#1167 - Help! My Teen Only Speaks in Monosyllables

Force creates resistance—especially with teenagers. In this essential episode, we reveal why your teen's silence might actually be normal and share proven strategies to rebuild connection without pushing them away. From the surprising effectiveness of parallel activities to the power of perfect timing, you'll discover how to create spaces where real conversations can naturally emerge. Plus, learn why traditional advice about "getting them to open up" might be exactly what's keeping them closed off.

Quote of the Episode: "People say parenting is the hardest job in the world. It's not. Growing up is." - From Harry Potter and the Cursed Child

Key Insights:

• By age 13, parents have completed 75-80% of their hands-on parenting.

• Teen emotional overwhelm can lead to communication shutdown.

• Side-by-side activities often work better than face-to-face conversations.

• Written communication can be an effective alternative for some teens.

• High emotions equal low intelligence—timing matters for important conversations.

• Developmental changes naturally shift influence from parents to peers.

• The importance of understanding vs. reprimanding when teens push back

Resources Mentioned:

• "Miss Connection," a book about raising teenage girls

• Harry Potter and the Cursed Child

• Charles Duhigg interview (Episode 1160, January 25)

• HappyFamilies.com.au

Action Steps for Parents:

1. Create opportunities for parallel activities instead of forcing direct conversations.

2. Choose timing carefully—car rides, bedtime, or walks often work best.

3. Consider alternative communication methods (like journaling) if verbal communication is difficult.

4. Use deeper questions that go beyond "How was your day?" (e.g., "What are you looking forward to?" or "Who did you help today?")

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.