That Relationship Show Betrayals & Other Violations of Trust
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Aug 1, 2022 In this enlightening discussion, Kelly Bourque, LMFT, a licensed marriage and family therapist with a focus on healing relational betrayals, sheds light on the complexities of betrayal trauma. She shares insights from her journey with Emotionally Focused Therapy and introduces an empowering video series for those feeling isolated after a betrayal. Kelly also discusses effective ways to manage triggers, the importance of slowing down processing questions, and the conditions necessary for rebuilding trust, offering hope for healing whether couples stay together or not.
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Betrayal As Trauma
- Betrayal trauma is an event in a significant relationship that overwhelms a person's resources and ability to process it.
- Kelly Bourque frames betrayal as trauma because it leaves people stunned, disoriented, and unable to know "what's real" or "am I safe."
Pick One Neutral Confidant
- If you must tell someone, choose one safe person who will support you without vilifying your partner.
- If you plan to stay together, agree with your partner who can know the details to avoid additional injury to the relationship.
Ask Confidants To Stay Neutral
- If you need to confide, ask your chosen supporter to remain neutral and not push you toward a decision.
- Tell them you need listening and steadiness rather than advice or condemnation.