The Psychology of your 20s 336. Why do we crave external validation?
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Sep 25, 2025 In your twenties, the quest for approval intensifies as childhood feedback fades away. This podcast explores why we crave external validation, especially through social media. Discover the crucial difference between seeking outside affirmation and nurturing self-acceptance. The discussion reveals how our brains are wired for social approval and how relying on others can erode self-worth. Learn practical strategies to reconnect with your values, practice self-recognition, and build a stable sense of self that withstands outside opinions.
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External Vs Internal Validation
- External validation comes from others and is fragile because it's outside your control.
- Internal validation is self-derived and steadier, based on acknowledging your own effort and values.
Intrinsic Motivators Build Resilience
- Self-determination research links intrinsic motivations to greater psychological resilience and well-being.
- Focusing on growth, mastery and values produces authenticity and reduces anxiety.
Biology And Childhood Reinforce Approval
- Our brains and childhood lessons wire us to seek social approval via reward circuits like the ventral striatum.
- Social rewards trigger dopamine, reinforcing behaviors that win approval, especially on social media.