The Burnt Toast Podcast [PREVIEW] Not Every Piece of Nutrition Advice is Bullshit
Virginia
You’re listening to Burnt Toast! This is the podcast about diet culture, anti-fat bias parenting and health. I’m Virginia Sole-Smith.
Corinne
And I’m Corinne Fay. I work on Burnt Toast and run SellTradePlus, an Instagram account where you can buy and sell plus sized clothing.
Virginia
And it’s time for your November Indulgence Gospel!
This was supposed to be your October Indulgence Gospel, but we ran September in October and now, it’s November. We are going to answer your questions like we do every month. We are going to get into a lot of really good fat fashion recs. We are going to talk about hair. And I’ve got a little divorce update at the end, if you’re curious.
This is also a paywalled episode. That means to hear the whole thing you’ll need to be a paid Burnt Toast subscriber. It’s just $5 a month or $50 for the year. Or you can join Extra Butter for just $10 per month. You’ll a monthly live Ask Me Anything chat and even more Indulgence Gospel.
Corinne
Well, I’ve been wanting to talk to you about pants.
Virginia
We’ve decided this podcast’s version of talking about the weather is pants, because there is always a lot to say about pants. So you can just know that we’re always going to talk about pants. You don’t have to panic about whether there’s going to be the pants-related content that you need in these episodes.
Corinne
Yes, and it’s somewhat weather related. But we are definitely not alone in having pants problems.
Virginia
It’s a universal struggle of the Burnt Toast community.
Corinne
So here’s what I’m struggling with right now. It just got cold enough to start wearing pants again, so I’m pulling my pants out of my closet. All summer I’ve been wearing bike shorts. And I can’t figure out what the pants equivalent of bike shorts should be. It seems like it would be leggings, but it’s not.
Virginia
Why is it not? They’re literally bike shorts that go down to your ankles?
Corinne
I feel like the type of shirts that I’m wearing with bike shorts are sort of fancy shirts, like a like button-up or something. And when I wear that with leggings, it just looks wrong.
Virginia
Wait, I need to stand up.
Corinne
Oh no! That’s literally what you’re wearing.
Virginia
For the listeners: I’m wearing a button-down shirt with leggings right now. Corinne, are you telling me I am wrong?
Corinne
I feel like it looks cool on you, but okay. To be discussed.
The other thing is, I pulled out my jeans from last year and I don’t know if over the summer jean styles changed? But now my jeans that I thought seemed cool last year don’t feel cool anymore. They feel weirdly kind of too short.
Virginia
Are we finally done with bare ankles? Is the tyranny of the cropped ankle finally behind us?
Corinne
I don’t know. I don’t want to do flares or JNCOs or low-rise.
Virginia
No, I’m unavailable for all of those. I know some people have sensory issues and really hate high-rise but I have the opposite sensory issue and really hate low-rise. And flares, I don’t need to relive my trauma. That was a dark time for Elder Millennials.
Corinne
Growing up in New England, no.
Virginia
Slush just dragging around all of the pavement with you, everywhere you went.
So I am wearing last year’s jeans as well.
Corinne
Virginia
The Gap ones. I did also pull out my Madewell skinny jeans. I’m a basic bitch, I don’t know what to tell you, I’m still wearing skinny jeans. They still fit me. They’re like leggings but they’re not as comfortable as leggings. But sometimes it seems fine.
I do find myself wishing there was a category of jeans between the skinny jeans and straight leg jeans. Like straight but also not skin-tight.
Corinne
Like a tapered but baggy?
Virginia
That’s sounding wrong. I don’t think I want to taper exactly?
I think what happens with plus size jeans is they often continue to cut the leg wide which makes sense for lots of folks plus sized bodies but doesn’t make sense for my plus sized body. I remember
bought the same pair of Gap straight leg jeans that I have, and because she is straight-sized they are just two entirely different pants. Mine are much baggier than hers. So I would like a jean that’s like a little narrower than a straight leg, but fits like a wide leg.
Corinne
Well, that’s what I mean by tapered.
Virginia
I guess that’s what I want.
Corinne
I really want a pair of corduroy pants.
Virginia
Ooh, that sounds fun.
Corinne
But it feels like all the plus size ones aren’t quite what I’m looking for. They look like corduroy pants that I wore in the 2000s. Or they are elastic waist, like toddler pants. I want something that’s a little more like trousers, but corduroy.
Virginia
You’re not in the market for a corduroy jogger? I guess that would be a toddler vibe. I have not seen any good corduroy pants. Hopefully people will put that in the comments. Because I’m also interested. I did try the Gap ones last year and they were really bad.
Corinne
I found one good pair at Target. But they’re sold out in my size, so I ordered every adjacent size to try to see. They’re also only in white or pink, which feels like a lot.
Virginia
We need to get back to this legging shirt conundrum because I’m wondering if the issue is that with a bike short, you would wear a slightly shorter shirt than you would want to wear with a legging? I don’t think that I would wear this button down shirt with my bike shorts. Because if the shirt is too long with bike shorts, does it look like I forgot pants? Does it look like I’m wearing a too short dress and I meant to put something underneath and I forgot?
Corinne
I like that look though.
Virginia
Well, I’m not here to style shame you. If that’s your look, that’s great. But I feel like one of my children would be like, “Where are your pants?” I would feel shamed by them and their superior style. But with leggings, I wear a slightly longer shirt.
Corinne
Maybe also going to the gym so much, I now feel weird wearing leggings out in the world.
Virginia
They’re just such a workout vibe for you right now.
I’ve been living in this. I’m wearing a chambray button down shirt from Universal Standard [no link, sorry folks, it vanished!] that I have been wearing with all of my leggings and my Veja sneakers. I mean, it is very Suburban Mom. I’m not saying it’s not. I feel like the fact that the sneakers are a cool brand helps a little. And I’ve got a bright pink sports bra on underneath, so that’s kind of fun.
But on Friday, I was going to dinner my cousin’s and I was texting my sister, like, “I’m having hard time deciding what to wear.” I was exactly what I’m wearing right now. Leggings, sneakers, button down shirt. And I was like, “But should I dress it up for dinner?” Sometimes I don’t know how dressed up I need to be to go eat dinner in someones house. We’re not going to a restaurant. So we were texting, and then I ended up switching and I sent her a picture because I switched to black leggings and a linen button down shirt. And I was like, it’s the same outfit, but it’s different colors.
Corinne
So much fancier.
Virginia
The dressy leggings and shirt combo. Maybe my new uniform? I don’t know.
Corinne
I mean, it’s a good uniform.
Virginia
I am who I am. I’m here drinking my tea in my East Fork mug and my chambray shirt. I’m a coastal grandma just trying to get through the day and it is what it is.
