In this podcast, the hosts discuss the dark side of values and the potential dangers of being too attached to them. They explore the concept of the shadow self and the pitfalls of rigidity in values. They also discuss the importance of finding a balance and respecting other perspectives, and highlight the transformative potential of freedom as a core value.
Extreme attachment to values can lead to rigidity and blind spots, limiting collaboration and adaptability.
Values should be used as a tool for expansive living, fostering collaboration, honesty, and flexibility.
Deep dives
The Pitfalls of Extreme Values
In this podcast episode, the hosts discuss the potential pitfalls of having extreme values and taking them too strongly. They highlight the importance of recognizing that values should be an internal tool for personal growth and emotional intelligence, but should not be imposed on others. They also discuss how an excessive attachment to values can lead to rigidity and blind spots, limiting one's ability to collaborate effectively and adapt. The hosts provide examples such as the negative impacts of extreme independence and the dangers of becoming overly attached to certain dietary preferences. They emphasize the need for balance and the importance of not using values as a justification for being an asshole.
Expansive vs Contractive Values
Another key point discussed in the podcast is the idea of values as a means of expansive living rather than contractive living. The hosts encourage listeners to use their values as a tool to open up possibilities and create meaningful experiences, rather than narrowing their focus to control and minimizing life. They provide examples of how values, when used in an expansive way, can foster collaboration, encourage honesty, and incorporate flexibility. They caution against being overly attached to values and urge individuals to consider the shadow or blind spots that can arise from rigidly adhering to a value.
Balancing Values and Avoiding Control
The episode concludes with the hosts emphasizing the need for balance when it comes to values. They highlight the distinction between holding true to one's values and using them as an excuse to control others. They advise against becoming obsessed with healthy eating to the point of developing an unhealthy relationship with food, spotlighting the concept of orthorexia. The hosts remind listeners that values should not be used as a license to be an asshole, and that self-reflection is necessary to ensure values are not being used as a means of external control. They encourage an exploration of how values can be used to create a positive and expansive impact on oneself and others.
Welcome back to another episode where we're discussing.... Values? Again? Rikki left last week feeling incomplete. What we missed: the dark side of values. How can we go wrong in values aligned living? What happens when we use values from a place of rigidity or superiority?
Join executive leadership & career coach Rikki Goldenberg, conscious leadership coach Justin Mulvaney, and licensed clinical psychologist turned creator coach Corey Wilks as they discuss all that and more in Episode 6 of No Clear answers on Values.
0:00 Cold Intro 1:12 Show Intro - We’re talking about values… again? 2:50 How can values be taken too far? 5:35 If you think your value makes you superior 6:52 Being values-driven does not supercede your need to develop 7:37 Your values create a shadow (blindspot) 9:33 Rigidity leads to Pathology 13:39 Inviting Values into Relationship 14:49 Is Value-alignment showing up as expansive or contractive? 18:43 Values aren’t a license to be an asshole 19:15 Are you trying to control the world with your value? 19:41 Wrapup
Learn more about the hosts: https://www.rikkigoldenberg.com/ https://justinmulvaney.com/ https://coreywilkspsyd.com/
Intro Music Credit: http://www.aaronwaltersmusic.com/
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