Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled

Tattling and Threats

Mar 4, 2025

Explore the tricky world of childhood behaviors like tattling and threats. Discover how these actions can be opportunities for communication rather than causes for concern. The discussion highlights the importance of open dialogue in navigating sibling dynamics and the learning moments within children's play. Learn how to address ultimatums and warnings effectively, fostering emotional growth and understanding. It's all about patience and encouraging kids to express their feelings in healthy ways.

20:57

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Quick takeaways

Tattling can be understood as a child's way of communicating discomfort, and parents should respond with curiosity rather than punishment.

Threats and warnings from children should be treated as expressions of emotion, promoting discussions that enhance their emotional literacy and responsibility.

Deep dives

Navigating Child Communication

Parents often encounter challenging behaviors from children, such as threats, warnings, and tattling, which can evoke negative reactions. Instead of viewing these behaviors as problematic, they can be reframed as forms of communication. By doing so, parents can respond calmly, transforming these moments into opportunities for understanding and connection. For instance, when a child threatens to withhold play if they don't get their way, seeing this statement as mere information allows parents to address the child’s feelings without escalating the situation.

Intro

16min

Navigating Sibling Dynamics and Rewarding Self-Care

5min

Understanding Children's Play and Communication

2min

The Importance of Open Communication in Childhood Emotions

3min

Certain behaviors our kids display can really wind us up. In this episode, Janet offers a solution to three common ones. First, tattling—when our kids seem to have the incessant need to tell on friends or siblings for every minor thing they do. As adults, we might label this person as a gossip and steer clear. As parents, we might fear it could eventually lead to our child being alienated from his peers. Second are threats -- when our kids use ultimatums with peers, siblings, or us, like "If you don't do this, I'm going to... " (using their most challenging tone). Should they get away with this? How should we respond? Lastly, Janet covers actual warnings kids give us, like when they say, "I'm going to hit you," or "I'm about to hurt my sister." Shouldn't we be alarmed? Should we scold them and forbid them to say such things? Janet shares her advice on all of this and more in this week's episode!

Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.

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