Episode 148: The Truth About Marriage—Dan Allender on Healing, Intimacy & Hard Fights

Mar 13, 2025

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In this episode, Dr. Dan Allender, a pioneer in Christian counseling and founder of The Allender Center, joins Dr. Alison to explore the raw, real work of marriage, trauma, and intimacy. Known for his groundbreaking book, The Wounded Heart, Allender has spent decades teaching how personal trauma shapes relationships. And on the very day of his 48th wedding anniversary, he openly shares how these dynamics continue to play out in his own marriage.

In this episode, we dive into:

* The surprising (and hilarious) fight he and his wife had the night before their anniversary

* Why marriage is both heaven and hell—and why that’s actually a good thing

* The childhood wounds that have impacted his own marriage

* Why logic doesn’t help when we get emotionally hijacked

* How to fight well and grow through conflict

Check out The Deep Rooted Marriage anywhere books are sold.

Have a question for Dr. Alison? Leave it here.

Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here.

If you enjoyed this episode, you'll love:

Episode 137: The Mindful Marriage—Overcome Pain Cycles and Discover the Surprising Secret to Lasting Love with Ron and Nan Deal

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Music by Andy Luiten

Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik

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