Ep 245: The Lie We Were Sold: Motherhood, Partnership, and the Cost of Performing

In the first installment of one of our new solo series, Vanessa kicks off with a core theme from her new book The Motherhood Myth: The Lie We Were Sold—the cultural script that says partnership and motherhood should be inherently easy and endlessly fulfilling…and if they aren’t, you must be doing it wrong. Vanessa traces how that story keeps us isolated, ashamed, and over-functioning, and why naming it is the first step to reclaiming a solid sense of Self.

We discuss:

• How a shared season of overstimulation, depletion, and “Who am I anymore?” sparked this book
• The lie itself—and how it feeds codependency, self-abandonment, and the “performing for belonging” loop
• Dominator systems 101: patriarchy, capitalism, and why shame is such an effective control mechanism
• What changes when you build from capital-S Self: less personalization, more ownership, real agency
• Two journal prompts to begin untangling your inherited myths (about “good mother / partner / woman / person”)
• An invitation to help name this solo mini-series + what’s coming next (“Ego Explosion”)

We would love to hear from you:

1. What is the lie you were sold about partnership, motherhood, womanhood—or being a “good” person?
2. How was shame used to keep you performing that role?

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Connect with Vanessa:

• Instagram: @vanessasbennett
• Website: vanessabennett.com
• TikTok: @itsvanessabennett

Connect with Dené:

• Instagram: @dene.logan
• Website: denelogan.com
• TikTok: @denelogan

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