But I do hear you, I feel like it’s like the fanciness of the button down shirt. It does need to be a casual shirt with leggings.
Corinne
Yeah. And you have to like, get the proportions right. I don’t know. I’m going to have to experiment. Also, are you wearing socks with your sneakers, if you’re wearing leggings?
Virginia
Not yet, because it hasn’t cooled enough here. Probably once it’s cold enough to require socks I will switch to ankle boots with my leggings.
Corinne
Okay. Because I feel like sometimes the sneakers, socks, legging thing gets weird.
Virginia
It gets complicated. If I’m going to be walking a lot, my feet get sweaty. So I wear the no show socks. But my Target clog boots will come out soon, or another kind of ankle boot.
All right. I think that’s all our pants news!
I have one other quick update from a past podcast. This was two Indulgence Gospels ago. I was mentioning that I wasn’t wearing my favorite Universal Standard jersey dress and other things because of the oil stain right in the middle of your boobs. We talked about how that’s a common struggle. People had so many thoughts about stain removal, which I really appreciated. And I tried several methods and the combination that got all the stains out of that dress—which I thought was history, like it had been through the dryer, it was done for—was this product called Puracy, which is this foaming stain remover thing that I put on and let it sit for like a day or two. Then right before I washed it, I put on a dab of Dawn dish soap. And that combination has brought back a lot of my t-shirts and sweatshirt type things from the dead.
Corinne
That’s really cool. I’m going to try that because I have the same problem.
Virginia
I think Dawn by itself for a less set in stain will totally do the job. But for this, like had been through the dryer, like I thought it was baked-in forever. This worked.
Corinne
One other thing that has happened since the last time we talked is that I got the updated COVID vaccine. And as everyone on the internet was talking about, people who weigh over 200 pounds are supposed to get a bigger needle. So when I went to get it, I went to a Walgreens and when I got into the little consultation room, I was like, “So I heard that people that weigh over whatever are supposed to get a bigger needle,” and the guy was sort of like, “Oh, yeah, I have heard that.” And I was like, “Okay, so are we going to use a bigger needle?” And he was like, “Well, how big are your arms?”
I was just like, “they’re really big!” What? I don’t know. Like, how would you quantify that? First of all, you’re looking at me! You can tell how big they are.
Virginia
It’s not like you know the individual weight of one arm.
Corinne
And yeah, just to be clear, I’m way over that weight threshold. There’s not even advice for being over that. Like, it’s not like “over this weight use 1.5 inch needle and then over this weight, use a 2 inch needle.”
But they did have 1.5 inch needles and he did use one. When you see it, it’s not even that much bigger. I was just like, oh, that’s not even really making a difference, but whatever.
Virginia
But you’re glad you did it.
Corinne
It was fine.
Virginia
I’m glad you did it, too. That is absurd.
Corinne
It was so funny. Just like, have you ever talked to a person before?
Virginia
“Sir, how often do you leave your house? Is this a new experience for you?”
Corinne
How big are your arms?
Virginia
Like, you’re sitting right there with your arms.
Corinne
And they are big. You can see them. Like, I don’t know.
Virginia
That’s so funny and weird. Yeah, I mean, I’m sorry. That’s really funny.
You and I texted about this before I got my COVID booster, and I also went to a Walgreens. And even though I made an appointment, I ended up waiting for 45 minutes. So by the time I got in there, I was so over the whole experience I completely forgot to ask. So I just got the regular needle. And who knows? Who knows whether that is going to be okay or not. I rolled some dice. I literally got back in my car was like, fuck! But I was not about to go back and be like, “Can I have another one with the bigger needle just in case it didn’t work?”
Alright. Let’s get into some questions. Do you want to read the first one?
Corinne
Q: But what if I really have to stop eating certain foods for my health?
I’ve been staunchly anti-diet for several years now. Earlier this year, I was diagnosed with a condition and was told changing my diet could help keep it from progressing. I spiraled because I’ve been taught to believe that any diet change is just bullshit anti-fatness, and doctors don’t know what they’re talking about. But I’m coming to realize sometimes that’s true, and sometimes it’s not. I haven’t made diet changes yet and my condition has worsened, despite other measures. I’m considering small changes to see what happens.
I feel like there’s no nuance in this space. Yes, you can be Healthy At Every Size, but what if you aren’t and food is part of the treatment? I now feel like I’m deconstructing both diet culture and anti-diet culture to figure out what’s going to help me. It’s hard and scary and I wish this was something that was discussed in these spaces. Not every piece of nutrition advice is bullshit. How do we bring more nuance to the space?
Virginia
Okay, free list this is where we leave you! To hear our response to this plus so much more fat fashion talk, fat hair, fat friends, lots of good stats, of course our Butters, you will need to be a paid subscriber.
Virginia
Okay, this is a really good question. What are your thoughts?
Corinne
My first thought is just that I really feel for this person. I think I’ve probably had similar experiences. I have conditions where the first line of advice is often “make these dietary changes.” Plus I think there’s so much online that promises so much from dietary and nutrition tweaks. And also, the nutrition science often just isn’t there. Like the actual studies are not backing this up with evidence.
Virginia
Yeah, I want to be really careful because one thing we don’t know from this question is what condition they’re dealing with. Because this person did not share that, which is totally their business. So, I think there are health conditions where it really makes sense to start with nutrition and diet changes. But there are probably many more health conditions where you are told to start with nutrition and diet and that is diet culture. So we need more nuance in that conversation.
Corinne
Yeah, definitely.
Virginia
This is it’s making me think of the piece I did on cholesterol recently, where when I dug into all the specific dietary advice around cholesterol. And a lot of it is bad. Telling people not to eat eggs because of the dietary cholesterol is super outdated and yet so many doctors are still giving that advice. So, in that case, that’s old research, bad science, and diet culture all showing up. But then, the saturated fat cholesterol link seems to be a lot stronger. So that is something to think about.
But that in and of itself isn’t enough, right? Because anytime you make a dietary change, it has all these ripple effects in your life. For me personally, this is not the year where I’m cutting out food groups to manage my cholesterol because I’m going to manage my stress and do other things. But is there another year when I might cut out saturated fat? Because now it’s like, okay, I can see that this is like the thing that could make a difference? I don’t know, maybe.
Corinne
If it’s within your means or your ability, it might be a great time to try and find a nutritionist or dietitian with a nuanced view on eating and bodies and fatness.
Virginia
Yeah, absolutely. That was a comment someone put in the cholesterol piece, that they got some diagnoses where the immediate advice was dietary, and they recognized this is going to trigger a bunch of my restrictive stuff, and so they waited to work with somebody to guide them through it and that was really helpful. Because a good anti-diet, fat positive dietitian who also really knows the research about your condition can say, “Actually this piece of advice your doctor gave you was not useful. But this one may be can help.” They can help support youand be paying attention to how did it feel to cut that food group out this week? So it’s how are you doing with that versus did you do it or not pass fail?
