In this episode, Keith talks with Christine Emba, author of 'Rethinking Sex' and a columnist at the Washington Post. They discuss the institutional failures of the church, faulty assumptions about sex in our culture, the challenges men face today, the influence of manfluencers on masculinity, and the importance of redefining gender stereotypes.
The lack of clear definitions of masculinity and femininity can leave men feeling lost and unsure of their identity in today's society.
The rise of online manfluencers promoting immature and amoral versions of masculinity highlights the need for healthier role models and a clearer vision of masculinity emphasizing maturity and care for others.
Challenging faulty assumptions about sex, such as viewing it solely as a physical act or the absence of rules, and recognizing the differences between men and women's experience of sex are crucial for developing a healthy sexual ethic.
Deep dives
The Challenges of Defining Masculinity
Defining masculinity and femininity is a difficult task that often leads to discomfort and confusion. While there is a desire to break free from traditional gender roles and stereotypes, the lack of clear definitions can leave men feeling lost and unsure of their identity. The shift in societal and economic factors, such as the disappearance of traditional male-centric jobs and the rise of women in the workforce, has challenged the traditional provider and protector role of men. This uncertainty, combined with the fear of being labeled toxic, can drive young men to seek guidance from the manosphere, an online community that often promotes immature and amoral versions of masculinity.
The Importance of Positive Role Models
The lack of male role models in many communities exacerbates the confusion and sense of malaise experienced by men today. Without clear guidance, young men turn to online manfluencers who claim to have the answers on what it means to be a real man. However, these figures often promote an immature and amoral version of masculinity that is untethered from social good and higher virtue. It is crucial to provide healthier role models and a clearer vision of masculinity that emphasizes maturity, self-sacrifice, and a care for others.
The Need for Rethinking Sex
Redefining the meaning and purpose of sex is necessary in today's society. Challenging faulty assumptions, such as the belief that sex is solely a physical act or the absence of rules will make one happier, allows for a more holistic and virtuous understanding of sex. Beyond mere consent, a positive vision of good sex requires willing the good of the other person, considering the needs and desires of both parties. Recognizing the differences between men and women in their experience of sex is essential in developing a healthy sexual ethic.
The Challenges of Leaving Evangelicalism
Leaving evangelicalism is not equivalent to leaving Christianity. Many individuals, like Kristi Numbah, who converted to Catholicism, still consider themselves practicing Christians. The reasons for leaving evangelicalism often stem from a sense of dissatisfaction with the shallow answers provided by the tradition, particularly when it comes to complex issues like sex and relationships. The failure of evangelical institutions to uphold their claimed moral authority, especially in the political realm, has caused disillusionment for many people. Additionally, the rise of individualism and the desire to forge one's own path and belief system has contributed to the shift away from evangelicalism.
The Challenges of Defining Masculinity
Defining masculinity and femininity is a challenging task that often leads to discomfort and confusion. While there is a desire to break free from traditional gender roles and stereotypes, the lack of clear definitions can leave men feeling lost and unsure of their identity. The shift in societal and economic factors, such as the disappearance of traditional male-centric jobs and the rise of women in the workforce, has challenged the traditional provider and protector role of men. This uncertainty, combined with the fear of being labeled toxic, can drive young men to seek guidance from the manosphere, an online community that often promotes immature and amoral versions of masculinity.
“Anything goes.” That’s what modern-day sexual ethics has taught us. So, why then, do so many of our sexual experiences lead to frustration, disappointment, and shame? Today, Keith talks with Christine Emba, the author of “Rethinking Sex” and a columnist at the Washington Post, to discover more. Christine starts by explaining why she walked away from evangelicalism and how evangelical traditions surrounding sex contributed to her decision. She unpacks the institutional failures of the church that she believes have led to to today’s mass dechurching movement. Then, she shares some of our culture’s faulty (and harmful!) assumptions about sex, including confusion around consent being enough and men and women’s unwillingness to admit their differences. Plus, how does she define masculinity vs. femininity, and is it harder to be a man in today’s world than it was a generation ago? How can men and women work together to rethink the topic of sex in a more constructive, virtuous way? Listen now!
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