The World Is Hard, That’s Why Home Shouldn’t Be (feat. Jon Fogel)

Jan 28, 2026

Jon Fogel, parenting researcher and author of Punishment-Free Parenting, translates neuroscience into practical guidance. He challenges obedience-focused discipline and explores values over rules. Short conversations cover tone, yelling as regulation, letting kids face good stress, and parenting as adult growth.

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ADVICE

Values Before Rules

Define family values first, then let age-appropriate rules grow from those values.
Use values to guide consistent boundaries across different ages and stages.

ADVICE

Correct Tone Not Just Words

Teach kids that tone and intention matter more than exact words in relationships.
Correct the tone ('that's not a tone we use') rather than only policing words.

INSIGHT

Parent With The End In Mind

Start with the adult you want your child to become, not short-term obedience.
Parenting for long-term emotional health changes daily choices like mealtime and homework priorities.

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Most parents are doing everything they can to raise good kids, and still feeling exhausted, reactive, and unsure if they’re actually helping in the long run.

So much parenting advice is obsessed with today’s behavior: listening, sharing, cooperating, “being good.” But this episode zooms out and asks a much bigger question: Who are you raising your child to become?

Kristin sits down with parenting researcher, Whole Parent founder, and author Jon Fogel to challenge one of the most deeply ingrained ideas in parenting: that control and obedience create resilient kids. Together, they unpack why obedience can look like a win in the short term, while quietly undermining confidence, resilience, and emotional health over time: and what actually builds those skills instead.

They explore how everyday power struggles shape the adult your child will eventually become, why so many well-intentioned discipline strategies backfire, and how shifting from rules to values can completely change your home dynamic.

This episode will:

* Help you shift your focus from short-term obedience to long-term emotional health

* Reframe discipline as skill-building, not behavior control

* Clarify the difference between rules and values — and why values actually stick

* Explain why yelling is a nervous system issue, not a discipline strategy

* Give you a framework for parenting with respect, boundaries, and authority

This conversation will change how you think about discipline, power, and success in parenting. It’s for parents who want to stop micromanaging behavior and start raising confident, capable adults, without losing boundaries or authority along the way.

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