But I take her larger point that we are often so quick to dismiss the idea that you would change your diet. There is an assumption that happens in these communities of any advice along those lines somehow represents a failure to divest from diet culture. But that, in and of itself, feels like we’re still holding on to a diet culture mentality. Because we’re grading people’s performance in a weird way.
Corinne
Right, like all or nothing.
I also think it’s so hard to actually monitor this kind of stuff. If you did want to make a dietary change, it feels really hard to know how long it would take to have an effect on the condition, and to balance whether it’s helping or not helping and whether it’s affecting your wellbeing and your mental health.
Virginia
Those would be good questions to ask your doctor or the dietitian. If making dietary tweaks is something that historically does not go well for you, I think it’s worth saying to your doctor, “What is our plan for mitigating that this time? How do I do this without increasing my risk for disordered eating? Because that is also bad for my health. And you, as my doctor, should care about that.”
And find out how long are we going to do it for and what measure of improvement are we looking for, to know that it worked? How are we defining success here? Because in the cholesterol piece, Dr. Westby pointed out that dietary changes are associated with a drop of just three to six points in cholesterol. Which, like, if you’re borderline, sure. That might get you back down into the normal range. But for me that wasn’t going to make a difference. Or maybe it is better to be a little bit less high even if you’re still over. But this is the conversation you want to have with your doctor.
So I think, just be really gentle with yourself if you start making these cuts. Because for me, whenever I’ve done this in the past, it’s like three days later, I’m looking at a meal where I’m like, oh, this breaks all those rules that I was told to set, and yet I still really want to eat this. Have a plan in place for support and for being gentle with yourself that you maybe can’t do this 100 percent and hold onto a quality of life.
Corinne
Right. If they’re suggesting three different things, maybe just start with one and see how that feels.
Virginia
Yeah. Because they are always suggesting 12 things and that’s so aggravating. No one needs to make 12 lifestyle changes at once.
Corinne
If anything is going to make you crazy, it’s trying to adhere to six billion rules rather than seeing how it feels to eat one extra different thing at breakfast or something one day.
Virginia
Totally, totally. I hope that is helpful. It’s good note for us to think about in stuff we’re writing and talking about on Burnt Toast and for the community.
Corinne
Yeah. I’d love to hear an update if you feel like giving us an update.
Virginia
That would be great. Alright, we’re going to clothes questions now. First up:
Where can I find quality long and flowy skirts online? I want comfy waist bands with tights.
Corinne
Okay, admittedly I’m not a skirt wearer, so you’re probably asking the wrong person. But I feel like a lot of people that I see online have really nice skirts from Reformation. I don’t know if I think those are flowy enough for what you’re talking about.
Virginia
When I picture flowy skirts I go back to—remember those broomstick skirts that were big in the 90s? They were very gauzy with certainly culturally appropriated sort of pattern and you could like twist them up and they were crinkly. I don’t know why I think they called broomstick skirt. Did I make that up?
Corinne
I just Googled broomstick skirt and it did come up. Or broom skirt. Broomstick skirt. They’re both coming up,
Virginia
Because it kind of looks like a broom. But I don’t think that’s what this person was asking for. Although it did make me nostalgic for that trend. I mean, wear it with a choker and some Doc Martens. I’m just saying, it’s a look.
Corinne
Reformation has some.
Virginia
They have some gorgeous long skirts. Yeah, I see the Lucy skirt right now, that’s very flowy. But that only goes up to a size 12? What are we advising?
Corinne
I filtered for 3x. So they do go up to 3x and size 24.
Virginia
A long denim skirt is a trend I’ve been interested in. I don’t know that I would actually wear it to be honest, in my life, but I’ve been craving it.
For borderline plus size, like for the mid size queens among us and the small fats, Boden does not do plus sizes. But if you’re on the on the line, they do a lot of great skirts, too.
Corinne
Oh, that’s good to know.
What about warm down winter jacket brands that take wider hips into into the design? My Patagonia won’t zip over my hips.
Virginia
Me, too. Patagonia is so fatphobic. I’m so annoyed with them. And they dress it up with all of their environmentalism and their being good for the earth and it is just a bunch of nonsense.
Corinne
I will first say that for a long time as a smaller fat I wore men’s Patagonia. But yeah, it is a men’s fit.
Virginia
I’m gonna say Land’s End and LL Bean are go-tos on this. Not all the way there but I think up to 3x.
Corinne
I know Eddie Bauer, Columbia, and REI all have down jackets up to a 3x, but the 3x only goes up to a 56=inch hip, which sucks. There are a lot of good bigger options which are not actually down but down-like. Both Universal Standard and Girlfriend Collective had them last season, so I’m assuming they will again this year. And they go up very big.1
Virginia
I’ve done synthetic down lots and it works. It’s often lighter and easier to wash. What about Alder Apparel?
Corinne
I don’t think they have down, but they have a really good fleece. I have their fleece. They’re really, really nice and actually quite warm. I feel like I basically wore that as my winter jacket last year.
Virginia
I’m looking now.
Corinne
I don’t think they have a down one. They have a fleece and a raincoat.
Virginia
I think those are good options.
For the next question: A fat friendly budget plaid blazer? Or just general plaid recs because I’m loving this trend.
Now that I’m on Alder Apparel, I’m seeing their go far flannel might be what you want.
Corinne
Oh, interesting.
Virginia
Very cute. It’s a shacket and it’s a up to 6x. It’s a nice brown and cream plaid.
Corinne
That’s adorable.
I was not aware of this trend until we got this question, but then I did do some searching and I found a lot of really cute plaid blazers. Madewell has a cute double breasted one up to a 4x right now.
Virginia
For probably fraction of the price.
Corinne
Yep. Also up to a 4X. Then Target has this adorable one which looks like it also has matching pants and a vest or something.
Virginia
Oh my gosh, you can do a three piece.
Corinne
I know. I was very tempted to order this despite having nowhere to wear it. It’s a look.
Virginia
The Target one is by far my favorite because of the three piece option.
Corinne
Yeah, hopefully they don’t all sell out before this airs.
Virginia
I just admire anyone willing to wear a blazer. I find that to be a very uncomfortable item of clothing. Not something I’m interested in exploring. But I’m very excited for you.
Corinne
What about good sources for plus size natural fiber sweaters that don’t cost $600?
This person is specifically looking for sizes larger than Sezane.
Virginia
Yes, I linked to Sezane in an essay recently, because they said they go up to 3x. And everybody was like, It’s a lie. I’m sorry. There was one adorable Burnt Toast reader who posted photos of herself in the 3x. She was probably about my size. It looked great on her. But it’s not larger. It’s not going to be good for everybody. I was gonna say that cashmere brand that you love?
