all things. Sergio. And by the way, if you’re a realtor who has clients that maybe has a vacation home, in, in Colorado, a lot of people do, he would love those opportunities to connect with you, because maybe he’d be a great resource for your clients and vice versa, you know, so reach out to him and connect with him. He’s a great guy obviously served our country and just a wonderful, wonderful realtor. So Sergio, we are so grateful to have you on the show. On behalf of the audience, we say thank you for your service to the country. Thank you for your service to this podcast. We are thrilled and I’m having you back. So this is not the end. This is the beginning of our relationship because you’re you’re, you’re amazing and I want you back. And on behalf of Sergio and myself, our audience is also amazing. They are the reason we keep the show going. You’re the reason we have sponsors. You’re the reason that we’ve done almost 500 episodes. Thank you. Thank you. We love our listeners, our viewers, please tell a friend. That’s the only thing I’ll ever beg of you. Tell one other Realtor in your office about the show we would greatly appreciate it. Tell them about Sergio as well get you know, check out his podcast become the standard and anyone who else might need coaching and guess what most brokerages aren’t even doing coaching anymore. So you need to find somebody like Sergio to do that. So reach out to him on behalf of the audience. Thank you Sergio and behalf of the Sergio. We thank the audience for being a being on board with us. So thanks everyone. We will see you on the next episode. Thank you Sergio.

Sergio Nazzaro 57:13
Thank you so much for having me. This has been wonderful