Being Well with Forrest Hanson and Dr. Rick Hanson

How to Get On the Same Team: Relationship Mailbag

12 snips

Mar 31, 2025

Dr. Rick and Forrest dive into essential relationship dynamics, tackling how to balance sensitivity with directness. They discuss the importance of communication styles and the impact of childhood experiences on adult behavior. Listeners learn strategies for bridging emotional processing gaps, setting healthy boundaries, and viewing challenges as collective issues. The conversation highlights the significance of teamwork in relationships and how small changes can foster deeper connections. Tune in for insights on transforming 'me problems' into 'we problems'!

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INSIGHT

Shared Problems

View relationship issues as shared problems, not individual faults.
This fosters a "we" perspective, promoting collaboration and understanding.

ADVICE

Giving Criticism

Separate tone from content when giving criticism.
Ask yourself if the criticism is worth the potential cost to the relationship.

ANECDOTE

Starting by Joining

Forrest learned to join Elizabeth's emotional processing style.
By starting with empathy, he created space for his own needs later.

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Dr. Rick and Forrest answer questions focused on navigating common relationship conflicts, focusing on situations where people need to find a middle path between different needs. The discussion covers balancing sensitivity with directness, bridging differences in emotional processing speeds, setting healthy boundaries without anger, and understanding how childhood patterns influence adult relationships. Throughout, they explore how couples can move from seeing issues as "me problems" to "we problems," emphasizing the importance of being on the same team and strengthening connection.

You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

1:50: How do I know if I’m being too sensitive or my partner’s being too harsh?

13:30: I need space to process; my partner wants to resolve things immediately. How do we bridge the gap?

20:55: How do I determine whether or not a relationship problem is a dealbreaker?

33:00: How can I discern between rumination and useful anxiety?

41:40: How can I honor my need for self-protection while maintaining my naturally open heart?

49:15: If parents have certain problematic traits, are their children more likely to develop those traits as well?

56:00: Recap

Rumination Course: Rick’s 5-week online course Breaking Out of Rumination starts on March 29th. Rumination is a big pain point for many people, and this course will help you learn how to break repetitive patterns of thought. Learn more at RickHanson.com/ruminating, and use coupon code BeingWell25 to receive a 25% discount.

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