Introducing: Consenting to Unwanted Sex

What happens when women repeatedly say "yes" to sex they don't actually want? The answer might surprise—and disturb—you.

Dr. Cami Hurst pulls back the curtain on her groundbreaking PhD research examining the hidden consequences of "duty sex" in long-term relationships. Drawing from over 1,300 women's experiences, she reveals striking findings that challenge our understanding of consent and sexual health.

Most disturbingly, 53% of women who consented to unwanted sex with their partners developed moderate to high PTSD-like symptoms, despite no history of sexual assault or physical coercion. These women reported significant emotional distress, relationship strain, and sexual aversion that compounded over time. One participant captured this perfectly: "The cycle of duty sex and resentment has killed any kind of emotional intimacy in our relationship."

The research illuminates a troubling reality—that unrecognized verbal and emotional coercion permeates many bedrooms, with 82% of participants experiencing pressure after initially refusing sex. As one woman put it, "He was never coercive, only pouty and mad at me. It was easier to consent than to deal with his emotions."

This episode serves as an introduction to an upcoming series featuring diverse cultural experts exploring how different communities experience this phenomenon. Dr. Hurst aims to expand beyond her homogeneous sample to understand how cultural factors may contribute to or protect against these patterns.

Whether you're struggling with sexual desire discrepancies in your own relationship, working as a therapist with couples facing intimacy issues, or simply interested in relationship dynamics, this research provides crucial insights into why consent alone isn't enough. Share your experiences or thoughts by emailing cami@camhurst.com, and join us as we explore this important conversation over the coming year.