Explore the concept of 'The Backwards Law' where desiring positive experiences can lead to negative results. Learn how doing less in certain areas of life can actually bring about massive benefits. Discover the importance of authenticity, respect, and understanding emotions in relationships.
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Quick takeaways
Desiring positive experiences leads to negative outcomes, while accepting negative experiences can bring positive results.
Effort to reward curves vary, with some situations showcasing diminishing returns and others leading to negative outcomes.
Deep dives
The Backwards Law: Desire for Positive Experience Leads to Negative Experience
Desiring positive experiences creates negative ones, while accepting negative experiences leads to positive outcomes, known as the backwards law. This paradoxical concept from 'The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck' highlights how striving for happiness can lead to misery, and embracing challenges can bring peace and confidence.
Effort to Reward Curves: Linear, Diminishing, Inverted Relationships
Effort to reward curves vary from linear (more effort equals more reward), to diminishing returns (extra effort yields less incremental reward), to the inverted curve where effort leads to negative outcomes, as seen in attempts to control how others perceive us.
Freedom: Depth vs. Breadth of Freedom
Depth of freedom, achieved through commitment and focus, contrasts with breadth of freedom, which emphasizes options and autonomy. Choosing depth involves sacrifices, giving up on some choices to attain expertise, unwavering commitment, and emotional freedom.
Emotional Regulation and Respect in Relationships
Managing emotions like anxiety and anger entails accepting them without trying to control them, demonstrating a crucial aspect of the backwards law. Respect, rooted in valuing others' viewpoints and time, promotes healthy relationships, emphasizing the importance of giving respect to earn respect.
There are certain areas in life where trying harder only makes things worse. Trying to prove how likable and confident you are only makes you feel more unlikable and less confident. Trying to make someone love you only makes you feel more unlovable.
The solution to this conundrum is what’s known as “The Backwards Law”.
Simply put, The Backwards law states that desiring a positive experience is itself a negative experience, while accepting a negative experience is a positive experience.
In this episode, Drew and I talk about five areas of life where doing less can actually reap massive benefits.