Pillow Talks

EPISODE 209: Mental Load: The #1 Desire Killer

May 22, 2025
Does sex feel like a chore? You're not alone! The discussion dives into how the mental load of daily life—like household chores and parenting—can drain desire and intimacy. Resentment and feeling like your partner is more of a kid than a teammate are explored. The hosts share practical tools for redistributing responsibilities and rekindling connection. Plus, there's advice on how open communication can lighten the load, helping you feel supported and understood in your relationship. It's all about transforming the mental load to enhance intimacy!
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INSIGHT

Understanding Mental Load

  • Mental load is the invisible labor behind household management, involving planning, organizing, anticipating, and ensuring tasks get done.
  • It grows exponentially with family size and often falls unfairly on women due to socialization.
INSIGHT

Mental Load Is Exhausting

  • Mental load is exhausting because it never stops and involves constant daily thinking about multiple tasks.
  • Food planning is especially draining because it repeats multiple times every day without exceptions.
INSIGHT

Mental Load Causes Feeling Unseen

  • Mental load is largely invisible, causing those carrying it to feel unseen and unappreciated by partners.
  • This unseen labor leads to relationship tension, frustration, and a lack of feeling on the same team.
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