Losing It - Understanding What Makes Us Snap (With Elisabeth Corey)
Jul 2, 2019
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Trauma recovery expert Elisabeth Corey joins Janet to discuss the impact of childhood trauma on parenting. They explore breaking negative cycles, self-awareness, and separating childhood experiences from our children's behaviors. Elisabeth's expertise provides valuable insights for parents struggling to become more respectful in their approach.
Parents with traumatic childhoods often project their own experiences onto their children, triggering intense emotional responses.
Reconnecting with oneself through emotional journaling and building an inner conversation can foster healing, self-compassion, and model emotional growth for children.
Deep dives
Understanding the Impact of Trauma on Parenting
Trauma survivor and life coach Elizabeth Corey discusses the challenges faced by parents with traumatic childhood experiences. She emphasizes that trauma is not always linked to extreme events but can also stem from an inability to process certain experiences as a child. Corey highlights how trauma can lead to hyper-vigilance and fear, making it difficult for parents to handle their children's emotions effectively. She encourages parents to reconnect with themselves through emotional journaling and build an inner conversation to understand their triggers and underlying emotions. This process helps develop self-compassion and allows parents to model emotional expression and growth for their children.
Recognizing Triggers and Breaking Negative Cycles
Corey explains that parents with traumatic childhoods often project their own experiences onto their children, triggering intense emotional responses. She emphasizes the importance of recognizing specific triggers, which can stem from shame, isolation, or negative patterns of behavior. Corey encourages parents to explore their emotions through emotional journaling, allowing them to identify the underlying emotions beneath anger and fear. By understanding their triggers, parents can consciously work on breaking negative cycles before they escalate. Corey also emphasizes the significance of acknowledging the impact of generational trauma and how it shapes parenting behaviors.
The Road to Healing and Better Parenting
Corey advises parents to reconnect with themselves and build an inner conversation to foster healing and growth. She suggests emotional journaling as a powerful tool to release stored emotions and gain insights into emotional patterns. Corey encourages parents to practice self-compassion, allowing themselves to grieve and feel their emotions without judgment. By addressing their own emotional needs, parents can learn to hold space for their children's emotions and provide a supportive and understanding environment. Corey emphasizes that the journey to becoming a better parent is ongoing and involves cultivating self-awareness, compassion, and a willingness to apologize and make amends.
Janet is joined by trauma recovery expert Elisabeth Corey to answer a parent’s email about her struggles to become a respectful parent. This mom says certain behaviors of her 2.5-year old daughter set her off. “I don’t stay calm, focused, kind to my child.” And she believes her own upbringing (“in no way respectful”) is the root cause of her reactions. She is overwhelmed by the responsibility of raising her child and wants to know: “What can I do to help myself?” Janet and Elisabeth consider the common underlying issues of our own childhoods and how we can recognize and heal negative cycles to become better parents.
Elisabeth's work and free resources for parents are available on her site at: www.BeatingTrauma.com
For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible. Paperbacks and e-books are available at Amazon. Also, her exclusive audio series "Sessions" is available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (www.SessionsAudio.com).