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What Drives You with Kevin Miller

Shaunti Feldhahn: How Being Kind Benefits You More Than The Recipient

Aug 30, 2024
01:03:23

I really appreciate taking a topic where we think we know what drives us, and discovering the motives are actually coming from somewhere else. It allows us to come into better alignment and realize more benefit. In this case, the concept is kindness. We think we should be kind because it’s the right thing to do. And if we’re kind, then others will reciprocate and be kind to us in return. It’s usually under the “should” category of life. We “should” be kind. Especially to those we perceive as not so kind. Be kind to the person who cut you off in traffic. Be kind to the surly person behind the coffee counter. Be kind to your spouse who seems grumpy to you. When I’m interviewed on other podcasts, I’m often asked who some of my favorite guests have been or the most profound topics. I often cite Shaunti Feldhahn. Shaunti is a social researcher and best-selling author who investigates life-changing truths about relationships. I first got to know her through her book, “The Kindness Challenge – Thirty Days To Improve Any Relationship.” In it she uncovers that whether we thrive depends far more on how we choose to treat others than on how we ourselves are treated. The path to our happy place starts with one choice: whether or not to be kind. Especially when we really don’t want to be. The punchline? Being kind benefits us far more than who we choose to be kind to. I had this conversation with Shaunti nearly seven years ago and here I am still talking about it today. As I keep bringing her message back up, I’m re-publishing our talk so you can hear Shaunti’s full research. Find her at shaunti.com


Got a comment or question about an episode? Want to ask a question about your drive? Email me. I don’t want to just talk to you here, I want to talk with you. kmiller@kevinmiller.co.


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