Ryan Michler - How to Deal with the Victim Mentality and Own Your Life

Jan 14, 2021

55:14

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HOW TO DEAL WITH THE VICTIM MENTALITY AND OWN YOUR LIFE

Life will present a thousand and one reasons for you to quit and give up when things get tough, but how you choose to respond to these challenges is the most significant power you have at your disposal, and that's taking responsibility!

My guest today is Ryan Michler, host of the highly popular Order of Man Podcast. In this episode, he shares how he bounced out of some deep despair that included separating from his wife for 4 months which in turn saved his marriage that was headed for divorce.

Ryan also found himself unhealthy on every level and decided to also use that time to transform his health from the inside out. Now, please bear in mind that taking responsibility and not playing the victim was the most incredible power he had to change everything. He also shares his intriguing story of growing up without a permanent father figure and how that didn't stop him from raising sons and being an amazing dad.

He also shares some bulletproof advice on how to overcome the victim mindset and deal with criticism and so much more!

Ryan's backstory

A little over 13 years ago, Ryan was incredibly overweight and at the brink of getting divorced from his wife. Eventually, they got separated. It was a challenging time for him, and at some point in the early stage of the separation, he resorted to blaming his wife for the divorce. He felt there was a lot she could have done. He thought she was disloyal. It took him months into the separation to realize he had a considerable part to play as well. This realization transformed the situation around, and the break only lasted four months. Ryan had to quit playing the victim and "own" his life. He had to take responsibility for his life for the first time and stopped casting blame on everyone around him. He realized that there are things he could do right. There are things within his reach. There are things within his control and things he could influence. He realized he had more power over many things, and he began to effect changes on these things. As he said, that is what responsibility is about. It is the power that could change one's life. Not taking responsibility for the things happening around you is giving that power to someone else. What that person decides to do with that can have a negative effect on your life. The results of Ryan taking ownership of his life and shouldering the responsibility has restored his marriage. Ryan and his wife have been married now for 16 years. They are blessed with four beautiful kids and are living in their dream home. This all inspired to start his "Order of Man" podcast and movement to help men become the best version of themselves.

Topics Discussed

-Ryan's Advice on how to quit playing the victim

-How fitness has shaped Ryan's general outlook on life

-Ryan's take on on how to express emotions the right way

- The best advice for new parents

-How mentorship can speed up your journey to successes

-Ryan's best practices for dealing with criticisms

Some important takeaways

-Want to see improvements in other facets of your life? Start with fitness. Fitness teaches you to have a structure in your life, builds your confidence as the rewards are usually instantaneous, especially for the men.

-Apart from routine workouts, plan out every single day of your life.

-Emotions are there as a metric check for you, just like a fuel tank. If you give your emotions too much power or don't give them enough credit, then they'll control you, and you don't want that!

-Be more of a mentor and guardian to your children and do not make all the decisions for them. Allow them to make mistakes and learn.

-Your life's journey can be less of a burden with a coach/mentor by your side.

-Be willing to spend your resources to improve your life, unless you want to get it done by yourself with many mistakes and time wasted.

-Take nothing personally and maintain your focus on those who are positively impacted by your work.

Connect with Ryan Michler:

Instagram: www.instagram.com/ryanmichler/

Facebook: www.facebook.com/orderofman

Twitter: www.twitter.com/orderofman

Podcast: Order of Man

Website: www.orderofman.com

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