TLP464: Become the Boss You Want to Be with Sabina Nawaz

Sabina Nawaz is a top-tier executive coach who works closely with C-suite leaders and teams in Fortune 500 companies, government organizations, nonprofits, and universities globally. She’s also the author of “You're the Boss: Become the Manager You Want to Be (and Others Need).” In this episode, Sabina discusses how power can distort perception, making leaders unaware of how they’re coming across. She explains that the biggest barrier is often unacknowledged pressure, which leads to reactive behavior like micromanagement or overusing authority.  She reveals how pressure can distort perception and lead to behaviors that harm both leaders and their teams. Sabina also dives into the tension between being approachable and maintaining authority, highlighting the importance of vulnerability and listening to others.  She offers advice for leaders feeling overwhelmed, encouraging them to make time for "blank space" and reflect on their capacity before taking on more.   For leaders looking to navigate the pressures of leadership and improve their effectiveness, this episode provides valuable insights on self-awareness, authority, and creating space for growth. You can find episode 464 wherever you get your podcasts! Watch this Episode on YouTube |   Key Takeaways [04:18] Sabina shared how returning from parental leave led her into high-pressure meetings, causing her to shift from a supportive manager to a micromanager. A colleague’s comment about someone crying because of her behavior made her reflect: "It’s not power that corrupts—it’s pressure." [06:53] Sabina warned against burnout from constant pressure. She advises high performers to set boundaries and practice “blank space”—two hours each week to unplug and just be. [08:51] Sabina emphasized the importance of balancing authority with empathy. She advocates for the “shut up muscle,” where leaders wait to speak, allowing others to contribute first. [13:30] Sabina cautioned against claiming self-awareness. She encourages leaders to notice signs of power gaps, such as lack of independent feedback, as a way to improve awareness. [18:05] Sabina stressed that leaders should model vulnerability and avoid toxic positivity. Admitting struggles allows others to do the same, creating a more authentic work environment.She explained that leaders who hide their emotions prevent others from expressing theirs. Being open about one’s own feelings fosters human connection, despite potential misinterpretation. [24:24] Sabina addressed the myth of bad bosses, stating that it’s often pressure-induced behavior that causes leadership struggles. Leaders should adapt by reassessing how their strengths are perceived.Sabina urged leaders to reflect on how their strengths might be misunderstood under pressure. For example, “strategic” can be seen as manipulative and “calm” as disinterested. [28:03] Sabina highlighted the importance of reading signs from others and adjusting leadership behavior to avoid negative patterns and fit new responsibilities.Sabina shared a success story of a difficult leader who transformed by practicing restraint, slowing her pace, and valuing others’ ideas—earning praise as the “best boss.” [31:07] Sabina emphasized that coaching should come from genuine curiosity, not as an exit strategy. Only when leaders are willing to grow does true transformation happen. [32:32] Sabina offered a quick self-diagnosis tool from her book to spot “power gaps and pressure pitfalls,” with reflective prompts like: “Are you the only one coming up with ideas?” [34:51] And remember... Know Thyself - Socrates   Quotable Quotes "It is not power that corrupts. It is pressure that corrupts us."  "Our default reaction to pressure is to hunker down and do more, more, more, more busier. But you know what? The 24-hour clock timer is going to die at some point." – "There are many ways to skin the cat. There are many ways to get something right and to accomplish something." – Sabina Nawaz "The first, second, maybe the third, fourth or fifth person to speak... Let others speak first because the minute you speak, no one else is going to debate that."  "Self awareness is a never ending quest." "If somebody says they're self aware, they're not." "If someone says they're selfless, all I care about is everybody else... it's probably the opposite." "The more open you can channel yourself as the more people... It gives people permission to come to you and connect with you, human to human." "Be mindful of how you do that openness. And would you rather they're going to make up stories about you regardless whether you say something or you don't?" “It's more about diagnosing which specific aspect of bad boss behaviors are coming out in you when the pressure comes, the inevitable pressure comes in to corrupt you.  But then it goes back to, you can't do any of that if you are not self aware.” "There is no such thing as a purely bad or purely good boss."   This is the book mentioned in this book   Resources Mentioned The Leadership Podcast | Sponsored by | Rafti Advisors. LLC | Self-Reliant Leadership. LLC | Sabina Nawaz Website | Sabina Nawaz LinkedIn | Sabina Nawaz Instagram |