
The Dildorks Yearn, Baby, Yearn
Jan 27, 2026
They unpack romantic yearning as both painful and pleasurable across long-distance love and unrequited crushes. They contrast consuming obsession with small recurring crushes and explore turning yearning into creativity. They discuss gendered norms around male longing, risky narratives like incel anger, and practical tools to turn yearning up or down.
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Yearning As Motivation
- Yearning can motivate personal growth by showing what you want to become or attract into your life.
- Kate Sloan argues desire points your efforts and can be a positive force when channeled constructively.
Two Flavors Of Yearning
- The hosts distinguish two yearnings: painful wanting with hope versus appreciative, unattainable admiration.
- Kate compares the latter to emotional sadomasochism that can be enjoyable if framed safely.
Seven Years Of Long Distance
- Kate Sloan recounts a seven-and-a-half-year long-distance relationship that taught them to enjoy yearning while living well in the present.
- They used remote dates, movie nights, and phone sex to keep longing lively without making life miserable.





