Before Breakfast Appreciation helps, even when you can't
Sep 25, 2025
Discover the power of sincere appreciation in reducing resentment, especially when labor isn't evenly split at home or work. Learn about the often unnoticed mental labor involved in coordinating tasks and how it impacts relationships. Delve into research highlighting gender disparities in mental work distribution. Laura shares practical ways to express gratitude, emphasizing that acknowledgment can boost happiness and bond. Finally, she encourages open communication when appreciation is lacking.
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Invisible Mental Work Matters
- Invisible mental work around the household often outweighs visible chores and gets overlooked.
- Recognizing that mental load reveals why apparent task splits can be misleading.
The Birthday-Party Example
- Laura gives the example of two parents appearing to split party duties but one handling all the planning.
- That parent bought gifts, wrapped them, filled waivers, and coordinated logistics behind the scenes.
Appreciation Reduces Resentment
- Research shows mental labor is often unequally divided in couples, creating resentment.
- Acknowledging and thanking the person doing that labor reduces resentment and increases happiness.