518 - Talking to Kids about Non-Monogamy (with Evolving Love)
Feb 25, 2025
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Abbey, co-founder of the Evolving Love Project, dives into the intricacies of non-monogamous parenting. She shares insights on creating age-appropriate discussions about diverse family structures, combating societal stigma, and fostering resilience in children. Abbey also highlights balancing adult relationships with parental duties, offering personal stories about navigating guilt and flexibility. With over a decade of non-monogamous experience, her perspectives aim to normalize these conversations and support families in embracing alternative lifestyles.
Non-monogamous families often mirror traditional households in structure and routine, challenging the misconception of chaotic lifestyles.
Effective communication and emotional support are vital for non-monogamous parents to balance caregiving duties and outside relationships.
Discussing non-monogamous relationships with children should be age-appropriate and honest, fostering resilience and normalizing diverse family structures.
Deep dives
Somatic Therapy Retreat in Greece
A somatic therapy retreat for polyamorous individuals will take place on the island of Crete from March 31st to April 3rd, 2025. This retreat aims to support polyamorous individuals who may struggle to align their emotions with their non-monogamous lifestyle. The retreat offers a space for participants feeling isolated in their journey to connect with like-minded people in a relaxed environment. It encourages solo poly individuals, couples, and triads to apply, emphasizing the need for a small group dynamic for a more intimate experience.
Parenting in Non-Monogamous Families
The podcast explores parenting challenges faced by non-monogamous families, featuring discussions with Abby and Liam from the Evolving Love Project. One common misconception is that non-monogamous families must live chaotic lifestyles, but they assert that their family life resembles that of many traditional households, with structure and routine. They address the importance of communication and emotional bandwidth in juggling parenting duties while maintaining outside relationships. This sharing of experiences highlights that non-monogamous parenting can also create strong family bonds when approached with intention and understanding.
Navigating Relationships and Guilt
Listeners inquire how to manage feelings of guilt when pursuing relationships outside of primary caregiving duties, especially for mothers. The guests emphasize that self-care, including dating, is vital and should not induce guilt, but rather enhance one's ability to parent effectively. They share personal experiences of being supportive partners, encouraging each other to pursue personal fulfillment while ensuring the primary caregiver's needs and parenting duties are respected. This dynamic fosters healthy communication about needs and expectations within the family unit.
Coming Out to Children About Non-Monogamy
The guests provide insights into how to discuss non-monogamous relationships with children, stressing the importance of age-appropriate and honest conversations. They recommend leading discussions by allowing children to ask questions, ensuring that they feel safe and secure during the process. It's emphasized that sharing these dynamics thoughtfully can help normalize various relationship structures and dispel myths that may arise in a child's environment. Open communication is crucial for building resilience in children as they navigate both their own identities and those of their parents.
Blending Non-Traditional Families
The podcast addresses how to blend families in a non-traditional, poly-friendly way, particularly for parents living apart. The approach involves transparent communication with children about living arrangements while fostering strong relationships among siblings. The idea of living close to a partner and maintaining autonomy is presented as a constructive model, offering children both support and space, unlike traditional cohabiting setups. The conversations highlight the potential for new familial structures that embrace diversity and individuality among family members.
Today we're answering some more listener questions, and we're also being joined by Abbey and Liam from the Evolving Love Project to get their perspectives on non-monogamy and parenting. We'll be discussing some questions about parenting, meeting like-minded people, guilt, and missing non-nesting partners.
Abbey and Liam have been together for over twelve years and non-monogamous for over a decade. Together they started the Evolving Love Project which hosts monthly conversation nights for non-monogamous or curious folk in Canberra and Sydney, Australia and co-host the acclaimed podcast Evolving Love. Abbey also publishes weekly on Substack with her musings on non-monogamy, parenthood & sexuality. They believe that by removing the stigma from these topics, collectively we can push the culture in a positive, caring and more loving direction.
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Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack. Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand. Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com.