So We’ve Been Told with Sahaj Kaur Kohli

Intercultural Relationships: Love or Betrayal?

Apr 23, 2025

Discover the rollercoaster of intercultural love as personal stories intertwine with societal challenges. Hear the heartfelt struggles of navigating family expectations and cultural traditions within relationships. Dive into the issues of colorism, internalized racism, and the quest for identity that many face as children of immigrants. This conversation blends humor with vulnerability, celebrating the beauty found in bridging cultures and offering insights that encourage understanding and acceptance in love.

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ANECDOTE

Sahaj's Intercultural Love Story

Sahaj Kaur Kohli shares how her husband Sam, a white man, makes her feel fully seen and safe in their intercultural relationship.
Despite joy, she faces significant judgment, especially from her Indian Sikh community, for marrying outside her race and culture.

INSIGHT

Racism's Lingering Impact on Dating

Colorism, anti-Blackness, and casteism remain deep challenges in immigrant communities affecting interracial dating.
Children of immigrants often challenge these legacies, navigating family expectations while seeking their own happiness.

ANECDOTE

Examining Internalized Cultural Biases

A Chinese man discusses noticing stereotypes and internalized biases in East Asian and South Asian dating patterns.
He acknowledges personal past prejudices and highlights the need to question media and cultural stereotypes.

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Intercultural and interracial relationships can be rewarding, difficult, messy — or all of the above. In this episode, Sahaj Kaur Kohli opens up about her love story as the first in her family to marry outside race, religion, and culture. We also hear deeply personal reflections from other children of immigrants who are navigating love, heartbreak, and identity across cultural and racial lines. Together, we confront hard truths — anti-Blackness, colorism, internalized racism, and community bias — while also celebrating the beauty of bridging and blending cultures. Sahaj will answer your questions on navigating the challenging (and awkward!) parts of dating, like introducing your partner to your family, and she offers advice on the ultimate dilemma: love or loyalty?

Find exclusive bonus content and continue the conversation with others on Sahaj Kaur Kohli’s Substack, Culturally Enough.

Sahaj Kaur Kohli is the host and creator of this series. Chrystal Genesis is our Executive Producer and Creative Director. Tess Novotny is our lead producer. Music and Audio Engineering by 4S Studios.

For more information, show notes, and resources, visit sahajkaurkohli.com/podcast.

Follow Brown Girl Therapy on Instagram at @browngirltherapy.

So We’ve Been Told is a bold take on wellness, love, and family by sharing what it means to live between cultures. In a new eight-part series, award-winning therapist Sahaj Kaur Kohli breaks down the stories we’ve been told about bicultural identity, relationships and mental health. Featuring real talk, practical advice, expert wisdom and stories from her 250,000-strong community, Brown Girl Therapy, Sahaj helps you understand your past and unpack the present so you can thrive on your own terms.

The eight episodes will explore: living a double life between cultures, family secrets, intercultural relationships, narcissism in immigrant families, duty as a form of love – and control, estrangement, boundary setting with immigrant parents, immigrant guilt, and sex.

This show is for anyone who lives between cultures – or anyone who loves, works with, or knows someone who does (hint: you!).