Elliot Aronson, a renowned social psychologist and co-author of "Mistakes Were Made (But Not By Me)," dives deep into the tricky terrain of self-justification and cognitive dissonance. He discusses how our brains resist admitting mistakes due to the need to preserve a positive self-image. The conversation highlights the 'pyramid of choice' that makes us stick to our decisions, emphasizing the emotional challenges of acknowledging wrongs in relationships. Aronson advocates for embracing our errors as essential for personal growth and fostering compassion toward others' missteps.
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insights INSIGHT
Pyramid of Choice
Decisions entrench attitudes, making us more likely to continue on the same path.
This phenomenon is called "the pyramid of choice."
question_answer ANECDOTE
Guru's Wisdom
A guru's advice for happiness was "good judgment," achieved through "bad judgment."
Recognizing mistakes and changing behavior are crucial for improvement.
insights INSIGHT
Self-Justification
Self-justification stems from our belief in being above average in intelligence, competence, and morality.
This leads us to justify mistakes to maintain a positive self-image.
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This book by Carol Tavris and Elliot Aronson delves into the psychological mechanisms behind self-justification, using anecdotal, historical, and scientific evidence. It explains how cognitive dissonance leads people to create fictions that absolve them of responsibility, restoring their belief in their own morality and intelligence. The authors discuss various examples, including political decisions, marital conflicts, and medical errors, to illustrate how self-justification can lead to harmful consequences. The updated edition includes new examples and an extended discussion on how to live with dissonance, learn from it, and potentially forgive oneself.
Personal responsibility, the ability to own up to one's mistakes, is a foundational element of character. It's also the only way we can grow and get better. But as anyone with any experience being human well understands, dang, it sure can be hard to do.
My guest today explains why, and how you can yet rise to meet this important challenge. His name is Elliot Aronson, and he's a social psychologist and the co-author of Mistakes Were Made (But Not By Me): Why We Justify Foolish Beliefs, Bad Decisions, and Hurtful Acts. Elliot first explains how and why we engage in self-justification to avoid facing our mistakes, and how this process is driven by the phenomenon of cognitive dissonance. We then discuss how once you make a decision in a certain direction, good or bad, you become more entrenched in your attitude about it and more likely to continue down that same path, and how this phenomenon represents what Elliot calls "the pyramid of choice." We end our conversation with how we can learn to approach the mistakes of others with more generosity, and our own mistakes with more honesty.
The Art of Manliness 