Kat Vellos, a designer, author, connection coach, and speaker, talks about adult friendships and how they evolve with age. Topics discussed include Aristotle's 3 definitions of friendship, the time required to make new friends, deprioritizing friendship during early parenthood, and creating rituals to stay in touch.
Injecting emotional vulnerability into long-standing friendships can deepen them.
Embrace asynchronous connections and adapt to current circumstances for finding time for friendships.
Open and honest communication is essential for balanced friendship dynamics between parents and non-parents.
Deep dives
The role of vulnerability in friendship
Vulnerability plays a crucial role in deepening friendships. Injecting emotional vulnerability into long-standing friendships can be done by openly expressing the desire for more meaningful conversations, sharing personal experiences, and inviting friends to support personal growth. It is important to create a safe space for vulnerability and to be open to reciprocating this level of emotional intimacy.
Dealing with time constraints in maintaining friendships
Finding time for friendships can be challenging, especially for parents with young children. It is essential to adapt the shape of friendships to the current circumstances. One approach is to embrace asynchronous connections, such as exchanging video messages or using communication apps like Marco Polo. These methods offer flexibility and can bridge the gap when schedules don't align. Additionally, acknowledging that maintaining friendships may require more effort during certain life phases can help in overcoming the perceived lack of time.
Balancing friendship dynamics between parents and non-parents
To maintain balanced friendship dynamics between parents and non-parents, open and honest communication is key. Acknowledge the natural imbalance in flexibility and be sensitive to the needs and challenges faced by both sides. Engage in conversations about finding mutual solutions and explore ways to spend quality time together that consider the constraints faced by parents. Showing respect, understanding, and empathy for each other's circumstances is essential for fostering strong and supportive friendships.
Importance of Communication in Deepening Friendships
One of the main insights from the podcast is the significance of open and honest communication in deepening friendships. By initiating conversations about personal growth, identity shifts, and other meaningful topics, individuals can create an invitation for their friends to engage in deeper conversations. This communication helps in building greater depth and vulnerability in the friendship, while also allowing both parties to assess their level of interest and openness to discussing these topics.
The Dynamics of Friendship Growth and Evolution
The podcast explores the dynamics of friendship growth and evolution over time. It highlights that friendships can evolve and change, and not every friend will be on the same wavelength or ready for deeper connections at the same time. The importance of recognizing and respecting individual readiness for friendship expansion is stressed. Additionally, the concept of rituals in friendships is discussed, emphasizing the value of regular interactions and shared activities to sustain and deepen connections. The podcast also acknowledges the role of new friendships in one's life, stating that making new friends is a lifelong journey and that forming connections with like-minded individuals can enhance overall well-being.
In this episode we discuss adult friendships and how they evolve with age including Aristotle’s 3 definitions of friendship, the time required to make new friends, how friendship gets deprioritized during the early stages of parenthood and how to create rituals to stay in touch.
Kat Vellos is a designer, author, connection coach and speaker who helps people make and maintain friendships in adulthood.
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