Lara Boielle (Clinical Sexologist): Sex Isn't For Somebody Else, It's For You - Finding Your Way Back To Intimacy

Sex. Intimacy. Desire. Shame. These are topics we don’t often talk about, especially as women in midlife, but they affect every part of who we are. In this deeply honest episode of Tea with Jules, I sit down with Lara Boielle, a clinical sexologist and naturopath, to have the conversation we’ve all been avoiding but desperately need.

From scheduling space (not sex) to understanding how our libido is tied to how we
feel about ourselves, Lara shares wisdom, warmth, and practical steps for finding
your way back to yourself and to intimacy. We talk about shame, the noise of midlife, and why slowing down and reconnecting with your body is the key to rediscovering desire.

Whether you’re in a long-term relationship, freshly dating, or navigating this season of life solo, this episode is about breaking stigma, finding safety, and realising that sexuality is not for someone else, it’s for you.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

• Why sex and intimacy are about YOU first, not somebody else
• The difference between scheduling sex vs. scheduling space for connection
• How shame impacts our bodies and relationships, and how conversation
• dismantles it
• Why libido is tied to self-connection, not just hormones
• The role of presence, play, and novelty in keeping intimacy alive
• Practical steps to reconnect with your body and find your “new door” in midlife

About Lara Boielle
Lara Boielle is a clinical sexologist, relationship therapist, and naturopath who works with individuals and couples across diverse relationship structures. She creates safe, inclusive, non-judgmental spaces to explore intimacy, communication, and pleasure, while helping clients navigate sexual challenges. LGBTQIA+ friendly and deeply committed to dismantling shame, Lara empowers people to reconnect with themselves and build more satisfying relationships.

Lara's Website:
https://www.theintegrativesexologist.com

Lara's Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/the.integrative.sexologist/

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@julessebastian, @tea_with_jules

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https://www.booktopia.com.au/tea-honesty-jules-sebastian/book/

CREDITS:
Sound Engineer & Music: @kailesh_reitmans
Videographer & Editor: @nathan_niguidula
Producer: @lisajohnston_ @julessebastian

Welcome to Tea with Jules hosted by Jules Sebastian. Here we spill the tea and learn life lessons from honest conversations with experts, celebrities and friends.