Calm Parenting Podcast How to Discipline Intense Kids Without Using Fear or Being Permissive #554
Jan 18, 2026
Navigating parenting with intense kids can feel overwhelming. The discussion explores the complexity of strong-willed children, emphasizing that their questions often stem from curiosity, not defiance. It contrasts harsh discipline with overly lenient approaches, advocating for a calm, authoritative style that fosters connection and teaches responsibility. Practical strategies include validating emotions, allowing space, and using physical tasks to help children regain control. A thoughtful approach promotes healthier relationships while managing intense feelings.
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Why Strong-Willed Kids Ask Why
- Strong-willed children often ask "why" because they're strategic thinkers seeking context, not simply being defiant.
- Kirk Martin frames this as a strength that forces parents to examine assumptions and grow.
Calm, Connected, Authoritative Parenting
- Authoritative parenting combines calm connection with firm leadership to both teach and change behavior.
- Kirk Martin contrasts this with authoritarian fear and permissive sweetness and favors a balanced authoritative style.
Childhood Wounds Shape Parenting
- Parents' own childhood wounds shape how they respond: overcomforting can be an attempt to give what they never received.
- Kirk Martin urges self-work so boundaries don't become blurred by reparenting impulses.