171: Why You Create Stories in Your Head (and How to Stop) | In The Trenches

11 snips

Nov 11, 2025

Ryan, a tech collaborator and on-air partner, joins Sabrina to tackle listeners' questions about dating dynamics. They delve into the impact of nervous systems on relationships and why self-sabotage happens when things feel good. The duo discusses how to trust yourself amidst anxieties, the pitfalls of creating stories in your head, and the importance of communication. They emphasize healthier responses to dating challenges and offer practical advice for improving dating profiles. This episode is a deep dive into understanding yourself in dating and relationships.

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INSIGHT

Nervous System Seeks Problems First

Your nervous system looks for danger and will replay others' warnings to keep you safe.
Sabrina says that habit often masks a deeper issue: you don't trust your own read of people.

ADVICE

Vet Present Behavior, Not Online Rumors

Focus on his current behavior, not only other people's past posts or claims.
Ask direct questions and look for how he shows up today rather than trusting one-sided Facebook threads.

INSIGHT

Vindication Drives Many Public Exposés

Public complaint threads often serve vindication more than truth and lack nuance.
Sabrina warns these posts can be motivated by hurt and may misrepresent complex relational triggers.

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We’re back in the trenches. This episode, Ryan joins Sabrina in the studio to unpack YOUR questions including “Are We Dating the Same Guy?” Facebook groups to what happens when your nervous system won’t let you relax in a healthy relationship. They talk about what it actually means to trust yourself, why so many of us self-sabotage when things feel good, and how to stop creating stories in your head every time they don’t text you back for a day.

If you’ve ever said “I just feel blindsided,” or caught yourself scrolling back through screenshots trying to “decode” someone’s behavior… this one’s for you. Sabrina dives in on protest behavior, attachment styles, and that moment when you realize it’s not about them. It’s about your nervous system trying to protect you.

If you keep finding yourself in relationships that start fast and end the same way, you’re not broken.

Your body just learned that fast feels safe.

The Art of Going Slow is my new 4-week live program starting November 20.
Together, we’ll build the tools that help you stay calm, grounded, and connected while dating, without losing yourself in the process.

Doors close November 18.

🎟️ Learn more and join at https://slow.sabrinazohar.com/

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