#87: Do you want to be with me?

In light of some of the episodes we have produced this season - the deeper pain points, the why work episodes - there is a looming question I have wanted to address with Jason, on behalf of all women. And here is the question: Why did you marry me? And what makes me think you want to be with me today?

Maybe better put - convince me that you want to be with me. And in all fairness - she also has to answer the same question: do I want to be with him?

Jason shared some of the ways he thinks he can show her that he wants to be with her and here they are:

1 - Protecting her from him. (Jason gave the example of his selfishness or his ADD.)

2 - Sacrifice and surrender for her behalf - "I will surrender for her sake."

3 - Pursuit of and commitment to holistic intimacy.

4 - Surrendering physical intimacy.

5 - Honoring her needs / boundaries.

6 - Saying it: I want to be with you.

7 - Fidelity.

8 - Restitution - considering the question: in what ways am I making your life better?

Jason mentioned the quote from John Bowlby - "Security is knowing you exist in someone else's mind."

I also shared what it looked like for me to get to a place of peace regarding this question. I spoke about having an expectant hope / wait that this would get resolved, and to hold this conundrum out in front of me. I had to decide if I wanted to be with Jason and I also had to watch to see if Jason showed (behaviorally) if he wanted to be with me, even when I was at my worst.

Ultimately - it's so important for her to know and experience the peace of mind that comes with knowing where he is at on this topic.

We are so glad YOU are here, thanks for joining us for Season #7.

• Registration for the next WOHT workshop for men coming April 4-6, 2025 outside Austin, TX. Click here for all the details and to register.

• Applications open today for the Spring 2025 Women's Retreat. Would love for you to consider joining me and my team there.

• Empowered Boundaries is SOLD OUT as of last week. Join the Wait List to be the first to know when the class opens again for registration.

• Make sure you download the Podcast Freebies! You can do that here.

• For more information on RL Academy, click here.

• Join the community on Instagram - @shelley_martinkus.

• We offer 1:1 coaching, couples recovery coaching, support groups, MasterClasses and on-line courses - check out our websites: redemptiveliving.com and rlforwomen.com for the full scoop!

• Click here to subscribe to Shelley's {almost} monthly letter + announcements. Click here to subscribe to Jason's list.

• Questions for the Podcast? Email us with the subject line: Podcast.