Dr. Jeff Perron, psychology expert, discusses the psychology of happiness, including defining happiness within the human condition, the tension between schema-driven behaviors and values, integrating mode work into treatment, resolving conflicts between values, and developing a compassionate self. The importance of evidence-based practices in psychology, blue zones and community, and adaptive schemas are also explored.
Recognize and detach from cravings to focus on living a values-based life.
Self-exploration and understanding values help navigate decision-making for well-being.
Embrace imperfections, let go of unrealistic fantasies, and engage in behaviors aligned with values.
Deep dives
The Importance of Identifying and Managing Cravings
One of the main insights discussed in the podcast episode is the concept of craving and wanting. The speaker explains that humans have a natural reflex to want and crave things, but this can contribute to suffering. The focus is on recognizing when the wanting and craving arise and acknowledging that we don't control everything we desire. By detaching ourselves from these cravings, we can shift our attention to living a values-based life, accepting what is within our control and putting effort into pursuing meaningful actions.
The Role of Self-Exploration and Values in Pursuing Happiness
Another main idea explored in the podcast is the importance of self-exploration and understanding our values. The speaker emphasizes that knowing ourselves and our values can help us navigate the complexities of decision-making and prioritize actions that align with our true selves. By reflecting on what is truly important and meaningful to us, we can make choices that contribute to our overall well-being and happiness. This involves acknowledging that there may be conflicts between different values and accepting that we can't always control the outcomes but can trust in our intentions and efforts.
Balancing Realistic Expectations and Pursuit of Values
A third key point discussed in the podcast is the balancing act between realistic expectations and the pursuit of values. The speaker emphasizes the value of embracing imperfections and letting go of unrealistic fantasies. By acknowledging that the perfect outcomes or experiences we crave may not be attainable or sustainable, we can focus on engaging in behaviors that align with our values, such as self-care or community involvement. This involves accepting that progress and effort in living our values are more important than achieving unattainable ideals, allowing for a more meaningful and fulfilling life.
Primary modes: Inner critic and vulnerable child
The podcast discusses the primary modes that play a significant role in shaping our thoughts and behavior. The first mode is the inner critic, which represents the internalized rules and assumptions we have about the world. The inner critic can be punitive, demanding, and make us feel guilty. The second mode is the vulnerable child, which embodies our strong emotions, fears, and vulnerabilities. When activated, we may feel like a child again, as many of our experiences are wired in childhood. Understanding and managing these primary modes is crucial in developing a compassionate and values-based self.
Building self-compassion and values-based self
The podcast explores the importance of developing self-compassion and a values-based self to overcome the influence of the inner critic and support the vulnerable child. By treating ourselves with the same care we would give to someone else, we can develop self-compassion. This involves nurturing and supporting ourselves when faced with big emotions or challenges. The values-based self acts as an aspirational figure that can manage the inner critic, challenge its unhelpful messages, and provide support and reassurance to the vulnerable child. By embodying these aspects, we create a gap between stimulus and response, allowing for a values-based discussion and behavior.
Happiness is an elusive and frequently controversial topic of discussion. Dr. Jeff Perron joins us for an extensive discussion of some of the themes he is exploring in his new substack project: The Psychology of Happiness. In this discussion we cover:
working within a workable & reasonable definition of happiness given the realities of the human condition
the tension between schema-driven behaviours and values
blending schema and values-orientated principles to create a pathway to happiness & well-being
considering whether there is a room for clinicians to be perhaps more directive around the selection of values from an evidence-based perspective
considering values from the lens of so-called "luxury beliefs" and evolutionary pressures (reproduction, safety & attachment etc)
can values reflect adaptive schemas (in contrast to having only purely maladaptive schemas)
brief thoughts on helping clients to understand their schema landscape and the value of integrating mode work into the treatment plan
the importance of the "vulnerable child" being present in therapy as well as developing a healthy adult in parallel
the challenge of deploying self-compassion and to move through potential stuck points
resolving conflict between values and how to accurately map behavioural investment into one's values
guiding principles for implementing values
Dr. Jeff Perron is a Clinical Psychologist and Author of The Psychology of Happiness, a Substack with over 15,000 subscribers. He is a Clinical Associate of the Ottawa Institute of CBT. He writes detailed guides that explain evidence-based concepts associated with mental well-being and happiness. In his clinical work, he has spent years helping professionals align their lives more closely with their goals and values, supporting them in moving away from unnecessary suffering and towards meaning and fulfilment. Dr. Perron holds a PhD in Clinical Psychology from the University of Ottawa. He also holds an MBA from Wilfrid Laurier University and in the past has worked in the corporate strategy world.
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