Corinne
Naadam. Yes. I like them for cashmere. They go up to a 3x and I think it fits a lot more generously than their size chart. If you’re more like a 4x, or even a 5x which I sometimes I am, their stuff will probably will fit you. I also really like Tradlands for cotton sweaters. I don’t think they’re quite $600 but they’re maybe $200.
Virginia
Yeah, they’re not cheap. Naadam is pricey, too, I should say.
Corinne
But they I think go up to a 4x. And also I would say secondhand is really good. You could try SellTradePlus or search for secondhand Eileen Fisher on eBay or Poshmark.
Virginia
Okay, not to sound like a broken record about LL Bean, but I just ordered their heritage soft cotton fisherman’s sweater which is $99 which is not $600 and they often go on sale. It’s like a navy and cream stripe situation.
Corinne
They go up to 3x. Yeah, this is very cute. Very New England chic.
Virginia
I am obsessed with stripes. Everything I have bought for fall is striped. I’m actually returning this one even though it’s a great sweater just because I was like, Virginia, you’re out of control with stripes. Plus I don’t need that many sweaters because I run hot. I often fall in love with a sweater and then don’t wear it at all because it’s has to be so cold for me to want to wear sweater. So that’s the decision I made about this sweater and sent it back. But that was really strong of me. And I would love someone else to buy it because it’s super cute.
I instead kept a striped turtleneck from them that’s in a stretchy t-shirt-y fabric because I will wear that more. It was navy and cream stripes and I just ordered a whole bunch of navy and cream stripe things.
Corinne
I mean, you have a look.
Virginia
I have a look.
Corinne
Yes. Chambray and navy and white stripes. Okay, I’m curious to know your take on this next one.
I want to know if this is a me problem or a general problem or a fat person problem. All my knit shirts end up with holes around my lower belly. And I can’t figure out why. I only have one pair of pants with a metal button and two pairs of shorts with plastic buttons. So I don’t think that’s the reason. Is it cooking / dishes? Should I be wearing an apron? Is it because the fabric and knit shirts is so thin and cheap?
Virginia
This is totally a real thing. I think it is possibly a fat person problem but also an everybody problem? Because this happened to me with a really cute striped sweater that I got from Nordstrom, and when I was talking to Dacy about it, she was like, oh yeah, this always happens.
And it’s not the buttons, but it’s the tab of your jeans—like the fabric tab of your jeans poking into cheap fabric. So I would imagine maybe it happens more to us because we’re bigger in the middle or especially if your shirts are a little tight, they’re like a little fitted in the middle and then they’re going to chafe more against the fabric of your jeans. But it’s the jeans poking through and it’s a super annoying hole. I ended up having to donate that sweater. And it made me sad.
Corinne
Damn. I was under the impression that it was from leaning on stuff like the dishes or a table or whatever.
Virginia
I mean, I could definitely see that doing it, too.
Corinne
I guess maybe it’s coming from both sides, all directions. Because I feel like I get those the most in shirts that I wear to the gym, which I’m like wearing with leggings. So I don’t know.
Virginia
But you are lifting very heavy things there.
Corinne
But not like…with my bellybutton?
Virginia
I don’t know what happens in powerlifting! You guys are hardcore.
Virginia
I think it’s related to a lot of knit shirts. It’s like the boob oil stain. I just feel like these are technical limitations of knit fabric that we have not as a society overcome yet. And I hope we do some day. But in the meantime, sizing up can help. Because that was the solution on that one sweater. Dacy told me to size up. You know how it is, you order the thing, and you’re like, Oh, I could do with a bigger size but who wants to deal with online returns. So you keep the thing that’s a little on the small side. I feel like that is increasing the odds, you’re going to have this hole because the fabric is being stretched a little bit.
Corinne
Well, not to contradict you, but I also have it in some really oversized t-shirts.
Virginia
I don’t know what you’re doing at the gym.
Corinne
I don’t know either. Maybe from tucking in my shirt. I don’t know, I truly have no idea. I think this is one of life’s great mysteries and it can’t be solved by us. But I feel for you. It is very annoying.
Virginia
It’s very annoying. I thought I had the answer and now I’m questioning everything.
Corinne
I hope that it works for you. Report back.
Virginia
Any advice on where to get haircut images or ideas for fat faces and double chins?
This is a super interesting question.
Corinne
This is a super interesting question and I feel like there’s not a good answer. I always do haircut research on Pinterest because you can find one thing you like and then it will show you a bunch of other stuff. And I think I started searching “fat haircuts.” And Pinterest was like, no, no, no, no, no, what you are looking for is “full face haircuts.” And I was like, No. I’m looking for fat haircuts.
Virginia
I’m now googling it just to see and the fatphobia in this Google search results! Like, first of all, it’s like, “round faces.” And then it’s showing me a bunch of thin women who have round faces.
Corinne
And “flattering” hair.
Virginia
It’s all about flattering, and you need a shag cut, or the 52 most flattering hairstyles for fat faces and double chins. I’m so annoyed. I’m not going to click on that. I’m not gonna click on that even though there’s a really cute curly cut that I am curious about.
Corinne
I know.
Virginia
But I don’t need 28 slimming hairstyles for women with full faces. I mean, really what we’re talking about here is it’s not that I want my hair to make me look thinner. It’s that if I’m considering a haircut, it would be useful to see it on a face shaped similarly to mine. Just like it’s useful to see clothes on bigger bodies because seeing it on a size two gives me no pertinent information to how it’s going to fit my body.
Corinne
Yeah, absolutely.
Virginia
Someone needs to start an Instagram or something.
Corinne
Yeah. I don’t want to call anyone out, but even hair salons that I’ve gone to—whenever I see them posting pictures they’re not posting pictures of fat clients. Which is shitty!
Virginia
It is super shitty. So I think we’ve really identified some unreckoned-with anti -fatness in the hair community.
Corinne
Yeah, I feel like your best bet may be to just look at pictures of fat influencers and see if you like any of their haircuts.
Virginia
You kind of have to reverse engineer this one. Find fat people whose style you like and sometimes you can go through and see different hairstyles they’ve tried. Like Marielle Elizabeth recently got a cute shorter cut.
Corinne
Yeah, that’s true.
Virginia
Corinne changes her hair all the time, so check in on her.
Corinne
Maybe there’s a Burnt Toast listener who wants to start a fat haircut website.
Virginia
Yeah, please do and we want to know all about it.
Corinne
I’ll submit pictures of all my haircuts.
Virginia
If we are wrong and this does exist, please drop it in the comments because we would love to know about this.
Corinne
Definitely. Okay, I’ll read the next one.
