Girls Gone Deep 038: How to Keep it Sexy in a Long Term Relationship: Esther Perel’s 4 Things to Foster Erotic Desire
Elle and Vee dive into the work of Esther Perel, a relationship expert, on relationship dynamics, how to keep things sexy and how to foster erotic desire:
- When your partner is in their element and confident.
- Surprise.
- Seeing your partner though the eyes of another.
- Longing and absence.
Who is Esther Perel and what is she about? (0:38)
When you ‘have’ something it takes away the wanting, and how the lifestyle helps with this. (2:47)
When do you feel most drawn to your partner? (6:46)
Desire requires focusing on your own pleasure. (9:15)
The balance of neediness in a relationship. (10:24)
In relationships, certain behaviors bring out contrasting behaviors in the other. (11:51)
Two types of people in a relationship: one with the fear of losing the other and one with the fear of losing themselves. (13:50)
Relationship dynamics develop around security and freedom and also self reliance and interdependence. (16:19)
How the lifestyle supports admiration and surprise. (20:30)
When you see your partner through the eyes of someone else. (23:54)
How absence and longing helps with desire yet sometimes has a paradoxical effect in the lifestyle group of friends. (25:15)
Sameness kills desire: Elle and Vee share how they keep it spicy. (29:05)
Forget 1-on-1 First Dates: Try this alternative first date scenario and learn why! (33:32)
PSA: We’re taking a break next week! See you in October!
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