Lonnae O'Neal, a senior writer for ESPN/Andscape and author of "Bibb Country," joins for a lively discussion on navigating personal dilemmas. They tackle everything from how to address a friend's husband's awkward comments to the emotional fallout of attending a high school reunion. Boundaries in friendships are a hot topic, especially when one friend needs space. The episode also delves into sensitive family dynamics, including a listener's concerns about a father’s new friend during a mother's illness. Insightful and compassionate advice abounds!
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insights INSIGHT
Beware Shadow Contracts
Shadow contracts are unspoken expectations in relationships that create resentment if unmet.
Explicit communication avoids misunderstandings and hidden disappointments.
volunteer_activism ADVICE
Handle Husband's Advance Carefully
When your friend's husband makes inappropriate remarks, respond with silence to avoid escalation.
Consider carefully whether to disclose to your friend, weighing complexities and risks.
volunteer_activism ADVICE
Set Boundaries with Friend's Spouse
Avoid being alone with an inappropriate person to protect yourself.
Visit your friend only when the problematic spouse is away to maintain healthy boundaries.
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The book delves into her family's history against the backdrop of American history, exploring themes of colorism and the complexities of racial interactions. It traces the history between the descendants of enslavers and the enslaved, revealing the challenges and emotions involved in confronting difficult pasts. O'Neal shares her personal journey of facing anger and sadness as she unearths her family's secrets. The book captures the stunningly gothic feeling of these reunions and the different reactions people have when confronting their heritage. Through writing, O'Neal created a barrier that allowed her to explore this history while staying observant and present.
Together, they’ll answer questions like: what do you do when your friends’ husband calls you his wife’s hot lookalike? Is it worth taking a self-esteem hit to attend your 10-year high school graduation? How do you break it to your clingy best friend that you need some alone time? And how do you handle your dad maybe-cheating on your hospitalized mom?
And: Jenée offers up some parting words about what’s next for Dear Prudence. If you loved this show, she hopes you’ll check out How To! and Care & Feeding.
Want more Dear Prudence? Subscribe to Slate Plus to immediately unlock weekly bonus episodes. Plus, you’ll access ad-free listening across all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe now on Apple Podcasts by clicking “Try Free” at the top of our show page. Or, visit slate.com/prudie-plus to get access wherever you listen.
This week’s podcast is produced by Jenée Desmond Harris, Maura Currie, and Daisy Rosario, with special thanks to Anuli Ononye.
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