At Peace Parents Podcast Ep. 123 - When 4-Year-Old PDAer Equalizes on Younger Sibling
Aug 19, 2025
A mother shares her journey managing her 4-year-old with Pathological Demand Avoidance and navigating sibling dynamics with a younger child. The conversation focuses on strategies for validating emotions and ensuring everyone feels secure. Key insights include co-parenting approaches, emotional safety, and the importance of creating structured plans. The speakers emphasize parenting through modeling and fostering open communication, encouraging a nurturing atmosphere for all children involved.
AI Snips
Chapters
Transcript
Episode notes
Parent Freeze And Abrupt Equalizing
- Dominique described a freeze response where she separates and comforts the younger child after incidents.
- She reported equalizing can occur abruptly and sometimes without clear dysregulation signs.
Why Equalizing Behavior Happens
- PDA equalizing is driven by a limbic-survival response when a child senses loss of autonomy or equality.
- The child often targets the safest or weakest person to regain a sense of being above others.
No Yellow Zone For PDA Kids
- Equalizing can appear suddenly with no visible dysregulation because it's a tipping point from built-up activation.
- Absence of a 'yellow zone' means PDA children can move instantly into survival responses.