The Art of Manliness

Beyond Mere Politeness — The Art of True Civility

41 snips
Oct 11, 2023
Alexandra Hudson, author of "The Soul of Civility," dives into the essential contrast between civility and mere politeness. She argues that true civility often requires uncomfortable honesty and genuine dialogue over surface-level etiquette. Exploring historical examples and the interplay of civility with democracy, Hudson emphasizes the importance of self-control and personal responsibility in fostering respectful communities. She also highlights how kind-hearted gestures create positive ripple effects, redefining our interpersonal interactions.
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INSIGHT

Civility vs. Politeness

  • Civility and politeness are distinct concepts.
  • Politeness is superficial, but civility is an internal disposition respecting others' equal moral worth.
ANECDOTE

Queen Victoria's Finger Bowl

  • Queen Victoria once broke etiquette by sipping from a finger bowl to make her guest, the Queen of Sheba, feel comfortable.
  • This demonstrates that true civility sometimes requires breaking politeness rules.
INSIGHT

Politeness as a Weapon

  • Insecure people often use politeness as a tool to assert superiority.
  • They rigidly adhere to rules to judge and feel superior to those who break them.
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