I’m rooted in anti-diet, pro-fatness culture, but I’m also trans and experiencing a lot of dysphoria about my body. Is it okay to have an aesthetic goal of a more masculine silhouette if dieting isn’t part of it, but weightlifting and eating a lot of protein is?
Virginia
Okay, so first giant disclaimer: You asked this question of two cis women. We are limited to how much we can offer input on this because this has not been our life experience.
Corinne
Yep.
Virginia
But I did report a piece for the newsletter. This was a letter from cis woman wanting to support her trans wife in the stress the body changes. We talked to a couple really good experts for this. Shannon Kaneshige who’s Fringeish on Instagram who is a fat non binary yoga teacher. I also looked a lot at pink mantaray’s work. And Jordan Underwood also gave some really good advice for this. I mean, I think what I learned from talking to all of them is, there’s understandable dysmorphia and a lot of stuff that comes up with the body transition itself. But then also there’s a lot of anti-fatness around trans body aesthetics and standards. So you’re dealing with two really complicated things at once.
Corinne
Yeah, totally. I was just thinking reading the question like— is it okay? Of course it’s okay. Everyone wants to feel safe and normal in their body and to be able to access spaces without being targeted.
Virginia
Yup, that seems pretty okay.
Corinne
And I think as long as you’re being in solidarity with fat people, you’re probably fine.
Virginia
Absolutely. You don’t owe your personal body choices to fat politics. You can be in solidarity with fat people in lots of different ways.
Corinne
There is tons of fatphobic advice about changing your body out there for for trans people, though.
Virginia
It’s seems really hard to wade through when safety in your body is so important. And this just is complicating the road to that safety.
Corinne
Totally. I would also say: Weightlifting and eating a lot of protein hopefully also make you feel different in your body. I think if you could focus on that experience, either in addition to, or instead of the aesthetic stuff, it might feel better. Maybe not. I don’t know.
Virginia
No, that’s a good point. I mean, part of my brain whenever I hear “weightlifting and a lot of protein,” my mind immediately goes to eating disorder red flags. Because those are behaviors that can become disordered very quickly. Or they could be behaviors that are extremely empowering and make you feel strong and safe in your body. And you know, it’s great for your mental health to be weightlifting.
And it can go in two directions. It can be both. You can both derive benefits from something and be doing it in a disordered way, when it comes to exercise. So that’s so hard to tease out.
So I guess I would also say like, do you have a support person in place? Whether that’s a therapist or someone who can help you process that piece of it. If you’re worried that the weightlifting and the protein eating is starting to feel not optional, or something you have to do in such a way that you’re missing other things you want to do in your day. Or if there are ways to tell whether this kind of behavior is becoming problematic, or is it supporting the life you want. And maybe talking to someone who can help you sort that out might be helpful. And I would say that to anyone weightlifting and eating a lot of protein for any reason really.
Corinne
Totally. There are a ton of really cool fat, transmasc creators. Jay, who’s comfyfattravels on Instagram and happy fat trans man on Tik Tok. There are a lot of fat trans people in their 20s on TikTok.
Also, fat men exist. Not all cis men have huge muscles. Make sure that you’re seeing those people.
And, I feel like we should say that—I don’t know exactly how to say this. But I do feel like I want to say that the goal of changing your silhouette is not something that’s possible or available to everyone.
Virginia
That’s a good point. Weightlifting and protein eating isn’t going to give everyone the same results. That’s worth saying.
We definitely welcome more thoughts on that one, because it is complicated. I know we’ve got a lot of trans folks in the community who I’m sure will have more thoughtful, nuanced advice and other resources for this person. To be continued.
Alright, next up:
Can you talk about Fat Friends and how they’re different from Not Fat Friends?
Delightful.
Corinne
Yeah, I love this question.
Virginia
I’m curious to know, of your larger friend universe—how many are fat? And how many are straight-sized?
Corinne
I mean, that’s a great question. The first thing that kind of came up for me when I was thinking about this was—there’s a range. Yes, I have friends who are straight up just thin. And then I have friends who are like mid-size, small fat, and then also friends who are closer to my size. And it’s different with all of them. I feel like a lot of my thin friends have kind of become aware of some stuff through just knowing me. But it’s still kind of feels awkward to talk about sometimes.
And then some mid-size, small fat people can have some more different nuanced discussions about it, or stuff will come up. And then also, like, people who I feel like are more on the same level as me where I can just be like, “I am not going there because of the booths,” and it’s just understood. It would be hard for me to quantify how many, but I definitely have a lot of fat friends I would say. What about you?
Virginia
In real life, as opposed to the internet, I have mostly thin friends. Which is a thing? I have fat community for sure. One of my very best friends is fat. And there are several moms in town who I’m friends with, and that was our primary first bonding thing of like, “Oh, yay, another fat mom in this town of thin white yoga ladies.” Like, that definitely brought us together and there is a delightful shorthand that I so appreciate with them. But it’s very often that I am the fattest person in a room of people hanging out.
Corinne
Wow.
Virginia
Just because of the socio economic/diet culture/I don’t even know what makeup of my world? It feels limiting in a lot of ways. Like it feels limiting because I don’t have more in real life superfat friends, which I would love to have. I mean, my town is also very white. And there are friendships I’ve stepped back from a little bit because I’ve recognized that the diet culture or that thin person’s perspective is just not going to make space for my perspective, you know? That’s not going to be helpful.
I do sometimes, as I’m sure you will feel even more than me, feel like I’m educating. But I will say the majority of my friends have really—like I am sure a lot of them are listening. Hey, ladies! And they’ve done the work. They’re interested in these issues. I feel much more seen and understood by my close friends for sure.
Corinne
Yeah, that makes sense. The thing that comes up for me all the time is the seating thing because—like this just happened the other night. My friend was like, “Let’s get dinner or whatever. Where do you want to go?” And I’m like, “I’ll go anywhere as long as we don’t have to sit in a booth.” But do they know why I’m saying that? Do they? What do they think about that? I don’t know. And I do feel like, with fat folks they’re going to get it.
Virginia
Yeah, absolutely. And be putting some thought into it. Like, if they suggest a restaurant ahead of time, they’ve considered that.
Corinne
But it is true even with fat people, you can’t always assume that you’re going to be on the same page about stuff. I have fat friends who are more into diet culture stuff.
Virginia
Something I’ve been conscious of is wanting to deliberately build more local in real life fat community. Like my friend Alexa’s Body Liberation Hiking Club, which I’ve talked about before. I remember the first time I did one of those hikes, and it was all fat people. And, you know, she sets it up so there’s no diet talk. You go as fast as the slowest person. We take lots of breaks. And the absolute joy of that experience for me, like having that in person experience was so great. I have definitely have started to build more relationships from that group. And my local artist friend Lindsey Guile. But it’s interesting that I have to push beyond my local mom community in a big way to find this.
Corinne
I mean, that makes me also just wonder how much of that is also by design. If fat people can’t get help with fertility stuff and I don’t know, it’s hard.
Virginia
Plus straight men are a whole situation.
Corinne
Oh, yeah. Gross.
Virginia
There’s that for us.
Corinne
I did one of the unlikely hiker hikes and it was incredible. I met people doing that. And I did a fat swim thing where I met other fat people who do other stuff that is cool and interesting around town. So, yeah, definitely if you can find or organize your own fat community thing, I think we would both recommend it.
Virginia
1,000 percent. Thin people we can be friends with you, too. We do have a lot of thin friends, you know? But I think fat community is an important thing to have in your life. And it makes sense that for a lot of us, it has to start online. But when you find the in person options, it’s so great.
Alright, let’s do a couple kid questions and food questions
Corinne
Yes.
How do I manage food waste with kids who take one bite and don’t like something?
Virginia
First of all, you fire your children.
I mean, the most important thing that can help is to serve extremely small portions. And it’s tricky, right? Because you don’t want to trigger a restrictive mindset. My children like frozen pancakes or frozen Eggo waffles are a breakfast staple. And there are weeks where they’ll eat three pancakes. And then there are weeks when they will eat half a pancake. And it is really annoying if I have microwaved three pancakes to then have this plate of that the child has spit on and sneezed on and whatever. And I have to throw out these pancakes.
So when I’ve noticed, wait, I just threw out too many pancakes this morning, the next day, I will be like, “It seemed like no one was super hungry for pancakes yesterday. So everyone’s getting one and if you want more, we’ll do more.” And that can trigger them being like, “We want our three pancakes!” And so I say, “You can eat three but can you eat them one at a time?”
So you just have to be really clear. I’m not limiting you. You can come back for more. But I’m giving you a small amount because we’re spending your college tuition on microwave pancakes right now. So that’s the biggest thing, but it’s also just like an obnoxious, inevitable thing. You can’t ever get it totally right. It’s super annoying.
Corinne
I mean, I find this a tiny bit relatable like sometimes I make myself something and then I’m like, do I want this?
Virginia
But then you can eat your own leftovers in a way that I’m not going to eat some child’s sneezed-on pancake.
Corinne
Okay, I don’t want to eat that either. Fair.
Virginia
of YTF Community has all these great tricks like if it’s a banana they took one bite out of, you can cut off the bitten part and freeze it for smoothies.
Corinne
How do you all feed yourselves when nothing sounds good? Intuitive Eating is my starting point, but bodies need food to function, too.
Virginia
This is true. Intuitive Eating is great, but if your intuition is telling you not to eat, you cannot listen to that. You do need to eat.
Corinne
So true. I definitely struggle with this as someone who lives alone. Sometimes I do not feel like cooking for myself. I end up relying a lot on quick, easy, or frozen stuff. Like like Trader Joe’s stuff or a quesadilla, like just a tortilla and cheese. I pretty much can always make myself eat that.
Virginia
Maybe sit down and making a list, of three to five quick, easy meals that you can keep on hand and that you know, you can always pretty much eat. For me, I will always eat pasta with a jar of Rao’s sauce on top. That’s an easy solo dinner for me or me and the kids. My smoothie. Sometimes it’s like a sensory thing or whatever. Like a whole meal feels like too much but you can make a big smoothie and maybe I can get that down more easily.
Corinne
Yeah, I also find fruit in general. Like an apple?
Virginia
An apple and peanut butter.
Corinne
Sometimes if you’re at that point where you’re too hungry and grumpy to decide then I’ll be like, “Okay, just eat like an apple or plum or something,” and then try and figure out the next step.
Virginia
Oh, that’s a really good tip. Because sometimes what’s happening here is nothing sounds good because you’re past the point of being able to make a plan.
Corinne
Yeah, your brain is like, “Give me sugar to work.”
Virginia
I often do cheese and crackers for that.
Corinne
Oh, yeah, cheese and crackers is such a good one.
Virginia
Yeah, cheese and crackers. And then sometimes that’s all I want. And sometimes it’s like, “Now that I’ve had some cheese and crackers, I’m ready to think like an adult and make a decision.”
Corinne
I’ve started to become more aware of this with weightlifting, because I usually go in the afternoons. So if I have a really light lunch and then I’m supposed to go to the gym I’m like, “Oh, no, this is not going to work. Why can’t I lift anything? Oh, because I didn’t eat enough for lunch or breakfast.” So I’ve also started making these protein bars2 for myself, which sounds horrible. But they’re really good. They’re almost like those no bake peanut butter bars. I just keep them like in my fridge. They have protein powder and ground flax in them.
Virginia
That’s exciting. Depending on your budget this may not be a helpful answer, but takeout is your friend. A lot of times it’s “I don’t want to do the work of making food” and there’s no shame in ordering to have food brought to you. Maybe you can get something that sounds more interesting or just having some standard takeout order that you know if this shows up, I will eat it.
Corinne
And if takeout isn’t in your budget, you could talk to someone about doing a meal exchange thing where one week you cook for them and the next week they cook for you.
Virginia
That’s a great idea. This person didn’t say who they eat with or who else is in their household. Even if you live alone, do you have a good friend who you can be like, when I don’t feel like eating, can we eat together? Or if you have a partner saying, I need you to figure out dinner tonight. Like, I have no bandwidth for feeding myself or you but I know that needs to happen. Can you please make that happen? That is a very fair thing to ask of a partner or good friend.
Corinne
And I love that idea. Just like FaceTiming and eating together?
Virginia
I mean, this is very common for folks who are in eating disorder recovery. I’ve done meal support for friends who just need someone to sit and talk to them while they do the act of eating. That is a totally great strategy. I have a friend sometimes who will text me and be like, “I’m looking at this menu. What am I getting?” Because it’s hard to make that decision. And I’m like, “You are getting this.”
Corinne
That’s so fun. I want people to be texting me that.
Virginia
I mean, I’ll text you! Text me a menu.
Corinne
No, I want to tell people what to get.
Virginia
Dammit, I was so excited.
Corinne
Yeah, seems really fun.
Virginia
Maybe you can just say like, “I’m having a hard time deciding what to eat,” and you have a friend who knows your list of three to five things. Because maybe it’s the decision is the hard part. That’s something to think about. Like, is it that I am physically, sensory wise, I feel nauseous, like that kind of don’t want to eat? Or is it the work is too much, the decision is too much. And then thinking about how to bring in support to make all of those feel easier.
And it’s totally fine that you’re not making some intuitive choice about what to eat for this meal. The intuitive part is that you’re recognizing how important it is to feed yourself. That’s your intuition. Check. You did intuitive eating because you recognized you should eat and if you had to outsource the decision of what to eat, that is fine. That’s just where you are.
Corinne
Great point. We are definitely not saying. “If you don’t feel like eating, just don’t eat.”
Virginia
No, no. We’re saying, “Good job You, recognizing that you still need to eat but sometimes it’s really hard to make that decision or do that work or whatever.” It is not an intuitive eating fail at all.
Corinne
Okay, I’m gonna read the next one too.
What is the most generous and fun and least intimidating way to serve food at a dinner party? Family style buffet in the other room? I like plating food for people, but sometimes I worry that it’s too controlling.
Virginia
Okay, I kind of get liking plating food for people and I think it’s a little controlling. I say that with love, as a fellow controlling person. Because I do think for the most part people like to put food on their plates themselves. Unless you’re in a restaurant.
I guess I have some very foodie friends who would do this because they’ve like had a whole vision for the meal, but I just feel like dinner parties in general is a different vibe. I don’t have another room because my downstairs is all one room, basically, but I often put the food up on the kitchen counter. Like, I’ll set the table, I’ll make the table pretty, but people will then grab a plate from the table and go make their own plate and come back and sit down.
Corinne
So that’s buffet style. I do think buffet style is the way that is most encouraging or enabling of people to just get however much they want. Because you can put however much you want on your plate. And then also, it’s easier to go back. You don’t have to be like, “Can someone pass the bread?”
Virginia
Yeah family style is nice if it’s like, four people or fewer. Any more than that and I get stressed out because the thing I want is at the other end of the table, and is there going to be enough when it makes its way around to me? Or how am I going to ask for it to be passed? I just feel like I end up spending too much time worrying about that versus being able to get up and go to the buffet.
Corinne
I can see why if you have a vision for how the meal is going to look on someone’s plate, it could be annoying to watch people…
Virginia
Dump it on any old way.
Corinne
But I also think hopefully, it would be less like wasteful. Like people aren’t going to take too much, they are actually going to eat what they take.
Virginia
Plus, I just feel like it’s so common that you’re gonna have someone who’s a vegetarian or someone who can’t eat gluten or whatever. Like, are you plating to everyone’s needs? That feels like more work for you. I don’t know. Yeah, just let people make their own choices.
Corinne
I mean, that’s kind of division of responsibility, right? Like, do you let your kids serve themselves?
Virginia
Yes, division of responsibility is very big on family style. But that could be a buffet, depending how big your family is. For three of us, like, with little kids, you generally would put it at the table, because if I let my kids keep getting up, they’d wander off. Would they make it back to the table? But yeah, you tend to do family style and let them serve themselves. I have one kid who I do sometimes plate for because I just know her well enough to know she might say no to something or she might not take something but if it’s on her plate, she’s actually quite happy to eat it. There’s just a weird nuance to that, with some kids. Whereas I have another kid who I would never ever ever plate for, because I just know she likes that total control of deciding yes or no. Some of it is motor skill-related too? Younger kids just my need a little more help.
Corinne
I would also be curious about how this person would feel about someone else plating their food.
Virginia
I bet that they don’t like it, speaking as a fellow control freak. I should not be labeling based on a 20 word question that this person is a control freak, but I feel like we can sense one another. I would not like having my food plated for me. I don’t really even like other people deciding what I’m eating! I like to make my own choices.
Corinne
Yeah. Would you say if you’re going to other people’s houses for dinner most of your friends are doing family style or buffet style?
Virginia
I feel like it’s usually buffet style. I have one very foodie friend. He did this amazing taco dinner party one time where he did put these very unusual taco combos together for the first round. But then after that, he was like, “Now you can do what you want.”
Corinne
That’s another good suggestion. I guess if you wanted to plate the first round and then put everything out buffet style, you could do that.
Next question:
What do you wish someone did for you while you were in the thick of your marriage stuff ?Asking because I want to support someone close to me going through it.
Virginia
This is a very nice question.
So when we say “in the thick of marriage stuff,” do we mean the part prior to the divorce being decided where it’s really, really hard, and you’re working towards that decision? Or to be honest, I’m still in the thick of it because we’re in the process of getting divorced—like we’re not done? So the past tense just made me laugh, because I feel like I’m still really in it.
Corinne
I feel like the part before you decide to get divorced, maybe would be like the thick of it but no one would know, probably.
Virginia
Right. I mean, that’s the thing. Only a very few super close friends probably know. But it is super hard. That’s a hard stage to talk about, if that’s where this person is. Like, your friend may not know what they want to do yet. They may not know what their partner wants to do yet. There are just a lot of really big unknowns during that stage.
But here are some things that were super helpful for me, even before I realized that this was going to be a path that would make sense for us:
I was taking a lot of comfort in reading stories or hearing from people with good divorces. Like looking back, I’m like, oh, I was kind of gravitating towards that a little bit as a genre.
Corinne
Are we talking about fiction or TV?
Virginia
Any media. I mean, I’m thinking of like Joanna Goddard’s divorce essay. But I read some novels with divorce plots or saw movies or whatever. I think real people examples are super helpful, right? Because it’s being able to visualize yourself.
Like, I can’t underscore enough how different life feels married and separated. It is a real upending of a universe. And that’s not necessarily a bad thing. But it is a huge thing. So it’s like asking someone to picture themselves living on the moon. It’s just such a big change from what they thought they were going to be doing, what they signed on for. Even if they want this, it’s just really hard to picture.
But you do have to be careful, right? Because if they are not currently at a place where they want to consider divorce, even if they’re unhappy, you being like, “Look at this awesome divorced friend!” might be annoying. But just looking for ways to share some of that kind of thing can be helpful.
The other thing that I really admire all of my close friends for—and my sister, and my therapist, man, who has earned her copays— is, I suspect it was clear to people for a little bit that this is where we were headed before it was clear to me. Because I feel like so often you have more like clarity about someone else’s life than you do about your own. And nobody was like, “This is where you should go.” Everybody let me get there. So that would be the biggest thing I would say, and that’s something I know I really struggle with, as a friend in that situation. Like thinking I know where somebody should be going and what I think they should be doing with their lives. See previous discussion of control freak! I tend to think that I have really awesome advice.
But it is not our place to tell other people how their story is going to unfold. And so just as much as you can, being more in a listening role and if they want to think through all the different possibilities for themselves, then help them visualize that, but also don’t steer them towards anything. And don’t decide you know how this story needs to end. Giving them the chance to play it with their own life. That is a real gift that people gave me.
Corinne
I feel like you also got a good care package or something.
Virginia
Oh yeah. Once word did start to get out that was really lovely because people were so supportive. Dacy sent me an amazing care package. It had a puzzle, she found a butter candle, stickers, all this good stuff. That was delightful to receive. Heidi, who owns our bookstore in town, gave me a care package of romance novels featuring divorced women having affairs with firefighters and movie stars. Was not mad about that. My favorite was Nora Goes Off Script by Annabel Monaghan. If You Ask Me by Libby Hubscher is also fun.
Corinne
That’s incredible.
Virginia
And a couple of people sent flowers, which was really great. And none of that is necessary at all. Like, you don’t have to do some big over the top thing but did I weep every time just being like, oh my God people are so nice? Yes. It felt really good. I think otherwise just being available to go to dinner. And if alcohol is a part of your friendship, doing that together.
Corinne
That’s good advice.
Virginia
Alright. Our last question, we’re going to wrap up with a fun one.
If you are going to go on a girls’ trip with college friends, where would you go?
Corinne
God, it’s so hard for me to even think about this because travel has just been such a non-thing for the past few years.
Virginia
This is fantasy.
Corinne
I also don’t have a current passport. Okay, okay. You’re like, “Stop talking about facts.”
Virginia
Corinne, you’re not booking the trip. We’re not trying to put it on your to do list, although we should get your passport updated.
Corinne
I know. What am I doing? I’m like, “This isn’t possible. Why are we talking about it?”
Virginia
I thought this was like a fun fantasy question. Um, I mean, you can’t go wrong with a good house rental.
Corinne
I was going to say some kind of waterfront property during the summer? Someone’s lake house? You did a really nice lake house rental.
Virginia
Yes, for a family vacation. With my girlfriends, we did the Jersey Shore because one of them has a house there, which was also amazing. We also often use my house because it’s in the Hudson Valley, which is a pretty place to go to. I think any kind of house rental you can get to easily, because the thing is, you want the trip to see your friends and have time together.
I mean, in fantasy we have no budget, all the passports are updated, we’re flying first class to Greece and going to the Greek islands. But if we’re just trying to make a plan of how do we have quality time with our friends? That’s probably anywhere you can rent a house with enough bedrooms. I personally don’t love to share a bedroom. I love my friends, but we’re in our 40s and we just sleep better. So, anywhere you can get a cheap four or five bedroom house rental in a pretty place with a view, if possible.
Corinne
Good answer.
Virginia
All right. Sorry we stressed you out.
---
Butter
Corinne
Do you have a Butter?
Virginia
I do have a butter. I wanted to mention it because I put it in my Instagram recently and people were like where’s this from? And I have talked about how I don’t share links to random stuff on Instagram anymore because it’s making me be a free influencer and that’s not my job. But Burnt Toast paid subscribers, for you I will link things! This is a grow light by Soltech. I bought it from a local store but they sell them online. It is a cute plant light, which is a rare thing. Usually grow lights look like super ugly. But this one is so pretty.
It looks like a fancy light fixture you would have in your house somewhere. It was a splurge, but if you are a serious plant person like I am, and yet cursed with a bedroom that has like almost no natural light, which I also am, then you need it.
I realized for years, I have not liked my bedroom because it’s a part of our house that gets no light and I could have no plants in there. Now I have a tree in there! I have so many plants, and they’re so happy with the grow light. I do recommend putting it on an outlet with a timer. I did at first just leave it on, like turn it on first thing in the morning and turn it off when I went to bed at like 10 o’clock at night, and I fried a couple plants because I think they were like, “I am not prepared for 18 hours of sunlight.”
So you have to tinker a little bit to figure out the right amount of light for your plants. But it’s a game changer if you love plants, but don’t have good natural light.
Corinne
These are really cute. You would never know that they were grow lights.
Virginia
I mean, the quality of light when they’re on, you can kind of tell that this is a very bright light. But especially because it’s in my bedroom, I have it go on during the day when I’m not in my bedroom. Do you know what I mean? I see it on like for a few minutes in the morning and I have it turn off around three or four o’clock. And then the rest of the night I’m just like looking at my pretty plants with my regular lights.
Corinne
Does it make a huge difference for the plants?
Virginia
These plants would be dead otherwise. This room has just tiny windows, weirdly designed. You just couldn’t possibly put a plant in there otherwise, even like snake plants. But now I have a begonia in there, I have some succulents. I have so many things.
Corinne
That’s really cool.
Virginia
What’s your Butter?
Corinne
Okay, my Butter is that I recently started wearing earrings. Just tiny little hoops. I spent so long trying to find earrings because there are just so many. There are really expensive ones. There are really like thin, fragile ones. I ended up getting these ones which I feel like were maybe advertised to me on Instagram? I don’t know. They’re from this brand Ready-Made. They are just mini infinity hoops. They are supposedly hypoallergenic and “biocompatible,” whatever that means. I think they’re just made from steel. They have silver and gold ones. I’m now just wearing them all the time. Like I wear them in the shower. I wear them to sleep. And they’re holding up very well. They’re also cheap! They’re like $30 for a pair, so I don’t feel stressed about losing them. Because the other ones I was looking at getting were $300 and I was like I should at least start with the ones that cost 10 percent of that. So yeah, if you’re looking for little tiny hoops, I really like these.
Virginia
They’re really cute. I haven’t worn earrings in so long, my holes may have closed up.
Corinne
Mine had closed up before I bought these and I just shoved them right through.
Virginia
Oh, that’s upsetting. My 10-year-old just got her ears pierced, which was exciting. We went to the local tattoo parlor, they did a fantastic job. It was very good experience. But she’s still on her starter studs. I have been thinking we have to start getting her an earring collection and I may order these for her because she was interested in hoops but I don’t want her to wear giant hoops because I have a fear of kids and hoops and them getting tugged on or something. And I’m liking the no green skin guarantee, that seems like a great quality in earrings.
Corinne
Yeah, I would say these would be great for a 10 year old or a 37 year old. If she gets some, send a picture!!
Virginia
I will for sure. Cool. We did it!
---
The Burnt Toast Podcast is produced and hosted by me, Virginia Sole-Smith. You can follow me on Instagram or Twitter.
Burnt Toast transcripts and essays are edited and formatted by Corinne Fay, who runs @SellTradePlus, an Instagram account where you can buy and sell plus size clothing.
The Burnt Toast logo is by Deanna Lowe.
Our theme music is by Jeff Bailey and Chris Maxwell.
Tommy Harron is our audio engineer.
Thanks for listening and for supporting independent anti diet journalism!
---
1 - From Corinne: I want to add one more puffer recommendation: Shiny By Nature has one that is down and the bottom hem is 74” and it is specifically designed for bigger hips. I just ordered one of these myself and I was pleased with it.
2 - From Corinne: The recipe recommends natural peanut butter but I usually just use JIF. Also I do keep these in the fridge or even the freezer because they can be a little melty.